Harik Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 So I have a complicated ex-story - I dated this guy in college and a little after for five years - his parents were a little frosty and mine were livid initially but we were a happy couple. I left the country and we broke up - it was not at all a bad break-up - upsetting but not insane and vastly mitigated because I was out of the country. His parents however became very good friends of mine after a while because they hated his subsequent girlfriends. When I got laid off from work last year I stayed with them for some interviews in the city. He however at one point said he couldn't meet me because his girlfriend forbade us meeting. I was super-hurt because I needed a friend and even though he eventually met me I am sure it was because his parents made him. The fact is the best job offer I had was in New York - it was twice the offer I got in London where the taxes are high. The only reason I was debating was because of the drama of being in the same city as him. I was extremely mature about things though and stayed in a serviced apartment even though his parents offered to have me stay with them. I met him and spoke nicely though I drew the line at discussing his love life - he had broken up with his girlfriend and was going through women like it was going out of style. I am a human being - I don't need my ex's love life paraded before me and once when he made a crude comment undermining my intelligence and my new job I decided I'd had enough and cooled things off with him. It was very difficult because he is my only friend in the city and I just decided to pay for handymen etc and even when my grandfather died I just bore it all alone rather than going to him for help. Then his dad invited me to his mom's surprise birthday party and I went - it was very awkward as there wasn't a place setting for me and I just felt that there were a lot of people from his parent's social life who remembered me and were wondering about my presence there. I wanted to just give her my present and leave - I hurt my knee rushing to the damn party. He made me stay and made me sit next to him and was superlatively nice at the party and walked me home. I relented and showed him my new apartment and he was great - fixing a few things here and there as only he could - with an off-kilter sense of humour and then he told me I was so attractive and he couldn't resist me. People please don't judge me - he was my first love and I was so vulnerable and we hooked up -it was great and I was just craving human contact in this city. We didn't discuss anything and the next day he just sent a text asking how my knee was. I made a small joke and then heard nothing back. The next day his dad wrote to the both of us asking us to communicate and pick up flowers from his parents' apartment as they were out of town - I called him and we didn't discuss anything but I decided to change the water and leave the flowers in the apartment and he was vague about helping etc. Here's the thing - I recognised that things were weird and then asked him to call me and he didn't. I have been disappointed by more men than I care to recall but this hurts so much more as it just means he views me as another piece of meat. I am so angry with him - he is compromising the memory of our great relationship! He can just avoid hurting me and I am even more confused about my own behaviour - I have evolved into a different person - I felt sure that I didn't want him any more - I needed his help but I just didn't want him in the same way and have just lost any semblance of control. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.