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G-spot is a lie


Nightingale93

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Here's my dilemma. I can not find my G-spot to orgasm during sex. I can orgasm through stimulation of my clit but I want to orgasm from the inside. It is so frustrating for me because I feel like I have to fake during sex sometimes. I feel like I force myself to have sex just to please my boyfriend or anyone I've had sex with. I have issues trying to touch my clit during sex and usually just make it sore..

 

It's gotten to the point where I don't want to even have sex anymore. I don't even masturbate anymore it seems. My boyfriend had bought me a vibrator so we could try new ways and I decided to try it out alone first to see if it would help find my G-spot. NOTHING! Ugh. There has been times where I have thought he has hit it but it's like a dulled pleasure. It's making me feel really inadequate as my role as his girlfriend. My lack of interest in sex has caused arguments and sexual frustration. I'm so tired of it. Sex is also painful for me which makes me want to do it less too..

 

Any advice on this?

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This issue is not whether the G-spot exists but rather why it has become this holy grail for the two of you. An orgasm by any means is pretty freaking great. Why don't the both of you just give the G hunt a rest for awhile.

 

Enjoy the sexual relation that you have and cherish each other. Everyone is different and if he expects you to respond in only certain ways, he is robbing both you and him of the joy that comes from sex. Some women do have difficulty with orgasm. It is rarely made better by creating an issue around it. Back off and just enjoy what works. Good luck.

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many many many women can orgasm through penetrative sex , so include clitoral stimulation at the same time ...

 

if your getting sore touching while b/friend is inside you then lube your fingers up , you might just be drying up a bit ..

 

it would be a shame to develop a loathing of sex because you can't orgasm from "inside" ... some can't orgasm any way so please enjoy your sex .

 

now this hurting business .... do you bleed , is he rather large , is it certain positions only ...you don't have to answer by the way ..but get checked out if your in pain ..it could be something minor and easily sorted..

 

I imagine by now , the g spot failings you feel and the pain are not helping you to feel better about sex.

 

It needs to be about more than an orgasm and although you want to feel the other kind you have to enjoy what you do feel , and maybe the other will follow ...maybe you never will ...

 

there are more women who can only orgasm through clit stimulation then penetrative ....your in the majority not the minority.

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the title of this threat made me laugh out loud--MTE, except that I can orgasm from sex without any problems, it's just the g spot thing that really gets me. Sometimes I wonder if women who claim this have no idea what an orgasm actually feels like. It would be amazing to be able to orgasm in two completely different ways, and I really hope I can figure out how to do this someday. One thing I know for sure, is your state of mind is basically making it impossible for you to achieve this.

 

I think you should just get on opening yourself up completely to your real sexuality, explore all kinds of fantasies and desires, I'm sure you will make some surprising discoveries. I think the freer you are, the easier it is, at least for some people.

 

You don't have to touch your clitoris directly during sex, you can orgasm from being on top or he can indirectly stimulate it during missionary for example. I enjoy sex most when I feel confident, desirable and loved. Almost everyone has sexual desire so you don't need to feel pressured into feeling it, just be natural.

 

If I figure this out in the near future, I'll definitely make a post lol

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It hurts more than others sometimes, usually during penetration. Sometimes through the whole time. I told my doctor about it and she said it was just because I am young. I'm the one who cares about orgasming during sex so much. I feel like he gets all into it and aroused and I'm always left feeling inadequate. We've experimented with different stuff and he bought the vibrator to help me. I'll probably use it on my clit during sex next time and am really confident it will help a lot. I guess I just want to be able to get the full experience of amazing sex. This issue has really affected our sex life because I just don't want to have sex. I'd rather just do foreplay so I can enjoy myself more.

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Having an orgasm is a bit like falling asleep. If you are sitting there, gritting your teeth saying, "must sleep, must sleep, must sleep" it's not going to happen. Best to sit back, relax, just enjoy the moment and what is happening, without putting undue pressure on yourself or your partner.

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because your young ....I don't know that I would settle for that to be honest.

 

does it help to orgasm in your foreplay first and then you can relax for the next bit ...

