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I screwed up BIG time. HELP!


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You can read my other posts for more detail on the BU.

my ex and I have been broken up for a month now we had two weeks of NC and then limited contact. Post break up we slept together twice one of the times being after the two weeks of NC. I feel like I have been healing and less feeling like my goal is to get him back because it just seems to much of a reach at this point in time. The last time he came over and we slept together was him seeing how much my life had changed for the better and he seemed impressed and then showed a lot of interest and was the one working to get me to respond to his efforts. Obviously I gave in and he spent the night,which wasnt supposed to happen but did and he initiated everything even with my hesitation and then even kissed me goodbye. Everything after that was casual with us like when we ran into eachother on campus, hug and small talk and then we went on our ways. Well we had planned to hang out the other night but he ended up getting to drunk with his fraternity brothers to be able to drive to my place, he texted me the whole time. the next day we planned to hang out the following day...plans didnt go through I texted him to ask if what time and then he said he didnt know and that he was going to austin for the night. I responded just saying:

it was a yes or no question and then he just said

"im really sorry" I was a little impaired by then and replied "Its ok its not like were really "friends" I just wanted to and figured that would be ok by you"...unfortunately that vulgar...

he replied "I know but I just dont think we should be having sex like this right now"

We ended up texting for awhile and he ended up concluding that he jjust felt like it would be a bad idea and could bring up too many emotions. I think this was his response since the last time we had sex he seemed really different and it was after the NC he was acting like it was back when we were totally in love and I could see it in the way he looked at me which had been different from the first time we slept together immediately post break up where it had just been purely physical. It weired me out a little bit but i never knew how he felt about it. So during that texting conversation i asked if he thought it was a bad idea because he got freaked out about the last time and he responded "haha no not at all" I just left it at what it was. I think hes afraid that if we kept sleeping together that it couldnt be just physical and would turn into something more and we just couldnt be like that "right now", since after all thats how we got together in the first place, causal sex that after a couple of months led to us dating for a year and a half.

what should I do ?? I know i need to move on especially since my sorority formal is next month and need to focus my efforts on a new date, but at some point I do want him back.

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You really shouldn't be sleeping with him. He's getting the physical benefit and you're getting emotionally distraught. Just remember that guys can have sex without having emotions attached to it, even if you did have a past. I would never allow someone to have just that part of me. You definitely should get a new date for your formal, get your hair and nails done, find a gorgeous dress and have a blast! It will do wonders for your self esteem.

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yeah I understand that, I think the problem is that I compartmentalize how I feel making the casual sex the part that doesnt bother me and he knows that since he was the one who got attached the first time with that behavior. I think I ended up offending him by saying it wouldnt be anything more to me than just that since I was his first everything and he took that kind of seriously.

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