hockeynut Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 So I know it's ridiculous that I even have to ask this but I met a girl last night at a bar and want to know when to call her. I'm 38 and divorced and have done a lot of dating in the past 2 years but most of it has been online and I kind of know the protocol for that. I haven't met anyone organically in a while and I'm a little unsure. Do I call today or wait a day and call tomorrow? Or do I start with a text? Truthfully, I'm not too hopeful. She seemed a little young (for me), maybe mid to late twenties and I didn't feel that much enthusiasm on her part. She might have given me her number just to be polite or she just might have been a little shy. Either way I don't really care if this materializes into a date but I would like to pursue it to find out. Thanks. Link to comment
digdug Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I'd wait a few days, she might be thinking the same thing. Let her think about whether it's something she might want also. Sounds as if you aren't sure either, it that's the case you might take the time to figure that our for yourself as well. Good luck!! ~dig Link to comment
blueplanet22 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 call when you want, text when you want - no playing games no protocol. If you like someone then things should just flow and should feel easy. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 In this particular situation I wouldn't call. You mentioned there's no vibe. Link to comment
hockeynut Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 In this particular situation I wouldn't call. You mentioned there's no vibe. Really? I wouldn't say completely no vibe. Just compared to other situations I've been in picking up girls at bars, this one was a little mellow. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 If you aren't sure, text her first and tell her who you are...gauge her reaction. If its positive ask her when a good time to call would be. Women appreciate men who still pick up the phone to call..and it will set you apart. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I would call within 24 hours but not on a weekend night and not before noon on a weekend day. I would not text. Link to comment
hockeynut Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 If you aren't sure, text her first and tell her who you are...gauge her reaction. If its positive ask her when a good time to call would be. Women appreciate men who still pick up the phone to call..and it will set you apart. Yeah I'd like to that but should I do that today or tomorrow? Link to comment
JA0371 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Or tonight?..if you're unsure what to text...make sure it's nothing creepy or weird lol.. Like, ' hi it's BOb from the bar. You had an amazing rack' lol....just kidding but still don 't do it. She may have given her number to 10 guys that night, who knows...so specify who you are and maybe what you discussed. But tell her you would like to give her a call and maybe have a drink sometime.. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I think it's a bad idea to cop out by typing a near stranger a message instead of calling. Differentiate yourself from people who hide behind computer screens or call when they know the call will go to voice mail and call and reintroduce yourself. If you get VM simply leave your number and also say you will try back. My now husband was very shy and unsure of my interest when we first dated and he put in the effort to call me and ask me to lunch. I never forgot that and really appreciated the effort. Link to comment
april15 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Give her a call when you have a reason to. Follow what feels good to you, you don't want to be second guessing yourself: Do I kiss her on the first or second date... Do I pay or let her.. Do I wear boxers or briefs... As Nike said it, just do it! Link to comment
regular joe Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 As a fellow single dude. CALL DO NOT TEXT. My friends and I had this conversation just last night with three single ladies. Call in the afternoon/ early evening. Do not call too early or worse yet at night (they said that one is especially bad. made them think you are just looking for a booty call. one had a dude calling her at 9 PM) You can call the next day or wait one day just don't wait too long that makes it seem like your other options failed. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 If you aren't sure, text her first and tell her who you are...gauge her reaction. If its positive ask her when a good time to call would be. Women appreciate men who still pick up the phone to call..and it will set you apart. This. Text her a couple of times, feel the vibe and then just ask her "Would it be ok to talk to you on the phone?" and play it from there. A phone call out of the blue might scare her if she's not ready for voice on voice action. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Read this again and follow her advice! Don't be like all the other guys, be different and don't let fear control your actions. Most importantly know what you are going to say before you call. Write some notes down if you get nervous and need help. It is good to have a plan. Call her and say "Hi this is X from the bar last night" blah blah blah "Why don't we get together for a drink so we can get to know each other better" If she asks when tell her you should have some free time this weekend and see what she says. Also know where you want to meet before hand, be in control and have a few places in mind so you don't end up like most knuckelheads and say "I don't know where do you want to meet" The time to call can be important. If you know anything about her figure out when she will have some time to talk for a bit. Good luck and listen to Batya I think it's a bad idea to cop out by typing a near stranger a message instead of calling. Differentiate yourself from people who hide behind computer screens or call when they know the call will go to voice mail and call and reintroduce yourself. If you get VM simply leave your number and also say you will try back. My now husband was very shy and unsure of my interest when we first dated and he put in the effort to call me and ask me to lunch. I never forgot that and really appreciated the effort. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 This. Text her a couple of times, feel the vibe and then just ask her "Would it be ok to talk to you on the phone?" and play it from there. A phone call out of the blue might scare her if she's not ready for voice on voice action. There is no vibe from typing to a stranger other than what is in your imagination plus if it were me my vibe would be "wow he can't be bothered to pick up the phone?" Link to comment
Momma1390 Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 No texting just Call her. No waiting. You are not children. Don't play games. Link to comment
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