My boyfriend wants to move in with my best friend?

[Lux Meow]

Holy **** girl! I've read your post and the comments, well mostly. I decided to register to this thing just to leave a comment for you! Not many people seemed to really validate how you feel! First off there seems to be more then one issue arising here. I noticed you kept mentioning his comments about lusting after her. While it may be honest it's very insensitive towards you to point out things like how she looks in a bikini and then to say why don't you do that. You may have your insecurities but ish like that doesn't help any. Yeah sure confidence is key and all of us on the planet has known what it's like to feel insecure at some point in life. Jealousy is not a bad emotion. It's natural to feel jealousy but it holds such a negative connotation you see so people will put you down for it. It's okay to feel whatever emotion you are feeling it's there for a reason. As long as you aren't letting it get the best of you or letting it control how you react which to me it sounds like you don't. It also sounds like the situation with your best friend makes you feel inferior because of personal readons and cause your bf is Selfish about his expressions which can be v hurtful. All I can suggest to help boost your esteem since dumping this guy doesn't sound like sonething you want to do so... Maybe seek a nutritionist and dermatologist with good ratings and look for a personal trainer to help you figure out a routine you enjoy where u like the results. Good old endorphines will create some happier emotions. Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself! Also hot yoga does wonders for toning the body. I have such a love hate relationship with that. I have been that dream girl that makes girls raise a brow or half hearted smile when they're bf is in the room and maybe they'd like it if I dissspeared however I've also been the gf who had to meet her bf's friends..one which he has an obvious crush on. She is a very cute & sweet girl but you know what we became friends and still are friends while he is an ex. Even though i was his dream girl It didnt feel good watching have lovey eyes for someone else. The grass may seem greener but the lawn still has to be mowed! I'd have to leave you with this info. Do you feel good around this guy? You say you cook for him and such but I hope you don't feel like you have to do those things to keep a guy into you. He is with you and not her but if he's acting like he'd like to be with her then you're doing yourself a diservice as well as your self esteem by being with this type of guy. find someone who won't be such a misogynist in the way that he objectifies this girl and talks to you about it like you're one of the guys! You are his gf and he should respect your feelings. As should your bf. It is weird to want to move in with someone you're attracted to when you have a gf. Anyway you are not wrong to feel anyway you do & don't let anyone beat you up emotionally for being honest about how you feel. Love yourself girl cause in the end having a good relationship with yourself is the most important one of all as you will always be there for you! As for having Stretchmarks and such those are not flaws! That's a natural part of being human. If they bother you a lot use a body glove to buff the area & invest in a water proof body make up that blends nice. No one sees these "flaws" like your own eyes do and I've seen some gorgeous models with Stretchmarks in Lingerie & they are beautiful! It's just a body and if people can't except you as you are now f them! You will also find out faster who's worth having around and who isn't. How old are you I wonder. I hoped I helped in some way. If you were confused about my misogynist comment google heartless *****ez but with an s not a z. It gets blocked out on here if I wrote it with an s... and put in misogynist as well to learn more of how that relates to this. You are a beautiful person jealousy and all. Your best friend may have her things but so do you! Find yours and rock it! If you ever need to talk email me..okay take care of your heart girl!

[Heather Dawn]

I DO agree that you have many, many insecurities you need to work on. But I also am 100% behind you in your feeling uncomfortable with the idea of him moving in with your gorgeous best friend. That's just...weird. And he should take your feelings into account. Before my boyfriend and I lived together, he was going to let an old friend of his stay with him for awhile. From everything I knew about this friend, it made me very uncomfortable to imagine him living with my boyfriend (he was single and drug-addicted - neither of which my boyfriend was) - and, also, I was spending a lot of time there and didn't know if I'd feel safe with him (or the people he'd bring home) around. My boyfriend's response? "OK, baby...if it makes you that uncomfortable, I won't let him stay here. Your feelings are important to me, and I want you to feel safe and secure here, and to not feel like you have to worry about me when you're not here." And that was that.

[camus154]

I think all the chatter about insecurities is a moot point. Common sense dictates one would not want one's boyfriend living with her hot best friend. This is the stuff of Jerry Springer, folks.

[abitbroken]

I think all the chatter about insecurities is a moot point. Common sense dictates one would not want one's boyfriend living with her hot best friend. This is the stuff of Jerry Springer, folks.

 

If he wants to move from his parents house, I would think he could wait until he found the right situation, answered ads for guys looking for roomies or rented a room. It almost was framed like you weren't ready to move out so he had to find your replacement. except in rare circumstances, a young guy and young gal who are not related living together like this is something to be avoided. she is not the only possible roomie on earth. How would he feel if you moved in with HIS best bud? It is not just even about the male/female thing but your best friend is your confidant also. It is a test of your best friend also as far as what she shares about you with him as well.

 

I hope the OP checks back in since this is an old thread.

[pl3asehelp]

Introverted isn't something you work on. If you were truly introverted, you'd be happy being that way - there would be no other way to live that would make you happy. You're either shy or just have low self-esteem.

[Amber Coco]

You do have terrible self-image and self-esteem issues you need to work on, but you feeling uncomfortable with the idea of your boyfriend moving in with this girl just means you're not dead. Any normal person would react to that crap. And yes, you should react! Communicate your feelings on the matter to him, don't be passive or apologetic, be firm. You don't have to be aggressive either or give him an ultimatum. Seriously, is she the ONLY roommate he could find? Around a college campus? Give me a break. If he attributes this to your "insecurities," and the "don't you trust me line," and still moves in with her, I'd just break up with him. Yes, you're insecure about many things, but this is just common sense. You've also provided some background info about him and your relationship that would have been enough for me to dump him a while back, but consider this the last straw then.

[KittyKittyy]

Most of the comments here are just basically blaming you for feeling like this. Come on, the way your bf is acting is not right. He shouldn't be comparing you to her and shouldn't say stuff about her body like that. For me, it's ok so say someone is pretty but that should end right there. They shouldn't go on about every detail of her body.

Also, I can totally understand why you are feeling insecure, and even if you were the most confident girl in the world about your looks, you would STILL be jealous about this. Why? Because this is a girl, because this is your boyfriend, it's your instinct to get protective about.

He should have talked to you about this before, but in my opinion, he shouldn't even have considered this option. I'm sure he would not like you moving in with some handsome, gorgeous guy which he knows that you find attractive.

I'm not saying you should keep him from doing anything, but this is just such a sensitive topic that needs to be talked through. Yeah, he's a guy, guys can be immature, but I'm sick of hearing these excuses for guys to act the way they do. If a woman can behave and respect her boyfriend, the boyfriend is very much capable of doing that too.

Oh and really, that's the ONLY place he can move in? Come on, don't let he get his way so easily like that.

[annie24]

This thread is a year old.