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" u learn a lot about your ex's true character after a BU"

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I've seen this alluded to many times around here. I must say, I hope his most vivid memory isn't of our BU fight and the emotional/dramatic phone calls a few days later. I was awesome up until that snapping point. And I hope he remembers my awesomeness over the BU when/if he thinks of me in the future. What are the odds that he remembers the home cooked meals, the good listener in me, the love notes, the reliability of me, the stuff I bought for his kidz (including bikes). Or does the bitter BU and the harsh words that were said trump all of that?


I am a lil embarrassed by the BU, because I truly wasn't myself. I don't know what happened. I turned into a * * * * * who just let it allll out. I was so shook up and fed up. When I calmed down a few days later, I called him a few times to apologize, but he wasn't having it. Is it normal to turn into a different person during a BU?

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Well, I technically dumped him because he was acting so distant, cold and inconsiderate for a looong time. After I dumped him by snapping, he called me back and told me to stay out of his life, that he is going to act like I never existed and advised me to do the same.

you are right that trie nature gets revealed after bi only.. sacrifice also means love.. dumpers tend to forget this.. they are too selfish..!!

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Some people, when dumped or hurt somehow will never be able to forgive. They let the bitterness consume them until they just don't care, and then they "forgive" them in some venomous backhanded manner, and the "offending" party probably never learns of this forgiveness due to NC. Short of physical or serious long-term emotional abuse, that sort of thing is petty and small-minded (except for the NC, which is a legitimate healing tool, though Spite should never play a role in it.) And even those types usually come around and stop thinking of their ex as a rampaging psycho.


So, whether he can see you for the good in the relationship depends on a lot of things. Even if he's bitter for a short while, he'll probably cool down, make his peace, and then hope you regard him and remember him kindly too. Many times, all we want is not to be remembered for finite indiscretions, but who we are in the long term. If you were both fairly good people with integrity, I don't think you have to worry about him being bitter. But it may take some time.

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