finallystrong Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 as some of you may know, I had sex with my best friend about a week ago. she told me she did it because she didn't know I still had feelings for her, but soon after we did it, she said we can't do it anymore because she is going to be involved with her ex. I stood my ground, told her I can't stay her friend (as she had asked me to), and that I want more. I told her I can't see her anymore unless she recognizes how I feel and that I want more and that she would have to feel the same way for it to work. As I was cutting her off and leaving the conversation (over text), she reluctantly said "ok, I'll do it.".... telling me that it's going to be hard for her to grow feelings for me, and that she is not ready for a relationship. but she said she will do this and show me that it won't work. I don't get why she is willing to drop her ex for me to try something she thinks will fail? I don't know if it's because she is angry right now and upset that I gave her an ultimatum, but this all seems weird to me =.= Link to comment
camus154 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Whole thing sounds like one giant pile of fail anyway. Good luck. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 she will be back and forth forever.. u will never have a prob rel with her.. goodluck though.. Link to comment
finallystrong Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 Whole thing sounds like one giant pile of fail anyway. Good luck. After how she is describing it, I agree. I don't even know if it's still going to happen. she will be back and forth forever.. u will never have a prob rel with her.. goodluck though.. I will never have a "prob rel" ? what's that. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 After how she is describing it, I agree. I don't even know if it's still going to happen. I will never have a "prob rel" ? what's that. sorry a proper rel.. too much bs already at the beginning.. alot of girls outhere, try with another.. it will not end well.. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Do you want to be with someone who not only thinks of you as a back up (she was going to choose her ex over you) but that you also had to strong arm into a relationship? This is not going anywhere good. I would back away fast. Personally I couldn't even be friends with someone like this. Link to comment
PurpleSmash Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 You've had sex with her. Unless she's a pornstar or prostitute, she doesn't have experience in controlling or shutting off the emotions that arise from it. As long as you are not bending to her will and being immediately available, she is going to keep chasing you. Partially because she wants to know you're there as a back-up, and partially because she actually does like you. Just keep being aloof, live your life. I seriously doubt the relationship with her ex will go anywhere as she already can't focus on making it work 100% because you're in the picture. The most you can hope for at the moment is more sex from her. However with more sex, her feelings for you will get stronger, and if the sex is better than her ex, you will win in the end. It's not easy though. You can never let in and let her know she has you until the ex is out of the picture. It's to your benefit to keep dating, it will help you control your own desire to have a woman in your life, helping you remain aloof with any one girl, and if things don't work out with this girl it won't hurt as much. Link to comment
digdug Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Walk away ... she's got issues. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Walk away ... she's got issues. I think this about sums it up. It doesn't sound like she was too keen on her ex either. Sounds to me like she just wants no strings attached sex and she will take it from whomever is most convenient. Do you really want to be with a woman like that? Link to comment
B8DarkKnight Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Do you want to be with someone who not only thinks of you as a back up (she was going to choose her ex over you) but that you also had to strong arm into a relationship? This is not going anywhere good. I would back away fast. Personally I couldn't even be friends with someone like this. I agree with Moontiger. She's already waffling back and forth with her ex, and she's very reluctantly getting into a relationship with you only because you made it clear you weren't going to hang around as her moral support and back up if things didn't work out (again) with her ex. It's hard to end a friendship and walk away from a potential relationship with someone you have feelings for, but that's exactly what I think you should do. Stick to your original plan. Things may be hard and hurtful now, but if you actually try this and invest even more of your emotions into this, it's going to be worse when it fails. And trust me - it will fail. Sorry Link to comment
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