miracle29 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I read an article about the signs of abuse that arent obvious. Ive been going through this over a year. Thats a lot of time for someone to tear you down. I tred to once again voice my concerns to him and as usual he twisted it and i got dumped (again). He accused me of playing "games" when after reading that article its him whos playing. He likes the power of making me feel low so he can feel high. It also speaks on multiple victimizations. I was abused as a kid too. I may need yrs of therapy. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 Its crazy to me how I can see all of your posts and know without a doubt that some of u have abusive partners and need to leave, but I chose to be in denial and be blind and stay in my own. I have been so hurt by him and than blamed for his abuse. Its sick and I need to heal and stay away. he is deceptive. Even his own handwriting shows a person who lies and speaks with forked tongue. And he did nothing but lie and manipulate and he enjoyed it...my tears made him happy. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 What scares me the most is the Multiple-Victimizations. I dont want to repeat the same heartbreaks over and over. He really is twisted. One moment I was told I was sweating him and calling too much so I stopped. The moment I stopped he told me I was acting different like I didnt care about him or where he went! How corrupted is that? So no matter what I did if I stayed with him I would always have been thinking or saying or doing something wrong! Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Miracle, You are not alone. There are people all over the world who have been and are going through what you have. People who have been convinced by abusive partners that they are the problem. You have started to open your eyes. This is huge progress. There are steps you can take to prevent this from happening to you in the future. Such as going to therapy and creating a "deal breaker" list. List out behaviors you will not accept in a relationship. And be totally honest with yourself when you meet someone about their behavior. Also, stay out of relationships for a LOOONG time. Work on your self and building your self-esteem. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 Why does it hurt this much? i relaize he is a predator but it still hurts badly. i feel awful today. i havent talked top him or heard from him since yest afternoon. im also on my period today so im feeling more emotional than ususal. i dont wanna eat or anything. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 It hurts because 1) You have been the victim of brainwashing. He has convinced you of certain things and its going to take some time for you brain to completely turn around from all you have been through 2) You are missing the person you thought he was. Give it time. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 why did he keep telling me he loved me with all his heart than literally every 10 days dumped me when hes angry. was it possible it was me and I made him so angry? Did i not love him right? Maybe if I had just kept my mouth closed or bit my tongue he would have felt less reason to be aggressive. If i had cooked more and been more affectionate and more understanding. Maybe if i had not fought back. he told me i didnt know how to keep a man. Maybe i wasnt good enough so he left over and over again. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 No, miracle, nothing you did or did not do could have changed his behavior. You are his punching bag, whatever is going wrong in his life he can take out on you. Love is a verb. Any asshate can say "I love you." but how many can love you and show they love you in good times and bad? Love is not keeping you mouth shut and being afraid, love is being able to trust your partner, tell them exactly what is on your mind, and have them respond in a manner that shows dignity and respect. He is not a man. He is a coward who has to take his emotions out on you to feel better about himself. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 Its just being single again after investing my heart and soul into this. I feel like my life is all suffering. i cry a lot and I feel alone here. ive been through pysical abuse with another and infidelity with one now this one is another abuse. i was abused physically and emotionally by my own Father. I dont wanna be the woman who is a multiple victim. i now have my own child and i dont want her to suffer like me. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Miracle, you can break the cycle you have found yourself in! Step one is not going back to this guy. Second, get into therapy. The therapist can tell you want you need to do to make sure you and your child are safe, happy, and healthy. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted February 25, 2012 Author Share Posted February 25, 2012 Everytime i try to leave I am alone here with no support soI feel alone and he gets me right back. I do love him though too so that does not help. His attitude is nasty. He says it s because he triggers off of my mood. So now i'm responsible for both of us in this relationship. wow! Idon't even know why i'm still posting on this crap. I must be relationship mentally ill. seriously. I can't think of what else it could be. Link to comment
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