Major panic attacks due to ex?

[MissieP]

I keep having major panic attacks due to my ex? I do not know how to explain it. 2 weekends ago was the last time I spoke to my ex we have not been in contact and basically have written each other off. I am having major panic attacks though and it's freaking me out! Last night for the first time my sister and I went to Karaoke and I wound up singing some Adele songs and actually felt good I got home and started having major panic attacks! It felt good singing those songs but I started to realize those songs were my closure. It was my way of saying it is over and maybe the panic attacks have something to do with that? I have had panic attacks in the past due to school, work being overwhelmed but I am not in school and work is quite fine no problems there except my ex keeps creeping in my mind. It is a constant uphill battle for me I swear I think got closure and I think yes these songs helped me but then it comes crashing down. My ex wasn't the nicest person and far from it so why do I even care if he isn't contacting me? I just keep thinking how much he must of changed for her and why did he leave me in the first place and then come back leaving breadcrumbs if you will only to go right back to her and leave me in the dust. I am tired of hearing myself I am sure everyone is tired of hearing me talk on here but I keep getting these headaches and panic attacks and I know this stress is due to him. What can I do? Why is this happening? Why won't it go away and why do I want him back in my life even just as a friend when he treated me so terribly?I feel so sick...... Sorry for talking all the time and clogging up these boards but these headaches and panic attacks are driving me crazy and it is all due to him and all the stress attached to him.

[jumper11]

It's normal to have panic attacks from a break up. I had my first one after my break up - at work while I was serving a customer. I ran to the bathroom and they angrily sent me home from work. If it helps I had about 5 or so attacks after my break up, and previously never had had any.

[QSP]

Hey I can relate to your pain. I think you need to sit down and just cry and let all the emotion out alone. I realized some people care but life goes on for most people. So you have to worry about you. Whine to yourself, cry, write poems, work out, accept you are hurt and in due time you will get better. Cheer up!!!

[gardnergirl2]

I think I had one so to speak. I was just beside myself and the tears wouldn't stop. Thank god I was at home and not at work. I think its normal to some degree.

[MissieP]

I have been broken up with him for almost 3 months but the problem was he left breadcrumbs as you will call it and would invite me out strictly as friends and one time we even wound up having sex but that was due to drunken behavior and both being really horny but still...... I should be okay by now! I guess us trying to be friend no benefits ( only once as I mentioned) didn't help things because I guess they were breadcrumbs and I got my hopes up thinking maybe there might be a future down the road or realize what a HUGE mistake he made but that never happened. I guess my headaches are due to being confused....... I know when we last hung out 2 weekends ago for this wine tasting event he said Missie I am glad we are friends and I will always appreciate this and I am glad we got to attend this wine tasting event so thank you and as he was dropping me off he said to me Missie once again thank you so much and don't be a stranger! I texted him randomly last friday about a song I had heard and asked him if he had heard it ( trying not to be a stranger) and he ignored me so I am not speaking to him and neither has he so we basically wrote each other off. First off he was the one who suggested being friends and after the huge sorry, sorry ,sorry long letter Missie you deserve better and I am sorry never meant to hurt you I decided to be cool towards him and now he is writing me off? I know I should be thankful after the way he treated me and these panic attacks are stupid but how can you go from telling me not to be a stranger to you when you are treating me like one and just writing me off that is where the panic attacks and migranes come in and I am so confused. Why do I even care? I am tired of hearing myself! Why do I even care if he is my friend? Ugh!

[sandrawg]

Hey Missie

 

I can relate. I have a history of panic attacks. I'd gone several years without one, however, and I started getting them again, the day my ex broke up with me. We were scheduled to talk that evening, and I just knew, in my heart and instinctively, what was going to happen. I felt sick to my stomach and panicky before he even walked through the door.

