Flywest29 Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Well I am back again, with the same problems with the same woman. Yes I know its my fault and I am a fool, I am addicted too this woman and its horrible. Well she ripped my heart out again, on Valentine's day. Quick background: We have an age gap me 31 and her 41. We long distance but work at the same company just different cities. We have been "seeing" each other for over a year. She left me last June for someone else, and did it by text, would not talk to me on the phone. Told me she didn't love me and loved him and left. I went No contact and so came the summer of hell. I was a wreck, I was depressed, drinking heavily and treating myself poorly. Finally after 2 months I was starting to feel better, and guess who comes back around? Reluctantly I said I would see her, between September and now its been a roller coaster. She gets mad at me for the craziest things, and doesn't ever give me an explanation. Just shuts down ignores me, wont talk to me, on the phone, nothing. We have extreme highs and lows. She would call me names, say horrible things to me but I loved her and always tried to fight for her and get her back (I know I am a fool). This has been going on since September. The last 2 weeks she has been mad at me for stupid things. I was at an NBA game and she texted and asked if she could call me. I said I am at the baketball game it'll be hard to hear you. She just texted back "haha" and then ignored me for 2 days, no reponse to calls, texts, emails, nothing. Finally after me pleading with her things were good. So I asked her to spend the night with me the following week as she would be in town, she said she couldn't. I asked her is she was sure she said yes. So I made plans that night to go to an NHL game. That day rolls around and she texts asking what I am doing and i said I am going to the hockey game. She flipped out saying I never had any intention to see her and that it was just a lie. I was * * * ? I asked her 3 times earlier and she said she couldn't. So again she goes into shutdown mode, doesn't take my calls, texts, emails, etc. Finally again after 2 days of me pleading again she comes around and tells me she loves me and asks me if I want to be with her and I say yes. Things were going well. So this past weekend we were both working in the same city and our paths would cross a few times (we are in the airline business). So Friday night I have a window of about 20 minutes to see her, and I run from one end of the terminal to the next to see her looking like an idiot. I was running late but I just wanted to see her for 5 minutes. We meet up and kiss and tell each other we love each other and go our separate ways. Monday night same thing, I am running to see her just for 5 minutes before she leaves to go back home. Also I had invited her to stay the night and she couldn't cause she only had one day off and had her kids. So I see her at her gate and I just had a vibe something was off. And I asked her to her face, "if you don't want to talk to me or do this anymore you don't have to, just tell me now and I'll walk away" She says "no baby, I want to be with you and talk to you" She kisses me and tells me she loves me and boards the plane. I go home and get a text late that night from her (got when I woke up) saying "Oh so you are mad at me, its probably better that way" * * * ? Then another one saying "I don't even know you S how can you meet my kids" again * * * ? We have known each other for 2 years and she knows more about me than anyone. I have shared so much personal secrets with her and she says that. I respond back and tell her I am not mad and that I love her and want to be a part of her life. And I wished her a happy valentines day. I get a text later saying she just woke up and thats about it, nothing about what I said about her or happy valentines day. So I leave it be, then she is ignoring me again. So I ask her if she still wants to talk to me? She says "I don't know anymore". Again * * * ? I ask her what is going on and she ignores me for 3 hours and finally tells me she doesn't love me. Again won't talk to me on the phone, just a bunch of BS texts. I am hurt and angry cause I gave her the out the night before, she lied to my face and told me she loved me and wanted to be with me. She could have said no then and walked on the plane and there would be nothing I could do but turn and walk away. She waited to get home and for me to figure it out and beg her (again) to tell me what the hell is going on. She told me she doesn't love me or want to be with me, she doesn't feel it, etc, etc. I am devastated and drink my face off last night, trying to scrape my heart off the floor again over this woman. Today I begged, pleaded, said nasty mean things, calling her a coward for not breaking up with me face to face or even on the phone. 2 years i have known her and all I get is texts and ignored. I feel awful I have tried over and over and over again to make it work with her. All she ever does is break my heart over and over. I know this is my fault too, I mean I haven't learned my lesson yet. I have been torturing myself for almost 2 years over her. I get depressed and feel like such a fool for running to see her for 5 minutes but it made me so happy to see her for those few minutes and the whole time she is thinking "get outta here loser". I feel so low and pathetic right now trying to make it work with someone who doesn't even feel any remorse or care about how she treats me. And not to mention it was Valentines Day. I know people will tell me it is my fault for putting up with it and trying to make it work with her. I just really love her and I know I am addicted to her love, when its good its amazing when its low I feel worthless. I am doing my best to get past this but this hurts so much. Less than 48 hours ago she was kissing me telling me she loved me. It was all a lie..... Link to comment
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