Anna. Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 It's been 5 years next month. I need to go. He's my best friend. We love each other, but no passion, he won't commit, etc. Read my posts from the past 5 years if you're curious. He's a great dad, that part is going to suck for our 4 year old. But we've just moved. He helped me move, gave me some of his furniture and has even been staying with us, but has no intentions of moving in... * * * , our daughter is 4. He knows there is no passion, he has no intention of moving forward. He thinks bc he's faithful, he's good. Sorry, not good enough. No romance. I need words of encouragement from you guys. It's time. I want love! I want romance! I want commitment! I don't want to lose my best friend and my partner, though. But it's time. Help guys! Link to comment
Scuza Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Have you expressed your concerns about his commitment issues to him? I'm genuinely shocked that he will not commit to you after FIVE years, AND having a four year old daughter... That's some serious commitment-phobia if you ask me. I don't know much, but this seems like a very complicated situation... Have you considered possibly relationship counselling to explore the issues at play here? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 He will not commit to marriage??? If you are not getting what you need, it is not healthy for you and your daughter. You will be doing the right thing if you are not compatible and he is unwilling to commit. You knew the answer before you created this thread. Link to comment
turnera Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Before you bring yet another child into the split parents category, take a good hard look at your relationship with your man. Just because HE isn't doing what YOU want doesn't mean he deserves to be left. Go to link removed and print out 2 copies of their Love Buster questionnaire and Emotional Needs questionnaire. Both of you sit down and fill them out. Talk about what you learn about each other. Eliminate your LBs of him and meet his top ENs; ask him to do the same for you. Get the book His Needs Her Needs and read it together. Vow to spend 15 hours a week together doing non-child-related things - in other words, start dating again. You have to WORK to keep the spark alive. Just as you are disappointed, I'm sure he's just as disappointed with you. Follow these steps for 6 months and see if things don't change. Link to comment
Anna. Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 No, he won't commit! Its ridiculous. He's divorced and has issues...he's depressed..he won't go to counseling, and we really can't afford it either. And yes I do know the answer. I just want encouragement to end the relationship. It's really hard as well, because his family is awesome and very supportive. My family is NOT. I'm actually barely on speaking terms with my own dysfunctional drug abusing family. So I don't want to lose the people I've grown to count on either. Link to comment
PlayingAces Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 You'll look back on this someday and know it was the best thing you ever did for yourself. Go for it. Link to comment
Mustachio Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 If you have exhausted every possibility of staying together and absolutely know its the right thing to do, then you dont need validation from me or anyone else. While I do think the fact that you have a child together merits extra consideration, as I said if you have exhausted every possibility and are unhappy, then you gotta go. Link to comment
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