she won't even say goodbye to me

[moosekaka]

OK, so I worked with this girl and we were together for six months and things got heated and dramatic in the end, 3 months NC after BU (she dumped me) and I finally can't take it anymore and decided to quit and move on. I tried to approach her but even before telling her I quit she said "I really don't want to have this conversation" with a lot of contempt in her face. I then asked her can't I even say goodbye if I leave and she says I can say goodbye to everyone in a group but not alone. I begged her not to do this and she says she doesn't hate me, well I am moving away and will never see her again and I just wanted to make peace and leave amicably, why can't she even let me do that??

[Fun Boater 1]

She can't let you do that because she knows that you are still hung up on her. You haven't seen her in 3 months, right? Why do you need to see her in person to "say goodbye"? She's already said goodbye to you in the form of terminating her relationship with you 3 months ago. She sees your need to say goodbye to her in person as a form of neediness. She's not going to let you see her because in her mind, the relationship is over and no "goodbye's" are necessary. Sure, she's a cold heartless witch, but that's how it goes. Just put her out of your mind and do what you have to do to move on.

[moosekaka]

She can't let you do that because she knows that you are still hung up on her. You haven't seen her in 3 months, right? Why do you need to see her in person to "say goodbye"? She's already said goodbye to you in the form of terminating her relationship with you 3 months ago. She sees your need to say goodbye to her in person as a form of neediness. She's not going to let you see her because in her mind, the relationship is over and no "goodbye's" are necessary. Sure, she's a cold heartless witch, but that's how it goes. Just put her out of your mind and do what you have to do to move on.

 

I'm moving out of the country and this is the last time I will ever see her or contact her in any form again, when we were together I treated her very well and sure the BU was horrible but come on now, if you are never going to see someone again wouldn't you at least say goodbye (which would take what, 5 mins)? Especially if you were very close to that person before?

[stickman]

This will be good for you to leave. SEEING her would be worse for you. You are still in bad shape after 3 months. SEEING her for one last time will make the wound as fresh as the day you broke up!!

 

She feels that she has already said all the goodbyes she needs to say. If she said NO, then dont. What do you think you have to gain?

 

Seeing her does NOT connect you to her. TALKING to her does NOT connect you to her....THINKING about her does NOT connect you to her.

 

Time to move on. If someone did not want to communicate, see or whatever me again? I would be glad that kind of person was out of my life!!! I am worth more to someone who is smart enough to see that.

[WilliamBlake]

As a friend told me, you learn more about who someone truly is after a break up than you do when you are together. She appears to be acting selfish and thoughtless towards you, but that is apparently all she is capable of right now for whatever reason. I don't think you are being needy at all. It seems to me that you would just like to be an adult and handle things with kindness and class. She is just not there with you.

[moosekaka]

This will be good for you to leave. SEEING her would be worse for you. You are still in bad shape after 3 months. SEEING her for one last time will make the wound as fresh as the day you broke up!!

 

I knew that going in to break 3 months of NC would hurt, but I've learnt over the years that no matter how bad the relationship ended (unless it was abusive) that bridges should not be burned and its healthier for everyone to part amicably given enough time. Call it karma or balance of the cosmic universe or whatever.

 

I guess maybe the fact she's young (20) and I'm older (30) gives me a different perspective on these kind of things......I am letting go (or running away or whatever) like I have done with previous relationships but it eats at me that this one has to end on such a sour note.

[stickman]

It would eat at you even more if you saw her and once again she rejected you just like before. You did not burn anything. Walk away with your head up.

 

There will be others in your life. You need to focus on your future and not the past. Try to imagine how great it will feel to fall in love again with someone who WANTS to be with you and who cant wait to see you, feel you and touch you!! It will happen. Trust me on this. That new woman is out there right now and she might not even know you yet! The path to a new love will happen when you least expect it!