EmotionalCreature Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 So Valentine's Day is around the corner, and I want to get your opinions on what gifts to get and activities we could do that's not way over the top. Sweet, nice, a little playful and fun idea would be good. I know there are going to be opinions that I shouldn't get my FWB anything, but I want to. We have been friends with benefits for five months. Although we didn't go out together much, but we have spent a lot of time with each other and we feel there is something there. At the moment we are just having fun and good times and are not exclusive, but she means something to me and I want to do something nice. Link to comment
toby17 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 If she's FWB, then you shouldn't get her anything. if you feel like getting her a gift, get her one but not for V day. Does she have a birthday or something coming up? If you feel like this, I think it's time you reassess the relationship. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 I would get her a gift you would get for a friend since you say you are friends as well as sex partners. I would not get a romantic gift. Link to comment
EmotionalCreature Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 I would get her a gift you would get for a friend since you say you are friends as well as sex partners. I would not get a romantic gift. Any suggestions? Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 How is this a romance?? This is why so many people get upset and confused over FWB arrangements. Definitely do not get them anything for Valentine's Day. If you want to give a gift, give it to them on another occasion or just one of those "thinking of you" moments. Giving a gift on Valentine's Day could send a message or create an expectation that you see them as a future partner. It would be asking for future trouble in my opinion. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Any suggestions? How about a gift certificate for a manicure/pedicure? Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Why not get something for an FWB? Lots of people get VDay gifts for their friends. Just make sure it's not too romantic. I can't really think of anything good at the moment though, sorry. Link to comment
EmotionalCreature Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 How is this a romance?? This is why so many people get upset and confused over FWB arrangements. I wouldn't normally get any of my FWB anything, and have never in the past. With her however, we have expressed the deeper feelings we have for each other and acted more than just being friends with benefits (sleeping together without sex, comfort cuddling, hanging out, going shopping, etc). Things have quietened down a lot in the past weeks but like I said I want to do something nice for her. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 She's not an acronym then -she's someone you're dating casually. Link to comment
SometimesShy Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 With her however, we have expressed the deeper feelings we have for each other and acted more than just being friends with benefits (sleeping together without sex, comfort cuddling, hanging out, going shopping, etc). ...The moment you are emotionally involved it STOPS being a FWB relationship. You are either deluding yourself, or if you actually have feelings for each other then you should try for a real relationship and cut the FWB crap. I know that I can't separate my emotions from sex, so there is no way in hell I would get involved in a FWB situation. If I am in to her, then I want her to be part of my life, otherwise we just stay friends with NO benefits. ( many of my female friends have a tough time with this, as they often want to be more than friends, but I don't ) Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Well if they are friends then there are feelings. Having casual sex with someone you were never close friends with first is simply a sex partner - I think many people use the euphemism 'FWB" for that arrangement. The OP sounds like he's been having intercourse with a friend of his but they also go on dates and hang out together - so it's not just a sexual arrangement-they're casually dating but don't want to call it that because of the "want cake and eat it too" mentality- if they label it what it really is then there are additional responsibilities beyond "I'll call you when I'm horny and we'll meet up for sex" (on either side - she or he calling) Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 How about you get her a dose of honesty and tell her you want a relationship? That seems clear. Link to comment
MikNomis Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Nothing more than a box of chocolates, $10 max. And that's only if you decide to not take the advice to not get her anything. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 ...The moment you are emotionally involved it STOPS being a FWB relationship. You are either deluding yourself, or if you actually have feelings for each other then you should try for a real relationship and cut the FWB crap. I'd have to disagree with this comment, only because I think it shows how black/white people view this issue. I'd say that there's probably a large spectrum of different kinds of relationships people can have with others. Having feelings for someone doesn't suddenly make it a relationship, nor does not having feelings for someone make it just a FWB. I'm sure there are lots of FWB "couples" out there who actually care more for each other than people who actually identify as being in relationships. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I've gotten gifts for some of my FWBs. But I am...not so good at picking out gifts. Link to comment
SometimesShy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I'd have to disagree with this comment, only because I think it shows how black/white people view this issue. Yes, there are an infinite variety of possible relationships a person can have, but the standard definition for FWB is simply friends that f*ck, and they have no emotional ties or expectations for any kind of intimate relationship with each other. Of the people I know personally, most of the FWB relationships have always blown up in the end, because somebody ends up secretly expecting a real relationship to come from this arrangement ( usually it's the girl ), and the sh*t finally hits the fan once they realize that the other person was in it ONLY for the sex and nothing else. To me this is classic self-delusion, where people are clueless about their own emotions ( or pretend that they aren't there ), and it bites them in the *ss when it all falls apart. ( the same goes for all of the open marriages I've know of personally, none of these open marriages lasted more than 10 years, jealousy and anger ate them all in the end ) People are emotional creatures, and there really isn't any OFF switch for this. ( well, maybe sociopaths can do it, but it sure ain't healthy ) Link to comment
rachit Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Valentine Day is approaching. You may be having plans to send valentines day gifts to India. Plan to give a special valentine’s day gift to your hubby with Indian Gift Guru this time. Link to comment
Jennifer89 Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Flowers would be nice, a gift card to the movies or something... Something small that doesn't say "I've been planning this for over a month" bc that may scare her off, lol. I think if you are both clear that your starting to get feelings for each other it's ok, and from what you posted it sounds like you both know it and have talked about it. Link to comment
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