changeacomin Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 So we've recently decided to give things another go. And now he has proposed to me. But I don't feel elated about that. I don't feel excited at his proposal. I just feel kind of...flat. I don't want to say "yes" at the moment and I don't know if I ever will... Is that "normal" do you think? Why am I not jumping at his offer of marriage? Is it just too soon? Or is there more significance to it? Thoughts anyone??? Link to comment
Cowboy1015 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Because he proposed too soon. And you're not sure about him. You wonder if he's sincere. And maybe he's not. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Well, i dont know your situation as far as who was the dumper, and what happened. But for me, i get bitter and angry if someone leaves me and rejects me. When i did take an ex back i just had this idea of revenge, she talked about kids and moving in together, and i was just like, "shut up...". I guess by them coming back I got the power back, the insecurity died away, and LOGIC smacked me in the face and said, "dude... really? She left you... you werent good enough for her... so now you are acting like things are candy and roses?" Hence why i told my recent ex... this is it... there is no going back. I think you should give it some time. You still "lose something" even when you get your ex back. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I can't see your post history to know your story ...did you dump him ? Link to comment
changeacomin Posted February 13, 2012 Author Share Posted February 13, 2012 Because he proposed too soon. And you're not sure about him. You wonder if he's sincere. And maybe he's not. I believe he is sincere. He has never lied to me and we've always been absolutely honest with each other about our feelings. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 It sounds like you're going into this with your eyes wide open, along with listening to that inner voice called "intuition," which is a good sign. As long as you proceed with caution, I think you'll make the right choices. All the best... Link to comment
changeacomin Posted February 13, 2012 Author Share Posted February 13, 2012 I can't see your post history to know your story ...did you dump him ? No - he dumped me. We'd been together for 6 years and he wanted to be single again. Now he realises he made the wrong decision and he didn't want to lose me. While we were apart, we both dated other people briefly - although neither of us knew this until we met up again. He is extremely remorseful and I believe his proposal is his way of showing me how serious he is about wanting to spend the rst of his life with me. Link to comment
changeacomin Posted February 13, 2012 Author Share Posted February 13, 2012 It sounds like you're going into this with your eyes wide open, along with listening to that inner voice called "intuition," which is a good sign. As long as you proceed with caution, I think you'll make the right choices. All the best... Thanks for your insight. That makes sense. I still love him, love being with him...but marriage? It's just too soon. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 No - he dumped me. We'd been together for 6 years and he wanted to be single again. Now he realises he made the wrong decision and he didn't want to lose me. While we were apart, we both dated other people briefly - although neither of us knew this until we met up again. He is extremely remorseful and I believe his proposal is his way of showing me how serious he is about wanting to spend the rst of his life with me. oh right well that is a lovely ending ...and I hope one day we can be saying congrats to you , when you have had some time to absorb it all and plan your future ... Link to comment
playstheblues Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 It probably is way too soon. Just because you still love him doesn't mean you a able to be superhuman and just forgive snd trust again instantly. If you could do that, I'd be worried. No matter how you put it, he did leave at one point so your feeling is probably smart. Maybe he should ask again in a year and im sure you will the elation you are supposed to feel. It's nice to know he is serious about your life together- its probably his way of making sure you know he is damn serious about commitment. Congratulations though, what an exciting thing to happen. Just take things as they comes and maybe try to explain to him how you are feeling. Again, glad to hear another happy story on here. Link to comment
lustrous Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 that's the problem. I WASN'T happy before I met him. I was in an unhappy marriage which I lfet to be with him. He brought so much happiness into my life. Now he's gone. I never did get to the "happy being on my own" place. I have been in relationships most of my life. And although I'm seen as an independent, strong woman by most people, I've always had someone to lean on, someone in the background. Now I'm alone for the first time in so many years. Maybe you're hesitating because you still didn't get the chance to be happy on your own. Maybe you should explain to him how you feel, that you love him and are happy to be back with him but you would like to slow things down. I don't see anything wrong with that. Good luck. Link to comment
RGWT Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Are you financially stable, have you lived with eachother yet, do you feel like you didn't spend enough time apart to explore? Don't over analyze, but ask yourself what the most essential factor is that's making you feel dubious. Link to comment
MikNomis Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Maybe even if you do love the guy, you still hold some resentment against him deep down. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I think it may be more of --- he proposed because he is afraid he's going to lose you. And that really isn't the basis for getting married or engaged. You can tell him you think it is too soon in your reconcilation process to jump this far --- just let it develop as it will. If you are uncertain, you are uncertain. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I had that happen to me many years ago - I had a hard time believing the proposal (it wasn't official but it was pretty darn serious). A day later he took it back (he had come to my parents' house where I lived and waited there for several hours until I came home to plead for another chance. Maybe you're a little suspicious of his motives? Link to comment
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