lolgirl Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Hello all. Just needed to vent. It's been a little over a month since my ex bf broke up with me after a 2.5 year relationship. We were talking about settling down together, buying a house, etc. I lived with him, and when he broke up with me, in a matter of days, I moved out, found my own place, and pretty much went NC with him. The few times I did have to contact him to get my things, he would practically have a breakdown on the phone and usually ended up with him crying. I'm not really sure why, since he's the one who broke up with me... Towards the end just prior to the BU, we were having a lot of trust issues, which were also tied to his commitment-phobia. About 2 weeks ago, I sent him a goodbye letter, saying I am moving on, and do no ever contact me again..and I meant it. Six weeks later, I am doing ok, although I think I could be better. I think about him less and less in frequency. To be honest with you, I don't even remember the good times anymore. The urges to contact him are less and less (although I thought I was going to relapse on v-day because I felt like yelling at him, but I stayed strong and stayed NC My sadness and tears have turns into anger and resentment. I can't even stand the thought of him anymore. I miss what we had prior to all of our issues, but I think less and less of the good times and think more and more of our bad times. Like, all the times he wanted a "break", when he was actually going out on dates with girls...the time he took me engagement ring shopping, then said he was only doing that to "test" himself and he realized he's not ready for a commitment...the time I found naked cell phone pictures of girls on his computer, which he admitted to receiving while we were together...the time I found out one of his female friends professed her feelings to him and he continued to talk to her, when he told me he wouldn't...I mean, the list of things go on and on. I don't see him as the man I loved anymore. I see him as an unworthy, pathetic, lost little loser. Maybe this resentment stage is normal in the stages of a breakup, I am not sure. I can say it feels better than the sadness and emptiness I felt in my heart before. I know I'll get over this stage, but it will be awhile. At least the resentment is keeping me from contacting him EVER AGAIN. The thought that I even took him back two times before after we broke up makes me want to vomit. I should have been stronger and walked away. There are times when the anger in my heart is so intense, I can barely tolerate it. I sure hope this stage passes soon... Anyways, that's all, thanks for listening. Stay strong, everyone! Link to comment
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