Ceez3 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Hey all please I need help, I don't know what to do. My ex-gf and I had been together for 4 years, and we were truly crazy about each other, even up until the end. Right before Christmas of last year, she suggested that we take a break from the relationship because of the stress it was causing her. After grad school I hadn't been able to find a job in my field for over a year, and I didn't know whether I wanted to keep looking for a job or go to medical school, and whether I'd even get accepted was a question also. I had basically been in career limbo for over a year. She told me she constantly worried about whether or not we had a future, and that taking a break would let me see how it is to not have her and might motivate me to get my life in gear, and that it would give her a reprieve from the stress. She also said it would allow her to see how it would be without me. I reluctantly agreed to taking a break, and as miserable as I was missing her, I respected her wishes and kept my distance. About a month later, toward the end of January she texted me, and told me that she felt that she wanted to stay single, and that she couldn't call because it would have been too hard for her. We ended up on the phone, and I told her that I'd realized that my passion was to pursue medicine and that I even had gotten interviews with med schools. She told me that didn't guarantee I'd get in and she needed long term stability in life. We broke up that night, without animosity or bitterness. I then sent her an e-mail later that night pouring my heart out to her explaining why we shouldn't throw away such an amazing relationship, and that I still loved her dearly. She was surprised by the e-mail because even though I was very supportive to her I was never the type to let her in on my own problems. She then replied saying she didn't know what to do and that we should talk again in a few months to see how we'd feel then. Two weeks later I got accepted and I called her to see if we can get back together, but she told me that she enjoyed having time to herself, and she wanted to stay single, and that emotionally she wasn't there anymore. She even told me she hopes I can FIND SOMEONE ELSE when I go to med school. She said she wanted to be friends with me but I should move on from the relationship first. A week later she even tried to return to me a gift I had recently given her. Since then I've been giving her space and not bothering her because I thought she'd gotten over me. But when I did the "stuff exchange", I spoke to her sister, who told me that she was incredibly broken up about it when we first went on the break (crying often and drinking every night). And that she told her sister she couldn't do the "stuff exchange" herself because if she saw me she'd get weak. Her sister liked us as a couple and wants to see us get back together but told me that it's good that I'd been mature and given my ex her space, that I "need to give her time to miss me", and "who knows what will happen months from now". Is it even possible that she can get over me SO QUICKLY after 4 years? I don't know what to do, I haven't slept at all the last month, she's everything I'd ever wanted in a girl. I still love her like crazy, she's the girl I want to marry, so I don't want to ruin my chances of reconciling with her. I keep hearing about No Contact, but doesn't No Contact only work if the girl is insecure right? The whole point is to make the other person feel insecure no? She is a pretty secure person so I don't know what I should do, No Contact or say "Hey, how have you been" once in a while? If you can help me I would thank you from the bottom of my heart. Link to comment
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