 

it really is a shame to let this ruin your sex life ....there is so much to do and to experience and it changes as well..

 

I have different views now at 45 then I did at 25 ...

 

there is a whole world of fun to be had with a partner and I think for your own well-being you need to let this go and

just enjoy your b/friends body , his feelings , the togetherness ...

 

I don't know if your in the uk , but if so we have well women clinics , you cold have a little chat about all this and the pain there if

you don't want to see your gp again.

 

you might be tensing too much without realising because of the anxiety you feel and that may cause pain.

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I've always had strange issues with sex. Physically and emotionally. The pain isn't as bad as it used to be and it usually goes away. We ALWAYS use lube. I noticed when we have sex unprotected it's not as agitating so my vagina must not like condoms too much Lol. I do psyche myself out a lot and that is probably because all of my past sexual relationships before my boyfriend have been bad. I associate sex with bad feelings which I know doesn't help. Also, my birth control has not helped my libido. I'm about to go in and change it. I have put a lot of effort into trying to orgasm through intercourse and it just doesn't happen. I guess I'm just going to have to stimulate my clot during and get over it.

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condoms ....yuk ...they kill it

 

its the right and responsible thing to do .... however they are not great ...

 

I am guessing you haven't got a rubber allergy because it would be apparent after sex .. but joking aside , your vagina may not be

to impressed with it ..

 

 

best advice on here is what you have just given yourself .... get over it ...

 

and please try and face your issues with sex and have a future issue free if you can.

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You may try first addressing your emotional issues. If you;re not there emotionally, you'll never be able to 'think orgasm.' The brain is number one in this equation.

 

Now as for the biology, you have to remember that like the penis, clitori come in every shape and size. Had you been given a Y Chromosome, your clit would have become a penis. Your parts may be on the small end, which means you may not even have a g-spot. Or, your parts may be numb or desensitive to stimulation, which is a problem I've had myself in the past.

 

Something to keep in mind with this analogous description, though, is the idea of the erection. Just as a man gets an erection, women get something similar that involves an increased blood flow to the genitals. The clitoris slightly swells and becomes noticeably harder. Ever try getting a flacid penis to ejaculate? Exactly, it's not going to happen!!! The same should follow in terms of a female and her orgasm; if you're flaccid, you're not going to orgasm...

 

Finally, the clitoris shouldn't be smashed and ground up; it should be stroked and massaged. Master your vector; it's not the magnitude; it's the direction of the force! Sometimes the orgasm has to be coaxed out - not roughed out, run out, or chased out!! Sneak up on it. This should keep your clitoris from getting numb or sore from being handled too rough. My ex was extremely sensitive, so there was no being rough with her because as she got further along, her clitoral structure would get more acute to the attention and perhaps expand towards it, but if it got smashed down, she'd get a spike of Shooting pain that said STOP! No good!!

 

Now if you're on top, and he's on the bottom - and he doesn't need to do ANYTHING except LAY THERE [very hard for a man to do, by the way, because we want to move our hip up because we think we're able "helping" and we want to help] there's a prominant formation on the hipbone bone of the male right above the base of the penis. This bone was put there for your clitoris. Insert Penis to the base, use your knees to hold your weight, and gently massage your clitoris against his bone. You'll have the sensation of full penetration along with full clitoral stimulation, thus this setup should yield results for just about ANY woman. If he learns how it feels when you're on top, he'll be able to duplicate it when he's on top. In and Out is not really all that useful for you, that's jsut a myth perpetuated by porn. What you need to do is focus your genitals on his base. Vary the motion, strength, and timing of your hip, moving your clit against his bone, until you discover what combination of sensation generates the most feeling - and then, repeat that motion until you hit it. It should only take a minute if you're in the right mindset. Once you're good, perhaps ten seconds. Ive even heard of woemn being able to masturbate to orgasm from full rest in under three seconds - not becasue htye were born that way, but because they've had practice.

