I can't stand feeling like this anymore

[rebellefleur]

I feel so absolutely broken and hopeless. I really can't deal with feeling like this anymore. I try so hard to keep my mind off things, to do things for myself, but none of it works- and i swear every time i hear the phrase "time heals all" i want to punch someone in the face! Time is doing absolutely nothing for me! I feel so upset, i'm so depressed, i just want to sleep all of the time, and i miss him SO MUCH it's unbearable. I hate living a life like this! It doesn't even feel like i'm living! I feel like i have to pull through each day just to make it through. I'm 23 years old, i shouldn't be feeling like this! I feel like i'm alive, but not really living- if that makes sense. I'm just so broken, i really am. I'm so fed up with crying and hoping and going through this. And on top of it, this NC is awful.

 

And the thing that gets to me the most is, i could miss someone so much and essentially mean nothing to them, and they can carry on their lives like normal. I just can't stand feeling like this, i feel like i'm stuck being someone i don't want to be and living a life i don't want to live, but i can't get out of it because it's what i feel and it hurts!

[midnightdeirdre]

How long ago was the breakup?

[rebellefleur]

It was 5 months ago, but a lot happened in between. I let him back in my life and pretty recently too, hoping for reconciliation but i was essentially just led on. So i'd say i haven't really focused on healing until the past couple of weeks. I feel ashamed that it took me this long to get my crap together.

[loulou37]

It was 5 months ago, but a lot happened in between. I let him back in my life and pretty recently too, hoping for reconciliation but i was essentially just led on. So i'd say i haven't really focused on healing until the past couple of weeks. I feel ashamed that it took me this long to get my crap together.

 

Well it's not that it's took you so long to get your crap together, it's that your ex was a total a**hole and lured you back in, then he dropped you from a higher height than before!! no wonder you feel like crap hun..

 

I know all you hear is time heals (don't punch me!! lol) but it is true..

 

loulou x

[Sara1970]

It will get better, with time... runs away!

 

 

Oh Rebel, I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough time with this, hon.

There is nothing that any of us can say that will make it any easier.

 

I just hope that knowing you are not alone in feeling this way is a comfort.

We are all going through this with you.

 

Keep doing what you are doing and you will find your way.

x

[midnightdeirdre]

I let him back in my life and pretty recently too, hoping for reconciliation but i was essentially just led on.

 

Why did you do this?

[johnLA]

People leave our lives to make room for better people. You will find someone much better, but you cannot do that if you are living in the past. I know how it feels. He/she is happy without you and you are miserable without them. I am still trying to heal, but I know I will find someone better. Someone who will never leave me because they realize how amazing I am. I am sure you are just as amazing.

[xcrunner]

Life will replace the void with something better for you.

 

The alternative is opening up the wound over and over again by contacting him or responding to any breadcrumbs he may send your way. Nothing will come of that route but more (and worse) pain. Separate yourself from a toxic situation.

 

You can do this.

[FreeFallFeelin]

Rebell, from your first ever post.... "I'm just so hurt and it's killing me. I was just so fed up with being someone he thought I would be there no matter how many times he left out of anger. I realized i hurt him, but he's making me feel like i did something incredibly unforgiveable. He keeps telling me he doesn't know if we'll continue this because he doesn't know if he can forgive me. He keeps saying he needs time."

 

I know you feel terrible right now, and you're going to continue to feel terrible for a while longer. But consider this; if you did get back with your ex that you miss so much right now, you most certainly end up right back where your first post started. Indeed is sounds like you've been through this break up/get back together cycle several times with this boy. I'm telling you this as someone who understands your pain - you need to stop it right now! If you burn your hand on a hot stove, you don't go back and try it again do you? No. Same reasoning here. You know that your ex RS was toxic, and that your ex doesn't even want to continue on with it, so it's time for you to pull your hand off that burning hot stove! I know that's tough talk, but getting tough and staying strong is how you ARE going to get out of this. It is a fight. Life is a fight. It's not your fault that your heart got broken. But it is your fault if you keep going back and sticking your hand on a hot stove.

 

Time to work on accepting the facts and realize that you my dear, are much much bigger than your failed relationship. And, you're young! You have so much time to figure out who you are, find new love, explore life. I promise you, in time (there's that word again) this amazing thing we call life will overtake any memories of the ex who really, honestly, doesn't sound like he was anything great.

[midnightdeirdre]

And the thing that gets to me the most is, i could miss someone so much and essentially mean nothing to them, and they can carry on their lives like normal.

 

Ugh, I know how u feel. I had a bf for 3.5 months in high school ~ what a joke. He adored me at first; then suddenly he'd go so long without calling me. (I cried all the time when we were a "couple" because of that.) When he called me to "breakup" with me in early February of that year it was a huge relief. Long story short, he soon after had a huge crush on this girl named Rosie. (I found this out from her; she was actually a very nice girl.) The following summer (in '02) he would put his arms around her and flirt with her like crazy. I saw her flirt with her the way he did with me when we first got together at the Homecoming Dance. She went to his prom with him (as a friend) in May '03; I recall reading on her blog: "He wouldn't keep his hands off me after telling him I had a boyfriend...what an a**hole." (So you could say the joke was on him in the end, haha!)

