Freaking Out

[nastrow]

So I have a problem talking to this girl. Whenever I see her walking through campus I want to talk to her, but as soon as I see her I freak out. It's annoying because I only get super nervous when I think I'm going to have the chance to talk to her. The worst when I see we are going to walk past each other. As soon as I see her walking towards me, I basically panic. It's crazy. It's like I recognize her, and my brain just jumps ship. I'm know I'm somewhat socially anxious, but I can still reasonably talk to attractive girls and girls I know. What's annoying is I really want to talk to this girl (in real life, I hate facebook chatting/texting people I don't know well) but when I get this nervous I don't want to even say "hi" because I'll sound like an idiot. I mean it's basically like a 15 second panic attack, except probably not nearly as bad. Still, I've never been this nervous before. I've talked to her before and usually say hello when I see her, but the nerves just seem to be getting worse. I know this will get better if I talk to her more, but right now I just freak out if we cross paths. I actually feel less nervous if she just suprises me, because I don't have time to freak out. How do I stay relaxed? Thanks in advance.

[Tranquillo]

Do you have any classes with her?

Where have you talked to her before?

 

If you have already talked to her before, then you know you can do it. You're feeling freaked out because you are over analyzing the situtaion.

Stop thinking about the freaking out and take deep breaths when you see her crossing your path, stay relaxed and conversation will come easily.

 

Remember, you've talked to her before and you got through it, you can do it again.

[nastrow]

@Tranquillo - I have a class with her but I don't sit with her. I've said "hi" to her when I've seen her, and I've talked to her in and out of class.

[Tranquillo]

Ok, it should make it more easier than if you do have classes with her because then you both have something in common to talk about.

Try sitting closer to her?

[nastrow]

Maybe I'm just being negative, but I hate talking about class (I think of it as work or the weather) but anyways I don't really need conversation topics. Also I don't want to randomly just sit closer to her. Thanks. I'm probably just being negative. The problem with calming myself down is that I don't have time. When I see her I have less than 10 seconds til I walk past her. I need to keep from panicking in the first place.

[Tranquillo]

You're somewhat socially anxious - right now I don't think you should worry about what you like/hate talking about - any topic of convo would do, just to get comfortable with the idea of talking to her (yes even if it's about the weather or class). Being in the same class as her, being near her, in her presence.... should make you feel comfortable over time (thats why I asked if she's in same class), this way - when you happen to see her walking towards you - it would be something that is normal and you won't freak out so much.

[nastrow]

Ok thanks but 1 other thing. I just recently realized that I pass her on the way to the class we have together (I walk faster b/c I'm taller lol), but I can't think of a way start a conversation when I pass her. Lol I just pretended I didn't know it was her when it happened. For whatever reason it seems really weird to talk to someone like that, just walking up from behind them. I actually don't think I've ever been in that situation. I'd probably say what's up hows your week/day going or whatever but the whole situation just seems weird. Do I pretend I didn't know it was her or what? Just weird. Thanks.

[Tranquillo]

Hmm yeh I see what you mean.

You can always try walking a bit slower.. this way you would have more time to prepare yourself and get your senses together before reaching up to her, but instead of walking pass her - match her walk and try to walk side by side. And smile, say 'Hi', she should then respond back, and because you havent gone pass her and you both are walking at the same pace... it gives you both more time to make convo until you reach the class. That would be normal and not awkward/weird at all.

 

Also, can you whistle? Or do your shoes/trainers make a sound? Odd question, but if you make some sort of a noise when you are behind her, she will then sense that you are there, this way it won't creep her out or make her jump when you reach her and are walkign with her towards class.

[Tranquillo]

And as for pretending to not know her... thats a bit tough.

If are feeling a bit more adventurous (and you should be doing all you can to make sure this girl who you like notices you) ..you can sort of say 'Hey...whats up,' from afar before you have reached her, this way she will know you have recognised her (hopefully by now she knows you're in the same class), she will turn back to say hi, will wait until you have reached her.. and then will together to class.