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Me and this guy have been on and off for 9 months, we're both in college and have been through hell together. A couple months into dating, he told me he was "falling in love with me" to which I responded with "thank you.." because I wasn't sure how I felt yet. I know his little ego was crushed...


By now we have broken up, because he didn't want a girlfriend (I was his first girlfriend since high school, and what 19-20 year old guy doesn't have doubts about being in a committed relationship?) we had space, realized how much we missed each other, and got back together about two months ago (he initiated, not me), and NOW I find myself head over heals for him. I honestly do love him.


But there's a few problems. He's been out of town for two weeks, visiting family and spending time with his grandma and cousins and such... We were perfectly fine before he left town. But while he's been gone, he barely talks to me. I get a call or a text every two or three days. If I text him, he responds almost immediately and we're fine, he's not short or distant or anything like that. I called and told him that it seems like he's distancing himself, and last time he did that he broke up with me, but he said we were perfectly fine and there was nothing to worry about. After that conversation, he didn't talk to me for two days...


Well the other day I found out he has been texting a girl that I'm acquantinces with, and she told me about it and said she didn't know he had a girlfriend until she asked him and he said yeah he did. I asked what happened, and they have never even met,only messaged through facebook. She let me read all their conversations and the worse thing that was said was that "he wishes she were there to snuggle with him" but other than that, their conversations were nothing more than friendly.


So I confronted him about it, and he said that he's a natural flirt. I was already perfectly aware of that.. And honestly, it's hyprocritical of me to get mad because I text other guys and flirt with them too. He said we'll talk about it in person when he gets back in town tomorrow, which was fine by me. We've texted a little bit since then after I cooled off, and things were fine. He wasn't short or rude or anything.


I'm just confused right now, and I'm not sure what to do at all.. I love him, and I think it's stupid to end things now after everything that has happened. I just don't know if I'm being needy and overreacting, because I've been told that I do that a lot. Others have told us that we are perfect for each other if it weren't for the fact that he was arrogant and I didn't have such and awful temper and overreact so much.


Any advice would be extremely helpful... Because we're talking in person tomorrow, and I'm not sure what to do...

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If I was dating a girl for 9 months and told her I loved her and she didn't feel the same way, and she flirts with other guys, I'd move on. That's a pretty long time to date and still not you how you feel. If that's how he feels, the right thing for him to do would have been to break up with you so he can find someone else, but often people are too cowardly or lazy to do that so they remain in the relationship, but are mentally already gone. If you want it to work with him, I think you need to do some soul searching and figure out how you feel and what you want.

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I love him, and I want to tell him, but I don't know if he still feels the same way he did because of the way he's been acting recently Should I just be straight up and face the possibility of rejection?


Of course - being honest about your feelings and facing rejection is a fundamental part of dating. You don't risk anything you don't gain anything.

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