 

But all of this is no good, though, if your mind is not in the right place - so you learn how to Wire Your Sexdrive! Nothing to be ashamed of, by the way - you just haven't moved into the field of fully accepting and embracing sexuality. That's ok - you have the rest of your life to do it - and you can!

 

This is what I have learned thus far...you may feel free to correct me where I'm wrong - but then, every woman is different...the same, but different.

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If you try too hard, it will never happen. You really have to have the planets aligned and your mind in the right place. The G-spot is real but not something you can take for granted. You must develop the proper mindset first. There are more than a few good book on the topic. I believe that one is entitled "The G Spot."

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It isn't your fault you have had crap lovers so don't be hard on yourself or pressure yourself.

 

How much time is he spending on foreplay? Is the foreplay he does something you actually like?

 

We spend a lot of time on foreplay when it comes to me. He's the only guy I've ever enjoyed it with because he can actually get me to orgasm. I guess a lot lately he's been pressuring me to have sex and just anything sexual. I told him he needs to let me come to him though sometimes. I can't perform well if I feel pressured and forced into it. Sorry to be a little blunt to everyone, but my area is VERY small down there which I think plays a role in these issues also.

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The G "spot" is an extension of the clitoris: link removed

 

People, the clitoris is a very large gland! What a wonderful thing. But a G-spot is not an anatomical structure like a limb or self-contained organ. It is a region that is more sensitive in some and not others.

 

It is not just something you need to find. If it was there, I would have found it, dammit!

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We spend a lot of time on foreplay when it comes to me. He's the only guy I've ever enjoyed it with because he can actually get me to orgasm. I guess a lot lately he's been pressuring me to have sex and just anything sexual. I told him he needs to let me come to him though sometimes. I can't perform well if I feel pressured and forced into it. Sorry to be a little blunt to everyone, but my area is VERY small down there which I think plays a role in these issues also.

 

It just means he needs to learn how to initiate sex without you knowing he's initiating sex. That goes back to getting you in the mood, which is a matter that doesn't necessarily mean sex itself.

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The G "spot" is an extension of the clitoris: link removed

 

People, the clitoris is a very large gland! What a wonderful thing. But a G-spot is not an anatomical structure like a limb or self-contained organ. It is a region that is more sensitive in some and not others.

 

It is not just something you need to find. If it was there, I would have found it, dammit!

 

^This! The existence of a g-spot has been controversial at the start.

 

Let me explain the anatomy of the clitoris. First the clitoris has a head or glans. Then there's the shaft (is this starting to sound familiar?) Then the corpus cavernosum which splits into 2 parts called the clitoral crura that surround the entrance of the vagina. It is thought that these 'legs' are what the g-spot is.

 

The clitoris is a lot bigger than we think! Men have their glans, shaft, and corpus cavernosum on the outside. Unfortunately for women, we only have the little head on the outside. =/ I would like men to just imagine what it would be like if they could only have the glans stimulated and never get direct contact with their shaft.

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I would like men to just imagine what it would be like if they could only have the glans stimulated and never get direct contact with their shaft.

Honestly, it's the glans that's the sensitive part. Yes, pressure on the shaft can be nice, but that seems to be largely psychological. It's not like it's directly pleasurable, it's more a signal that we're penetrating all the way, which we're programmed to want.

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Honestly, it's the glans that's the sensitive part. Yes, pressure on the shaft can be nice, but that seems to be largely psychological. It's not like it's directly pleasurable, it's more a signal that we're penetrating all the way, which we're programmed to want.

 

True. Perhaps a better thought experiment would be imagine if you were expected to climax just from stimulation at the base of the shaft. Personally I don't think I could. If that is analogous to the way women are expected to orgasm from g-spot it's no surprise there are these sorts of threads.

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I have found really amazing sex to be part physical and part mental. Matching levels of kinkiness along with a comfort level to be completely in sync with my partner have lead to amazing sex. For me, having a partner I am emotionally connected to makes them and me much better partners and takes the sex to the next level.

 

Have your man find the g-spot manually, there are lots of posts here and around the internet on how to do this. Find it, be able to recognize the sensation of it being stimulated and then begin experimenting with different positions.

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