 

But guess what? He means nothing to me now. Time did, essentially, heal that wound. I know it's easier said than done (hey, most things are!) but if you keep moving on and telling yourself that you're better than your ex & someone better is out there, it will come true.

[dumPI]

Start reading what to say to yourself to help healing.

 

 

[OldSoul86]

Rebell sometimes things in life come apart so better things can come together. I know that you are not thinking this way right now, but please trust us, you WILL get there one day. You need to be kind to yourself. Stop sticking your hand in the fire, you know it burns, so why do you keep going back to it? We can tell you until we're blue in the face, but you know what? You need to realize for yourself that you are truly better off without your ex. It is going to take some time, do not put a time frame on it. You are young, take your time and fully heal, be yourself, and love will find you. There are lots of guys out there dying to meet a nice girl who knows how to treat a man, you already have a major advantage in that respect!

[rebellefleur]

Thank you all for your uplifting support. It's really all i need right now. I just feel so completely low and tomorrow, being 5 days of NC will mark the longest i've made it with NC. It just breaks my heart to feel this way and i'm so sick of it. I just don't feel myself and i just want to be happy again, away from this mess and painful feeling.

 

I think a big part of the hurt came from hearing about a friend who recently broke up with her boyfriend and he fought his butt off for her and took her on this beautiful, romantic weekend. It just made me feel so low. Let me tell you, and even my ex can tell you, the only thing i ever wanted was for someone to fight for me. I'm always just walked away from and dropped like i'm nothing. I guess everything is just reminding me of all of the pain and the fact that i'm actually sticking to NC is bringing all of the hurt with NC as well.

 

Can't thank you enough for just reaching out to me, i really, really, really need it.

[Sara1970]

Sweetheart... you will get there.

Have a ((( hug )))

x

[The_Seeker]

I feel so absolutely broken and hopeless.

 

Been there, done that.

 

Don't give up hope. You can give up faith, BUT NEVER HOPE.

 

I really can't deal with feeling like this anymore.

 

How many days have you been dealing this?

 

If you pass Day 1, you're dealing it very well so far.

 

I try so hard to keep my mind off things,

 

Try harder, my dear. You can do it!

 

to do things for myself, but none of it works

 

Please volunteer at a community service. People can use extra help and will appreciate you.

 

You will have a big smile on your face for all the thanks and love you get.

 

- and i swear every time i hear the phrase "time heals all

"

 

Babe, I disagree that time heals all.

 

Time, LOVE, and TENDERNESS will heal all. ;] I learned that the hard way.

 

 

i want to punch someone in the face!

 

Please do punch the devil, criminals, terrorists, liars, cheaters, bad fathers, bad mothers, the list goes on and on.

 

Time is doing absolutely nothing for me!

 

Be nice to time. Time has given you time to live the way you want to live. ;]

 

I feel so upset, i'm so depressed

 

That's just you feeling at the moment. You'll feel better as days, months, years go by.

 

,

i just want to sleep all of the time

 

Sleep is good.

 

, and i miss him SO MUCH it's unbearable.

 

Please wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap yourself every ti me you think of him.

 

I hate living a life like this!

 

One solution, start changing what you want out of your life. That's one way to start loving your life.

 

It doesn't even feel like i'm living!

 

Start living, hun. Time is being nice to you. Don't you see?

 

I feel like i have to pull through each day just to make it through.

 

Please listen to "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips. Youtube it.

 

I'm 23 years old,

 

;] Me too!

 

 

i shouldn't be feeling like this!

 

Damn right you shouldn't.

 

I feel like i'm alive, but not really living- if that makes sense.

 

Yeah you're on auto-pilot. Start living it instead of complaining how hard love life is. Seriously someone will replace your ex. I used to be in your place until I listen to Jason Derulo "Riding Solo."

 

Get your act together. You can do it.

 

I'm just so broken, i really am. I'm so fed up with crying and hoping and going through this. And on top of it, this NC is awful.

 

Start changing yourself of what you want and need in your life.

 

And the thing that gets to me the most is, i could miss someone so much and essentially mean nothing to them, and they can carry on their lives like normal.

 

Welcome to life. For once, think less unfortunate ones who are suffering way more than you. That should change your mind a little bit faster.

 

I just can't stand feeling like this, i feel like i'm stuck being someone i don't want to be and living a life i don't want to live, but i can't get out of it because it's what i feel and it hurts!

 

I repeat.

 

1.) Start listing what you want out of your life.

 

2.) Start changing.

 

3.) Stop feeling sorry for yourself about depressed because your ex blah blah blah.

 

4.) Stop thinking about your ex or else snap your rubber band self.

 

5.) Come on, he's not the only male on this planet. There are guys way hotter than your ex whether it is physical attraction or personality.

 

I'm done.