OneQuestion Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Hello, My girlfriend (or "ex" girlfriend at this point) have (had) been dating for almost 3.5 years, and we are both each other's first relationship. She went to England for a summer and met a guy who lives in the same area as us and became close friends. When she came back everything was fine, although she told me that the guy she met kept telling her he had a crush on her. I immediately wanted to tell her to stop hanging out with him, but she does not have very many friends that have similar interests, and I did not want to deny her another, nor did I want to be the boyfriend to tell her not to hang out with people. Boy do I regret that. I went on a road trip with a few friends around the country for three weeks in the winter and saw the country and had a great time. I texted her constantly as we always do. When I got back she told me that she wanted to "take a break"... and wanted to see where a relationship with Mr. England would go. I was heartbroken, I still am. It's only been a few weeks but it feels like months. She never told me anything was wrong, and would not listen to me when I begged her not to do it. The worst part is that I see her reasoning. We are both 22, and have been dating each other since we were 18. She was happy with me, but she wants to see what else the world has before settling down. She didn't want to miss out on the experience of dating, and doesn't want me to either. I, on the other hand, am fine not knowing. I know I love her and want to be with her forever. Our families know each other, my baby cousins are infatuated with her, my grand parents make me bring her every time I come to visit. We have a good relationship. We fight sometimes, but never seriously and never holding a grudge, we were physically intimate and happy. I don't know what to think. She says it's a break, and hasn't gone to "single" on facebook, but immediately started dating the guy after telling me, and went on a few "dates" while I was away. She didn't cheat, and the dates were just dinner and a movie, but still... I feel a little betrayed. I trusted her to have a close male friend and she decided to see where it goes. Again, she says that it's a break and I hope that it is, and that we will see where we are at in six months. She mentioned that it might turn out to be nothing, but I'm not sure that wasn't just something to comfort me. The guy moves about 1000 miles away around the same time, but I am worried she will still try to persue a relationship. Some people tell me to forget her because she did this. I don't agree. Sure, it's hard, but we are both young and she wants to see what dating has to offer. I am willing to let it pass, as a kind of "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" kind of thing. The "taking a break" conversation spanned multiple days where we both cried almost endlessly. She has since become pretty resistant hanging out and her texts and very short and maintaining a conversation is impossible. I personally feel like she is doing that because she will have a harder time doing this if she sees me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to date anybody, because I could never care for them enough and, come six months, I will dump them without a doubt. I love her and I will wait for her. I've since started a journal and spend a lot of time with friends and exercising, but nights are hard and I usually have to go to sleep early otherwise I break down. Should I give her space? I am of a split mind on this. Obviously, she needs space, but I worry that if I give her too much space she will stop loving me, and she will not come back to me, but if I give her space she might also miss me. Now, if I don't give her space, she might get annyoed and I will hurt the situation. It could also help. Today is espeically hard for me, as I usually spoil her quite a bit on valentines day, but I resolved not to talk to her at all and let her have her space. I am in love, and not a standard 22 year old love. I can't imagine anything else that matters more to me than her. I would quit my job and drop out of school and move into a shack in the mountains with her if she wanted. That actually sounds really nice. What is the best course of action I can take to get her back? My current plan is to give her space and come spring / summer offer to do things with her that she enjoys that the other guy can't offer. She loves the outdoors and the guy she is seeing now isn't very athletic. She has a huge thing for motorcycles, and I have one... he doesn't. These all sound like petty things, but I need a way to get her to come back. Does this sound like a recoverable situation? Can anyone shed some light? Thanks for reading. Link to comment
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