Help - Girlfriend's strict parents are killing me!

[chessy]

EDIT:

 

I had written something much longer before, but I've realized all I need answered for me are the following simple questions:

 

1. I'm 18 years old, dating a 17 year old girlfriend for nearly 7 months and are deeply in love. Would it be ok/normal for us to have sex regularly?

 

2. My girlfriend's parents are very strict and don't allow us to do much alone, they found out we've been going upstairs to my room and have since banned my girl from coming over. They say it doesn't matter if the door is open or closed, she can't go up there period. Isn't that a little over-the-top? I mean, if the door is open we couldn't possibly have sex, they honestly think we'd do that for anyone to see?

 

3. What's so bad about sex anyway? It's a normal part of the relationship.

 

The good part is when she turns 18 in December all bets are off and we're going to be able to do whatever we want.

[The_Seeker]

Sounds like you're dating an Asian girl or something.

 

First of all, she has school. I would do the same thing if I had a daughter.

 

Second of all, weekend I can understand. They're just caring about her. Teen pregnancy? Are you going to be there for her when she gets that? Yea i know she is on bc and you're on condom. Anything can happen.

 

Third of all, you don't have a daughter yet to understand what goes through a parents' brain.

 

Fourth of all, chillax. There is still a relationship.

[chessy]

We talked about the pregnancy thing, obviously there's minimal risk but if something happened I'd absolutely stick by her side. I despise the thought of leaving a girl like that, it's the cheap way out and I don't think real men do things like that.

 

Anyway, thanks for the quick reply bud

[OptomisticGirl]

Okay, I'm going to TRY not to sound condenscending in my reply, honestly:

 

They are her parents. Doesn't matter if they said you couldn't see her except when she was on the moon, you have to obey it. Why? Because they are her parents. They were there before you and will be there after you. Your an 18 year old guy - I was a 18 year old girl and I clearly remember which head boys thought with back then. You won't her to have freedoms to see you but then you go behind her parents back and break one of their rules - what do you expect but for htem to reign her in tighter? Fine, all teenagers have sex - but before her parents will respect YOU, you must respect THEM and the choices they make for their daughter. Because until she is 18, she is THEIR responsibility, not yours.

[Moontiger]

Look, she us underage and there for her parents have ever right to place whatever rules they want. You must respect her parents or you will be creating enemies you don't want. At 18, you have no clue how hard it would be for you if she got pregnant, aside from the emotional, financial, and relationship cost her parents will say, "See! We were right all along."

 

Save yourself the trouble and just be respectful and wait until she is a legal adult to take things further. At this age, it is unlikely you two will be together forever but you can make a positive experience out this for both of you.

[chitown9]

Actually, first of all she is under 18 years old. Is that considered a minor in your state? If it is, then you are defined as an adult and she is defined as a minor. This means you, as an adult, are having sex with a minor. Do you see anything wrong with that picture? I really think that you need to look at the legal ramifications of what you are doing instead of focusing on how to do more of it. Your girlfriends parents have every right to be concerned about what you are doing. Does her father own a shotgun? ..chi

[OptomisticGirl]

Actually, first of all she is under 18 years old. Is that considered a minor in your state? If it is, then you are defined as an adult and she is defined as a minor. This means you, as an adult, are having sex with a minor. Do you see anything wrong with that picture? I really think that you need to look at the legal ramifications of what you are doing instead of focusing on how to do more of it. Your girlfriends parents have every right to be concerned about what you are doing. Does her father own a shotgun? ..chi

 

Most states have the age of consent as 16 Chit.

[chessy]

It is legal for an 18 year old/17 year old to go at it in my state

 

I realize I sound like an * * * * * * * , and I edited the post for more clarity (and less words), I've just always liked the idea of having some form of privacy in my relationships, but I guess that's the consequence of dating someone young.

[chitown9]

Most states have the age of consent as 16 Chit.

 

That is why I asked what state he is in. California is 18, for example. The way his parents are acting is an indication it is 18.

 

Waiting from response from OP.

[OptomisticGirl]

1. okay and normal is subject to the both of you. If it's legal and you both are okay with it, sure.

 

2. It's not over the top. They are her parents and are allowed to set forht whatever rules they see fit - when your a father, you'll understand why.

 

3. It can lead to pregnacy, this is why it's bad when your 18/17 because most 18/17 year olds don't have the first clue in sex education. You seem to see sex as a relaxed thing with no consequences - it's highly not that.

[chessy]

Chi, I live in Florida where A person who is 18-23 can legally have sex with anyone 16 or older.

[chitown9]

What state is it OP? Although it does not really matter. She is under parents' roof; their rules. Does her father own a shotgun? I am serious about this question. chi

[chessy]

Her father doesn't own a shotgun. In fact, her parents love me and despite the whole "going upstairs" incident, they want me to marry their daughter someday.

 

Look, I can accept the no sex rule, but what irks me is we can't even hang out in my room with the door open. It makes no logical sense in my eyes, we WILL NOT get naked for the entire freakin' house to see, come on.

[Capricorn3]

I saw your original thread before you edited it and I have to say I can see why her parents are concerned (rightfully so). She's 17 years old and the risk of pregnancy is high so they have every right to be strict and have rules. Unfortunately you guys have already broken their rules by having sex, so they were right from the very beginning. Also, if their daughter does fall pregnant, THEY (her parents) will end up having to raise the kid because the two of you won't have the means to do so yourself, so even more reason for them to lay down rules and be strict. You say you wouldn't leave her, but the truth of the matter is that the vast majority of young guys head for the hills as soon as they find out their girl is pregnant.

 

If you want to be in their good books, then show them some respect.

[OptomisticGirl]

Her father doesn't own a shotgun. In fact, her parents love me and despite the whole "going upstairs" incident, they want me to marry their daughter someday.

 

Look, I can accept the no sex rule, but what irks me is we can't even hang out in my room with the door open. It makes no logical sense in my eyes, we WILL NOT get naked for the entire freakin' house to see, come on.

 

The wonderful thing is, OP, it doesn't have to make logical sense to YOU. You aren't the parent.