Just got my closure through the grapevine.

[rig01]

I've posted about what happened to me in a few places here, but long story short, a 2 year relationship ended in October, we still lived together until December. She was planning on moving back to her hometown. During that time we got close again, cuddled, talked about the future again, etc. One night we kissed and she pulled away, then the next night started seeing someone else she knew through work, but was evasive about it. A week later she left and stayed with him for 2 weeks until I could move my stuff out. When I left for the last time, I confronted her and she told me she's already been in a relationship for a couple weeks now, and she's not moving back home anymore. It's been 5 weeks of No Contact since, other than two text messages from her about forwarding mail to my new address.

 

Tonight, I heard through the grapevine that she's trying to give away her cat, because as she says in the message she's sending out, "the person I'm spending the rest of my life with is allergic". So after two months of this relationship, the first of which she was still living with me, she's decided this is "the one". The night before she started seeing him, she was kissing me in front of a fire and telling me she missed me, and only a couple months before that she was calling me her life partner.

 

So that's it. If this is who she is, then she's out of my life. No reconciliation, no friendship, I'm done. Not the closure I hoped for, but at least now I can move ahead with MY life.

[LDRohnos]

I doubt it happened all that fast. When I see someone relationship jump like that it's usually because their relationship started long beforehand.

 

Regardless, definitely move on. Relationship jumping people aren't worth the time or the trouble.

[rig01]

Actually, that's pretty much what she's like. It went fast with me too, and with the guy before me. She does this, and it always gives her problems, but she never learns. She was already friends with the guy, I knew that, but I know she never went out or did anything with him (I lived with her so I knew her schedule), and up until she started dating him she was planning on moving away. I'm sure there was some flirtation at work, but probably nothing too public since it's a busy hospital environment.

 

Regardless, I'm done. I still feel lonely, but it's no longer because of her absence.

[sadchick83]

People and animals are disposable to her. I feel sorry for the cat ( and you too ) . Seriously? She has moved in with someone she met in December? SHe sounds like a user.

She has set the bar low-- you will meet someone better.

[rig01]

I don't think she's moved in with him (they just spend all their time together), and she met him at work well before December, but that's when they started dating. Still, who phrases it like that to people in a letter about a cat? I know when you're in the honeymoon phase you want to tell everyone, but why not just say "My boyfriend's allergic" or something?

 

And I think she is a user. She can't be alone, but she can't fully commit either, and she'll drop someone like they're nothing if they don't get her closer to her own goals. It's like she has no concept of what a real relationship is...it's not about what I can do for you, it's what we can do together as one.

 

I'd like to meet someone better, though unfortunately she was a rare type - we had the exact same obscure sense of humor that I don't find in many people, and we had tons and tons of little inside jokes. I'm hoping to find someone else who "gets" me like she did. At this point I'm done pining for her and hoping she'll come back, but I'm still not over the trauma of it so I don't know how to trust someone in a relationship again.

[SnowWhite7]

Your ex sounds exactly like mine. Forever jumping from one person to another. Unfortunately many people don't have any morals these days. they start a new relationship even before the old one has finished. I wouldn't be so confident if I was the next person. What makes them think that they'll be any different with this user?