Rockyr87 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 So earlier tonight my ex texted me saying she missed me. This is one of those "not in a million years" kind of things to me. Usually when her and I text it's cold and one-sided and usually ends pretty quick. This was the exact opposite..it seemed genuine and everything. Does this mean something or am I looking too much into it? Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 So earlier tonight my ex texted me saying she missed me. This is one of those "not in a million years" kind of things to me. Usually when her and I text it's cold and one-sided and usually ends pretty quick. This was the exact opposite..it seemed genuine and everything. Does this mean something or am I looking too much into it? You're looking too much into it. If she missed you, she would drive to see you and admit she was wrong and pull the whole romantic thing on you. If this is a local relationship. If it's long distance, maybe she will drive or fly to see you knowing she will be rejected... People who take risk on rejections after the breakup will show you how much they miss you. But then again some can leave again. So don't read too much into it. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 It's pretty long distance. She lives about 3 hours away from me..When I asked her what she missed so much she said everything. She's a law student so her schedule is super hectic. My gut feeling says it means something, but I don't want to get worked up over nothing. What's even weirder is I was thinking of telling her the same thing. Link to comment
learning2relax Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 It means that she misses you. Just as she stated it. For whatever reason, tonight, she missed you. Nothing more. She didn't text you stating anything else. When we want our ex's to return, we have a tendency to think that there are hidden messages beyond the words shared. We are looking for confirmation for the hope we have held on to. Reality is that unless they say they want to get back together or talk about what happened, they are just sharing with you their thought in the moment. A lot of people fear that the ex has completely forgotten about them. You can see for yourself that yours has not. Her telling you that she misses you is evidence that you have not been wiped from her memory. You were significant in her life and she misses you. It may not be exactly what you want - but there is a positive message there for you. You meant something to her and she doesn't hate you. Now.....stay on your path and keep moving forward. Link to comment
StifledSavant Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 I don't know your back story but even in the most miserable of breakups there are always moments of regret, longing, "coulda beens" and the desire to try again (even if only for a night). Most people just bury those emotions as they come up and move through them. However, with the texting thing and facebook posting every fleeting thought that pops into someones brain, people these days are more likely to voice their feelings in moments like this. The apparent "honesty" of such statements may seem inviting but if nothing has changed since the break up, then what is the point? More heartache, more fighting, more of whatever it was that you went through to separate (the coldness you mentioned), doesn't seem worth the risk to me. Even if you both decided to hook up for a night, a 3 hour trip is a more than enough time for a woman to change her mind again (in fact she could change back and forth several times in 3 hours). And I think that is what you are dealing with here. She has regret as you do but being 3 hours away she can at one moment feel like you won't take up too much of her time and then in the next moment she'll be thinking that it's too far to work out between you. So she will be flip-flopping a lot in her own mind. The distance between you limits you both to only occasional get togethers. How could you possibly build, trust and grow as a couple healing from a break up if you can't be near her enough to know what she is thinking and feeling moment to moment? To help her as her thoughts and/or emotions ebb and wane... to make her feel that you will are "there" for her when she needs you when you aren't actually THERE. How can you do that from 3 hours away? Regardless of who's fault anything is, location, the break up, smelly arm pits, whatever... you can't "be there" for her to help her through dealing with repairing the reason for the break up. If you want to get back together, ask yourself if you would do it because YOU want it or because you really believe that you WANT to meet her needs as much as you want her. However, if there is the opportunity for one of you to make a change in living arrangements, well then I take it all back and I'd say, go for it and best of luck to you both! Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted February 13, 2012 Author Share Posted February 13, 2012 The insight y'all have given is much appreciated. Definitely gives perspective to the situation. I had talked to her a little bit more last night and I've noticed that it's become less cold and one-sided and a couple of times she actually went out of her way to talk to me. I'm really trying not to look further into it than I should, but it's hard not to. Thoughts? Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted February 15, 2012 Author Share Posted February 15, 2012 Last night I texted her basically telling her the same thing she told me the other night. I told her my dating other people didn't work and she told me the same thing about her. After the the conversation flatlined. Have I done myself in by doing that? Link to comment
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