curious98 Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I have been dating my boyfriend for little over 7months. Our relationship was going well until last week, and I am not sure what just happened. I am turning 30 in a few months and he will be 32. Just after a couple of months we were dating, he wanted to bring me to his parents's place. He said he never showed anyone to his parents. I was flattered but i felt it was too early. He always told me how lucky he was to find me, and how great I was. He is an only son and his parents really wants him to settle down soon. He kept asking when i will see his parents so i eventually went to his parent's place and spent 3 days there. They were very kind and made me feel very welcomed. He met my parents and my family a few times already. He was never shy about his intention. When I was planning to go to Hawaii recently, he told me i should save up so we can go to nicer honeymoon. He has not proposed but insinuated his intention of having a future together. He has a lot of married friends and not really a crazy partying type. I am finishing my residency this summer but he has one more year left. We talked about our future plan from time to time. A few weeks ago, we talked about it and decided I will stay here at least a year until he is done with residency and then maybe move to NJ, where I am from. He said he will follow me because of my career is more region specific and he can find job anywhere. I have to admit that I have been stressed out lately because having to find a job etc. I have a professional job and I do not foresee not getting employees. But it is still stressful to move on to the unknown. I called him one day and asked straight forward, if he was planning to propose to me soon. Told him that I would have to think about living arrangement etc. after I finish my residency in 6months. He said he would propose to me before I finish residency, which means in 6months. Then, he asked me what I would do if he says he is not sure I'd he wants to marry me. I just said I would not be happy. The conversation ended in a weird note. I was a little mad at him for being obscure. I felt he has been leading me on but wasn't as serious about our relationship. I went ski trip with him and his friends that weekend but we didn't bring up our conversation. I felt he wasn't as nice or sweet as the usually but didn't think much of it. After that, I have been busy and I was out of town until next Monday. We talked and texted as usual. He made some negative comments that week and I wasn't so happy. I texted him if we were doing anything on V's day and he doesn't celebrate V day. I was pretty cool about it until he made some obnoxious comments later. I called him and said we need to talk later this week. we never had any fights before this. We had our talk last Thursday. He came over and said he doesn't think we are competabe and I never wanted to move to NJ and our goals are so different and said he wants to break up. He also said he had been stressed out because his parents have been pressuring to marry me. I was utterly shocked that he went 180 just after a few days. I did not object and said if he has already made up his mind, I have nothing to say. We didn't have nasty argument partly because I was so shocked that I didn't know what to say. he asked "why did you give me an ultimatum?" I never felt like it was ultimatum. I just wanted to see where we were. But I was upset that he could throw away our relationship that easily and I did not really understand why he should feel pressured if he saw me as his future life partner. Was I too selfish for asking when he will be ready to propose to me? Should I still try to talk to him to see if there was a misunderstanding? It is not my personality to cry over and make a scene. But I am very confused. Link to comment
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