Finding yourself being single when your older.

[marconi68]

Can I ask for some feelings and thoughts on finding yourself being single when you start entering your 40's or beyond.

Don't get me wrong I feel happy enough, work is great at the moment and it's too early for me to put myself out there and meet someone special. And I know there are many others at a certain age who are happily single or dating etc. Also of course i see couples who have been married 20 -30 years then divorcing in their 40's 50's 60's. So there is no such thing as normal. People find themselves in different circumstances for no particular reason.

But we are sort of conditioned to think things should be a certain way. In your 20's your enjoying life, education and forging a career. 30's- perhaps climbing the ladder, settling down, maybe having kids. 40's- settled, building a nice future etc 50's 60's kids grown, enjoying life at your pace. This is stereotypical i know. Everyone's different.

Just like to hear some views and ideas from an older age bracket. Perhaps what they do out of work, hobbies, dating ideas, alone time etc, particularly 40 somethings, and their feelings and views.

Thanks in advance.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I have been single my whole life. It is not the way I would have wanted but it is what it is. I rather enjoy my alone time and not having to answer to anyone. I like coming home from a long day at work and just having time for myself without dealing with someone else's quirks, mess and noise. I pursue hobbies, read, go on day trips, have various projects etc. I see a lot of unhappy and mismatched couples and am grateful I am not in a relationship like that.

[KYRiverGrl]

I have never been married (I am 50) but am 4 months out of an LTR. I am still recovering because I miss him sometimes, but that relationship and the breakup taught me alot about myself. I am like crazyaboutdogs ... I enjoy my space w/o having to answer to anybody or having people try to tell me what to do. That could be why I never got married ... would have liked to becasue I'm a hopeless romantic, but marriage is not for everyone. I am beginning to think it's not for me, therefore that is why it has not happened. I am not sure I even want to live with anyone ever again. I like this freedom too much!

 

I like hanging around w/my friends, I am into the spiritual path and enjoy attending different churches, reading scripture from all religious traditions, I would like to travel when finances permit. Pursuing hobbies is fun, too. I meditate too.

 

I found out that life does not suck because I wound up single; also I am realizing that there is nothing wrong with me because I never got the opportunity to get married. I am more and more grateful every day for how my life has turned out. Everyone has different needs and it's a good practice to be able to spend enough time w/ourselves to see what exactly we need for our happiness. I have also seen so many unhappily married/partnered people who refuse to break free because they "need to be in a relationship." So many people don't take the time to realize their own needs and hearts get broken as a result. It 's not fun experiencing heartbreak but it forces us to look within for happiness ... and I know if I wind up in another relationship that I will be fully armed knowing what I need instead of clinging to an ideal of how it "should" be.