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Hi I just need someone else point of view with my situation I'm currently living with my boyfriend we have been living together for almost 4 yrs we have two kids the oldest from a previous relationship but he has raised her as his own well we have been living at his parents house since they had two extra bedrooms in the house since the beginning I noticed his mom didn't really like me for the fact I already had a daughter but she loves her a lot she tells everyone she's her granddaughter but with me its a whole different story..well things weren't so great after we had our boy I found out he was cheating but I forgave him and we moved on from that but our issue has always been his family there rude to me when he's not around and I don't say anything because I don't want to cause any conflicts between him and his family I love him a lot and I know he loves me but I just don't think I can take this from his family anymore I feel left out from everything and they pretend I'm not there and we live in the same house I get this from his brothers too there all good with the kids I don't think I've done anything I'm quiet I keep things to my self most of the time I just don't know what to do he doesn't want to move out but I don't want to stay here....

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i can really relate to feeling belittled/criticised/ignored/judged (for want of better words) by a bf's family...luckily i only had to put up with this when we (myself, my bf and our son...their grandchild!) stayed with them for holidays...it was very de-stabilising, and made me feel angry and confused (which i kept to myself). i couldn't ever have imagined actually living with them, so, as i said i can relate. it seems you have two choices:


1. move out (why doesn't your bf want to? does he realise how difficult things are with you and them? have you told him?)


2. stay (sit down with the family and 'have it out' in a constructive way, with the aim of reaching harmony under one roof, which you are perfectly entitled to, as are your children)


you say you haven't 'said anything because you don't want to cause any conflicts between him and his family'...i don't think you have a choice now, it has reached a stage which is unbearable for you.(not to mention the knock-on effects for your children).

it doesn't have to be a 'conflict' as such, you would be making a stand for yourself/your emotional well-being/your family. you have every right to do this. it's how you present it. assertive, not aggressive. maybe after having told your bf how you feel, he would join you on this, to provide a supportive and united front when you approach his family.


I send you courage. you can't carry on living a life feeling like you do. bless you and good luck.

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You really need to move out and have your own lives together to make a go of it.


I am curious how old you and your bf are, whether you are both working, whether you are paying rent to his parents, whether you are relying on them for childcare or meals or cleaning or utilities...


If you were on your own completely then you would be able to truly focus on your relationship as a separate family unit, and perhaps the animosity would then go away...


And if he will not move out, then make steps for you and the kids to move out. It is not a healthy situation for your children, and they are your first priority.

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Thanks for replying to my have been really helpful were both currently 23 he works full time I work part time and go to school we pay rent here...I know we can move out maybe be a little tight on money but we would be fine...I have talked to him before in the past about this and hes talked to his mom but she just starts crying and crying and nothing gets resolve. That's why I would just avoid that idk what his reasons are for not wanting to move out sometimes I think that hes scared of just being fully committed to this relationship.. Thank you again your answers are helpful to me....

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