playstheblues Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Northpickle recently said this to me and it really struck a chord with me . I think a lot of it for me was a fear of "letting go" - like if I let go of him from my mind then it would be like I never loved him, he never loved me and our relationship never happened, it wasn't real. But what happened will always be there, and over time the hurt goes and we think of it less and less. And it's not at all scary, it is in fact liberating! I think this is true for so many. I miss my ex dearly and still want to reconcile despite him saying 'we will not be getting back together'. I know I'm going to cop a lot of criticism for saying that, but it's what is in my heart. I'm trying to move forward and make positive steps but have really noticed that I've gone backwards in the last few weeks. There have been external factors, like finding out my ex and friends are all going to a party that I'm not invited to because he will be there., I think I'm at day 42 NC and whilst I'm not having any trouble not contacting him, all I can think about is him and him not contacting me. I keep telling myself that he is happy with his decision and he seems fine, going out meeting lot of new people, partying, etc etc so I have to let it go. His actions speak loud and his final words to me (after months of saying otherwise') 'we will not be getting back together' speak even louder. He has not contacted me, so he must be happy to go forward with his decision to erase me and get on with his own life. He has made visible steps to erase me. When northpickle Wisely said the above- I realised that it related directly to me. By holding onto the pain, he is still in my life in some capacity. If I stop the pain, then he's gone and I don't want him to be gone! Has anyone had any luck finding a way to let go despite still wanting to reconcile? I keep telling myself that it is not going to happen, and I think I know that, but I also know that if he were to come back- I would want to try to work things out. One part of me says -"playstheblues- he is not coming back" whilet another scours these forums snd thinks 'surely he must regret his decision at some point" I don't want to let go and erase everything like he's done to me.. Any advice appreciated.. Link to comment
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