What is it like being married to a "mama's boy"?

[married2011]

I am in this situation and I was thinking about posting this to see what others have to say about it from their experience.

 

I hate to use the term "mama's boy" but don't know how else to describe it, I suppose also "mother enmeshed man.

"

Used to think it was just a term and now realize how psychological it is and feel there is little hope if any of change.

 

I want to hear from others. What were/are your struggles?

[Moontiger]

Oh there are a number of threads about this topic. Married, your thread about your marriage, your husband may be a mamma's boy but I think that is the least of his problems. Have you been able to make any progress since you last posted?

 

Mamma's boys run accross a spectrum of "I love my mom very much and want to be there for her." to creepy Oedipus Complex.

[Seraphim]

Based on your other thread this marriage is HOPELESS and was over before it started.

[jumper11]

I dated a man for 5 years who was one. Let me move out on my own, didn't want to come because of his mom. Left me because of his mom. Left me FOR his mom. Still hasn't left her.

 

Enables her behaviour, etc.. its awful to date a mama's boy. You become resentful. You start to feel like you are being compared, and that he is getting everything from her except sex. And then you feel used that you feel he's keeping you for what he can't get from his mother.

 

I hated it, and just writing this brings up anger.. but I'm being honest. I lived with the mother and son. It could (and did for me) get to the point that she could call you names, or argue, and your own boyfriend will only side with her. I was called awful names and not once did the man tell her to stop. Just basically told me to put up with it.. I would come in and they're rubbing each others' backs on top of it all.

 

Makes me sick to my stomach that I put up with that crap. It's disgusting. It's ok to love your parents but NOT to that degree ..

[Seraphim]

Your husband's sense of family is perverse. It really is. And so is his family's sense of family. It is VERY disturbing and not at all normal.

[Hollyj]

Why are you sticking around? Weren't there signs before you married?

 

I read your initial thread and it is very disturbing. The man is only with you for sleeping- hasn't even moved his things in- this is not a marriage. This man is emotionally disconnected and refuses to acknowledge there is a problem. Things will not change.

 

Get an annulment, and find someone who wants to share your life, not one with their parents.

[EgoJoe]

You need to be straight up with this guy. It is the only way.

[engraved2008]

You need to be straight up with this guy. It is the only way.

 

Same...basically his mom lives with me and she is financially dependent on him and have cheking accounts together.Not fun at all.Thank god i dont spend much time at home ( one of the reasons why )

[Silverbirch]

I've been with 2 men who had differing degrees of being Mamma's boys, but neither were as extreme as your husband. Sorry to hear what you are going through. Truly, this BOY and his family will ruin your life if you stay. I'm not trying to hurt you, because it is hurtful, but I think your husband is pushing you away because he doesn't want to be in the marriage (it likely isn't you personally - how could he be with anyone - impossible). He doesn't have the guts to speak with you or deal with it in a mature way. At least you are young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. You deserve - and can have - a much better life - but it will be without him.