Ex is likely to get fired from our company - should I do anything?

[yourfaceinmanila]

Brief history: ex and I went out for a year, it was very passionate but compltely unstable. She was mentally ill, manipulative and abusive. I didn't see it for what it was until the very end when we broke up. Went NC straight away (4 months ago) and apart from her cornering me outside a pub and at my own house back in November, it has stayed that way. I haven't seen her in the flesh at parties or social events for 9 weeks now. We work at the same company but in different departments on different floors that never crossover.

 

I have known for a while that there were problems in her department that meant it might be closed down; that announcement came today. I don't know whether she will be made redundant or moved into another department - but I do have some sort of power over the decision. My housemate is high ranking at the company and able to say "I want that person" or "that person is good at X" and people will listen.

 

On one hand, if she's fired she'll likely move away and I won't have to worry about seeing her ever again.

 

On the other hand, I don't want her to be unhappy. She likes her job. I could talk to my housemate and my ex will stay. But I also have this weird fantasy scenario in my head, where it's made clear that she still has job because of ME. Kind of a power trip. It's confusing.

 

I guess my question is: do I just leave this to play out? Or do I extend my influence and do a good deed, ensure she keeps her job, even though it might come back to bite me?

[bananashake]

let it play out. stay out of it.

[Yeul]

Leave this to play out. It's a "look what I did for you!" thing. You can convince yourself that it's because you want to do something nice for her, but that isn't the case...

[SarahRose]

I would help out but only if you can keep quiet about it. You can be like those kind anonymous donors that everyone loves but nobody knows who they are. Do it as a good deed for a fellow human.

[HeartGoesOn]

Stay out of it, and be careful what you wish for...

[pl3asehelp]

Doesn't sound like you want to do a good deed - it sounds like you're considering doing something because you're hoping it will have a side effect of making you look good in her eyes. I think it's the intention that matters. If her department is being shut down, even if you were able to keep her from being fired, her job would surely be completely different, right? That pretty much nullifies the 'she likes her job' reason for approaching your housemate to ask for help saving her from getting fired, right?

[yourfaceinmanila]

Thanks for taking the time reply to me

 

You guys are right. About 80% of me wants to help out someone I once cared for. The other 20% of me thinks I'll be able to use this down the line to somehow prove I'm better than her, able to put what happened aside and do the right thing. Of course in thinking about it that way it's tainted doing the right thing.

 

The job would be the same, just on a different product our company makes. It would be the same hours, the same people, the same work, just to a different end. I guess if she's good enough, she'll get reassigned and not fired. More often than not people are kept in because those in power like them, so too bad that a lot of people don't like her. It's best I stay out of this - after all, if I was in a higher position and directly got to choose who stayed and who went, I wouldn't be ethically able to make the decision about my ex and someone else would have to do it.