IDK What to do

[unSureLife]

My girl and I broke up about a month ago.She's 21 and I'm 23 and were both in college. Our relationship was good but she was saying she had doubts and everything. She said this a few times. Maybe about once every few months. This stressed me out a bit because it was like I"m putting my all into this, and she's still having doubts? Maybe I should take a few steps back and re-evaluate if this is what I really want too. She broke it off earlier this month and said she had doubts and wanted to see if she wanted to move forward and would like to "work on things", but still didn't want to be in a relationship. So basically we were broken up but she still called me every day and all and basically had the best of both worlds.

 

At the end of the first week I told her that it wasn't fair. I felt like I had one foot in the relationship and one foot out. When I started saying this she said she felt pressured and everything to come back and she didn't know what to do and so on. I was trying to put myself aside and kept reassuring her that whatever decision she made I'd accept, as long as she's happy. Then we kept on this halfway relationship and I'd spend time with my friends and she would get mad when I don't pick up the phone or when I reply to a text late. It was messing with me really bad because I was like * * * am I single or not??She keeps insisting were broken up but still wants to go out and hang out and talk and stuff. I felt as if we didn't even break up or something. We argued about the situation over and over. I still felt confused, very confused.

 

Since we were technically single, I flirted with some girl on facebook and somehow my ex, gf, whatever found out(hacked my account) and called me and started cursing me out. As if I cheated on her or something. I was studying so I kept the convo short and got off the phone. Then she started sending me mean texts and calling me over and over. I put my phone away but noticed she started sending things like why aren't you picking up and are you ok and then she was like I'm coming over. Mind you, it's 3am and I live at home. I figured she was bluffing but lo and behold, she starts knocking at my window and door. My parents are upset at this and my dad tells me the next day not to let her in the house again. Then she springs on me that she wants to get back together. This furthers my confusion.

 

I tell her I can't get back into something now. The events that came about are crazy. My parents think she's crazy, my brother told me not to get back with her, my friends think she's being ridiculous and I'm just trying to focus on my school and work so I can graduate. I don't need all this relationship stuff right now. She gets mad because I want time. She doesn't understand why I can't get into it, it's been hard on her too after all. She doesn't understand why we can't just work on things together, why I would want my space. She then says she respects my decision and agrees to give me my time. It was basically a week of her calling me everyday to tell me that it's hard for her, she doesn't know how long she can wait, and how it seems like I don't care, and that we should be working this out together.

 

I can't take it anymore because I'm a very introspective person and can't even focus on my work, so I tell her I don't want to be in a relationship right now, but would like to be friends and maybe revisit a relationship in the future but not right now. She can't believe it, she can't believe I'd walk out on us, she can't help but feel resentment because I gave up.

 

Now, I feel like I don't want to get into something right now because I feel emotionally drained. I feel like I want to be with her because I care, but at the same time she doesn't seem to respect my privacy(she's gone into my phone and stuff in the past), I can't even get the space for my head together. I feel like dang, why does everything have to be her, her, her. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, I don't know anymore. Any input or advice?

[duke nukem]

Maybe you should talk to her about doing no contact for a month or so to figure things out? I'm in a sort of similar situation as you, except my ex hasn't gone crazy trying to get back together. In a sense, I envy you!