What would you do?

[Confused9999]

I know noboby can tell me what to do, but what would you do in this situation?

 

Been with my husband 6 years, married all of 6 months... with a 3 year old son.

 

At the start we partied hard together, although my husband would always take it further than me, last longer, go back to parties, not come home etc. I don't know why I didn't leave then. I guess once we sobered up and got back into the working week the weekend got forgotten about. This carried on for a couple of weeks and I think I was at an all time low and drinking heavily every weekend didn't help.

 

My son came along and he turned my life around, no booze, stopped smoking, didn't feel the need to go out at all, however my husbands life didn't change. He did slow down a bit, but is quite obsessive, so once he starts drinking he can't stop himself. Until before Xmas, he would drink one night a week fairly heavily (couple of bottles of wine and some beers), but wouldn't drink during the week. I would hear him stotting around the house when I was trying to sleep and found him crashed out on living room / kitchen floor a few times, just fallen over and fallen asleep. Maybe once a month, sometimes less frequently he would go out with his mates and I knew he wouldn't come home until morning, or sometime the next evening.

 

The last time he didn't come home was my Grandmothers 84th Birthday and I couldn't go out for her birthday as my husband was too hungover to look after his son. Luckily, my brother in law stepped in and I did go. My husband did know that I was going out for her b'day.

 

This Xmas was hell. My husband was too hungover to get out of bed on Christmas morning, so I had to open all the presents just me and my son. We had everyone over for Xmas dinner and my husband just topped up from the night before. Once everyone was gone I went to bed as I really couldn't be bothered with one sided drunken conversations. Next morning I woke to find my husband had taken an overdose of paracetemols, he'd left me a letter. I called for help, whilst locking my son in the living room so he couldn't see anything and the ambulance took him to hospital.

 

Since this day my husband has been drunk once (when we were together at a wedding), he has had a few drinks but nothing major.

 

We have just sold our house (we were supposed to be buying a house together), but I keep thinking about the nights I would lie in my bed crying thinking how the hell am I going to get me and my son out of this. I now have an opportunity to go... but what if he has changed?

 

What would you do if you were me?

 

Sorry turned out to be a bit of a novel! But I am so tired, confused and just need some friendly advise. Thank you.

[annie24]

I would tell your husband if he doesn't get treatment for his addictions, you are going to walk away for good. he's an addict. it's tearing the family apart. good for you for getting sober. hang in there.

[Seraphim]

Don't raise your son with this kind of life.

[Moontiger]

Agree with the other here. Get out now. As a mother you have a responsibility to your child that to the best of your abilities you will raise him in a safe place (emotional, physical, and mental) with good role models.

 

You husband is an addict and your child runs a high risk of becoming one also if he sees his father doing this as a he grows up.

[Confused9999]

Thank you for your replies, I think I know thats what I have to do. Just wish he was a horrible person when he was sober, would make walking away so much easier! But your right I have to think of my son.

[Moontiger]

Look at it this way, once you leave he is one step closer to rock bottom. Most addicts need to get to rock bottom before they will get help.

 

Good luck to you and year son!

[Ms Darcy]

This is the right time to get out.