 

It's been almost 3 weeks, and I'm still getting intermittent attacks. I don't necessarily blame them on him, like you blame yours on your ex. I can't' put everything on my ex. And yeah, my ex was not a nice guy either. See my most recent post, about him being a jerkwad. That's not the only thing he did to me--I just didn't want to see it.

 

All you can really do is try to relax as much as possible...meditate...do deep breathing..have you considered yoga? Yoga helps me a lot with my anxiety. Physical exercise helps, too. Watch lots of comedy movies. You'll be ok!

[Jim Wormold]

Sorry, but could someone describe your panic attacks?

 

I had a few experiences in December where it felt like my chest

was being compressed. I could breathe but it felt as though

I was struggling to get air and I had to sit down.

 

They came shortly after another rejection by my ex and I had

never had any such experiences previous to that, nor since.

 

Is that a panic attack?

 

--------

When I saw her a week ago by chance at the theatre I felt

hot and cold and would have fainted had I not sat down for a bit

before going over to speak to her. Guess that symptom is something else.

[Yeul]

My first thought everytime I'm having an anxiety attack or a panic attack, my first thought is "Oh my god I'm dying".

 

Then I realize, "Oh no no. Not that lucky. Just a panic attack." and I get kind of annoyed.

 

Focus on breathing, put on some music, a funny movie, anything to get your mind remotely off of it. My mother and I both have them, and oddly enough, for the both of us, if we have someone lay or sit on our legs, it helps a lot.

 

Also, remember that it will be okay. Panic attacks are nothing to be played with, if it gets bad enough, and goes on for longer than 30 minutes, don't hesitate to go to the hospital. I've gone once, and they helped me get calm and talked with me and gave me some techniques.

 

It's kind of like actual physical pain, if you let it go to the point where the pain is a 9 on a scale to 10, then it is hard to get the pain under control. However, if you can cut the pain off at the pass, if you will, it will be easier to keep it under control. Same with a panic attack, if you can get yourself under control, or recognize the signs that you might get one soon, accept that and do what you can to head it off. If it gets past the point, sometimes a hospital can be the only thing to bring you back down.

[MissieP]

My panic attacks are exactly what Yuel is saying. I feel like I am dying! I get super dizzy and feeling like I am about to faint and it is so very scary! Panic attacks do make the heart race as well so you also experienced a panic attack Jim. I talked to my aunt who happens to be a psychologist and she told me Missie it is okay everyone has a panic attack at some point in their lives. I am trying to eliminate caffeine for the time being because my aunt said caffeine can trigger panic attacks and since I am in not in the best state at this particular moment I need to lay off the caffeine so I cannot trigger any more panic attacks. I hope one day I get better but as I said right now I am in the acceptance stage and it is a shock to my system when I realize that phone will not ring anymore or we will not play that card game like we used to. It has been 3 weeks since I last saw him or even spoken to him and of course he is alive because I saw his new girlfriend facebook page and she was yammering on and on about him but I am no longer looking at her page it is not good for me to keep doing that. I miss him so much even though he wasn't very nice I still miss him because he was fun to talk to and play our online card game together and when I look back at the last time I saw him which was 3 weeks ago I remember how much fun we had and how nice he was and one day shoot not even one day more like 3 weeks he stopping talking to me. One day we are laughing and he is dropping me off saying how much fun we had next I am at NC and poof he is gone. Crazy how things happen It just makes me sad.......

[sandrawg]

Missie, stay away from him or his gf's FB page. That will only make you worse. Like I said look into yoga classes where you are. Maybe get some meditation .mp3s or something. Distract yourself from obsessing over him or the lost relationship. Go see funny movies. Cry when you need to. You'll be fine.

[MissieP]

Thanks I am not looking at his GF facebook anymore the last time I happened to look was Friday just to see if he was alive and he was because she was yammering on and on about him so I am not torturing myself anymore by looking at her profile and I am not going to keep checking my phone just hoping he will text me. I need to accept it is over and do some yoga and mediate and distract myself Thanks for your advice!