What should I do?

[wtm78]

Fought with gf. Was at her house on the couch. Then she came over so I reach over to hug her but she sat on my hard hard. Having an injured shoulder the awkward position almost pop my shoulder. So I let out in pain. She got angry and scolded me. Saying that I scolded her in front of her father. That made me angry and we started our squabble and she twisted my finger to make me stop so that her father can't heard. Then I ouch it hurts and she got angry and gave me the silent treatment. After a hard days work and having to get into a petty stupid argument, and feeling abuse and disrespected in front of her dad. I stood up and said I'm not here to see you throw tantrum, i will go back first. Turned to the father and said I make a move first. And I left. For the next few days, she didn't contact me. I also didn't contact her. Few days later she text me saying can we stop this? I was still very angry that she twisted my finger hurting me and scolded me in front of the father. So I said. Until you are ready to apologize. She replied sorry. Not knowing if she really sorry or giving the sorry whatever attitude again. I didn't reply her. Next day, she text me happy valentine day grumpy love. I was still angry and I dont know if she really know that what happen really affected me. I said again. Until u ready to admit and apologize. Now he got angry and quarrel. So I told her I really needed to know if she is serious about the relationship or she is being a bully. I insist that I really needed her to apologies. Then she say. Fine. I'm sorry. She don't want to quarrel petty stuff with me when she wanted to be with me. I felt so much better. But I was in a meeting. So I didn't reply her. Few hours later she text me a question mark. I reply I'm in meeting. After meeting I text and ask her what's up. She say nevermind. I ask her why she text me a question mark. She say because she ask me a question I didn't reply. I said I don't know what question is it. She say nevermind. Forget that she ever said anything. I was pretty upset and I said I'm not going to quarrel with her over petty things like this. When I reach home. I text her telling her that I really need her to know that I'm hurt by her scolding me in front of her dad and twisting my finger etc. so I said that if I'm important to her enough she has to know that n apologize. If not then she can return me my credit cards. Then she replied that she will return me my cards and all my stuff. The next day she text me. Ask me to collect my stuff at her place. I went to her place 2 days ago and she passed my stuff back. *

 

It's a stupid breakup out of petty issues. But perhaps it's so many petty issues that accumulated making it a big issue at that moment. Perhaps now my emotions are getting the better of me. I'm missing her terribly. What do I do?

[amrynth]

Whoa...not petty issues. Truth...as I always say will upset you first..but set you free. She made you hurt uncomfortably and did not care when you reacted in pain. (In my opinion..not cool nor caring). You asked her to apologize a few times..she apologized. You did not feel it was genuine and so now you're still holding a grudge wanting something that she's not going to give you because if she was going to give it to you the way you wanted..it would have happened by now but didn't.

 

I don't know her...but I do know women because I am one..so quoting you "Then she say. Fine. I'm sorry. She don't want to quarrel petty stuff with me when she wanted to be with me. I felt so much better. But I was in a meeting. So I didn't reply her. Few hours later she text me a question mark. I reply I'm in meeting. After meeting I text and ask her what's up. She say nevermind. I ask her why she text me a question mark. She say because she ask me a question I didn't reply. I said I don't know what question is it. She say nevermind. Forget that she ever said anything. I was pretty upset and I said I'm not going to quarrel with her over petty things like this."

 

Situation.....she responded to you telling you she didn't want to quarrel about petty things and wanted to be with you..you didn't respond. To most guys....that would be a statement..to us girls..if we say that...we want you to reply "good I want to be with you too and I understand what you're saying"...however...you're a guy..she has to remember that..and she's a girl...you have to remember that...continuing on...that's why she said "nevermind...forget I said anything"..but then you claimed the "maturity" seat by saying "I'm not going to quarrel over petty issues like this..so truth is..if you were really so happy over what she said..why did you still bring up the finger thing? Why? Because it upset you and obviously it's not petty. And don't feel bad. We ALL have a tendency when we care to try to minimize things to keep the peace..but truth is...sometimes things can't be minimized..hence truth comes in. Don't know if I'm helping nor making sense...but the both of you are different in your thought processes and both stubborn. If you love her....and want to be with her and can accept her "shallow" apology..then fine. Have at it. BUT...if you truly can't and need someone more genuine who isn't giving you lip service...then fill your boots. That's just an outsiders point of view. Either or..you've every right to feel the way you did and sorry she did not genuinely empathize with your feelings.

[wtm78]

I wanted her to apologize to me face to face. Then I will know if she really meant it

[Circe]

I don't think this sounds petty at all. My suggestions for you would be:

 

1. Break up with her as the two of you don't respect each other (she wouldn't physically hurt you if she did and you wouldn't yell at her in front of her dad - it sounds like you were doing more than just calling out in pain - sounds like you yelled at her for what was obviously an accident).

 

2. With the next girl - communicate better. There shouldnt be days of silence followed by griping over text messages after an argument.

 

3. Don't give a girlfriend your credit cards. What kind of message are you sending? "You're entitled to do what you want with my funds"? "I'm here to satisfy your spending needs"..? I don't get it. I don't think it leads to appreciation and respect towards you at all - I think it leads to the opposite.

 

4. If respect is missing in the relationship, end it because it won't last. Lack of admiration/respect for your partner is one of the biggest predictors of a relationship failing.

[RedDress]

I wanted her to apologize to me face to face. Then I will know if she really meant it

 

 

Now you want it face to face? If this is what it was going to take - why make her apologize 5 times and still not be happy?

 

I'm not saying she's not wrong for her actions... but I think you are being unreasonable and unfair in your response. You are milking it now and trying to make her beg...

[wtm78]

i didnt make her beg or apologize 5 times. just needed once face to face from the beginning.

 

i had to beg to see her outside her doorstep and she still refuse to see me and ask me to go home even when it was rainning in the middle of the night... even when i was not in the wrong..

 

i just wanted her to apologise to me once face to face.. so i know i am not the only one that is trying so hard.. is that unreasonable?

 

Now you want it face to face? If this is what it was going to take - why make her apologize 5 times and still not be happy?

 

I'm not saying she's not wrong for her actions... but I think you are being unreasonable and unfair in your response. You are milking it now and trying to make her beg...