Jump to content

What does it mean??


Recommended Posts

So my ex broke up with me at christmas. We had been dating 5 months and became very close. The connection we had was just amazing nothing either of us had felt before. He said he couldnt imagine me not in his life etc etc! anyway we lived an hour 10mins apart and he felt that over xmas he didnt miss me as much as he thought he should and that his feelings had changed. I have re analysed every last detail of te relationship and we were just perfect for each other. I cant find a single thing i felt that i done wrong i didnt argue, i kept the relationship exciting with new things to do, listened to him, dressed pretty for him, and really made an effort for him. we never argued, we laughed together and even had plans into the future. Just nothing i can pin point and he said i was the perfect girl for him and he couldnt ask for more hence it came so out of the blue when he came down to dump me! Ive never been so devastated. he did say he wanted to keep in touch as he cared so much about me and he said he really ment that. Anyway emotions running high following it texts were exchanged just kindof going over things more me asking him and getting upset as to why it happened. i tried to be cool after the break up and he did text me a few times to see how i was. that was until it just got to much and i got upset over my texts. he said his mind was made up and he felt it was for the best. He also said it was hard on him too etc. Anyway since then he has deleted me as a friend on facebook and i havent heard from him. So it feels like he didnt care about me or what we had and also that he didnt mean about staying in touch?? just looking for peoples views around why he would just cut me off like this and also why its so hard for him yet he was the one that broke it off!!! also does anyone have any comments on why he broke it off in a situation where no arguments, i never got on his back about anything, i id all the right things, we had chemistry and he also said this etc yet break it off?

Link to comment

Cute – I’m just as confused and sad as you are. Got dumped pretty much the same way around new year (together for two years) and I really thought we would be in the relationship for the long run. I did get some reasons – but they were all stupid in my head and I also got the “I still love you”, “I still care about you”, “I’m hurting too”, “I still want to be your friend” and (my favorite) “I wouldn’t be able to NOT contact you… I mean, it’s you… I talk to you about everything” – talk. And that makes me sooooo mad.

And yeah, I’m really devastated and I just don’t get it. Why did he do this to me..?

Hmm… maybe your guy got scared of commitment? Maybe it all got too serious for him? Or maybe his feelings just changed... as eternalsunshine says.

Hey, we’re in this together. We’ll figure it out.


Link to comment

Peoples feelings can change quickly. It isnt that you have done anything wrong it is just that for him the feelings are not as strong/ or are even there anymore. We cant control our feelings for someone. It is not like he intentionally changed his feelings, and it can be hard to accept but like i have said we do not have control over it. We can do everything right and get on well with the person but sometimes our feelings change.

Link to comment

As I always say feelings don't really change...people just get bored and look for something new to excite them. People are just as disposable these days as everyday household items. It sucks I know because I too have been on the receiving end of 'feelings have changed" and it hurts and it confuses especially when you think things are going well but clearly the other person waited until the last moment to tell you about the changes so there is no chance to rekindle any fading romance...Keep strong...I know I'm trying to...

Link to comment

these stories sound quite familiar to my own too I think it's because they get scared of the commitment, they do still care about us very much but they care about themselves a lot more, they then don't have the guts to see it for what it is which is why they spout all the crap I still love you etc etc

Link to comment

Eternalsunrise - I know, didn't mean anything else.


Lonelyheart - Yes! THAT'S the problem, now how do we get into their minds so they realize that we can be a complement to them and not a terrifying black hole?


Cute - Feelings are hard to understand... and yes. They can change. But I believe that if it ever was love... there will always be love in one way or another.

Link to comment

haha Mimora if only that were possible! I am now 7 months out of my relationship and finally starting to accept that you cannot change someone's mind.


At least we know that it is not our issues that we need to solve but it really is 'just them' haha what a cliche! But no seriously, if they change their mind I'm sure they will let us know, otherwise in this case as sad as it is I think it's best that we try our hardest to move on and make the best that we can of our life without them I like to think at some point they will regret what they lost but we will be so happy with our new lives that we won't even care

Link to comment

Yeah he has contacted me on and off with random breadcrumbs and I contacted a few times too. This time I'm trying nc for good though! Although I don't believe in ignoring someone but I do feel a lot better this time round, I feel like if it happens again great, but if it doesn't then I know I'll be fine How long has it been for you? Any contact in your situation?


cute = it does strike me as a little odd that your ex deleted you off facebook, don't go by my opinion only but I would have thought that an ex who goes so far as to delete you shows that he still has some feelings for you? I don't know seems a bit odd, wait it out I say maybe contact in a couple of months and see what response you get if you feel you need to still try.

Link to comment

Cute - I agree with Lonelyheart, give it some time. It sound like there are still some feelings.


Lonely - Oh, about 5 weeks so not sooo long. But long enough. Had some contact (he sent me an email the same night that I had picked up all my stuff at his place saying he still cares, loves me, wants to be my friend and that he had cried that night over me) and I replied some days later... And then he answered two weeks later and then I sent him a b-day card/gift and then nothing. That was two weeks ago. Going all NC now for a month or two but I know that it will be broken in the future by one of us. But it sounds healthy that you feel better this time

Link to comment

O not long at all Mimora! Well good luck, I think it's a good idea to give it a bit of time before you make contact again, I should think emotions are still very high for the both of you. I never had that problem as when my ex broke up with me he was abroad for another two months so I knew for sure I wouldn't see him. It must be very hard seeing them again. I wish you all the best and lots of luck

Link to comment

yeah i thought it was a bit strange since i wasnt annoying him or messaging him and he wanted to stay in touch so to one night just delete me from facebook seemed a bit odd i keep feeling that he may forget me in a few months if i dont try to stay contact now although on the other hand i feel that i should wait and see if he contacts me? oh i dont know what do you guys think?

Link to comment

Thank you. Appreciate it, I really do. And I guess I need to hear that. Everyone I know keep telling me to let go and I just want to keep fighting...

Read this the other day: "There are things in life that never last. But the truth is, you never lose them until you let them go. Life is about choices, hanging on, holding back, letting go. Some things do last if you let them and if they let you." It gives me some hope. Now I just have to find a way into his mind

Link to comment

Hey There!


Some men don't want perfection. Some people for that matter. They want someone who's a bit of a challenge. I know it sounds really weird, however it's true. I think he wants more of a challenge. You may be "perfect" in many respects, but not what he wants. Maybe he's confused and doesn't have any explanations for you as to why he doesn't want to be with you anymore....he just knows that he doesn't.


It sucks yes, but all you can do is move on. And don't contact him anymore. I think that makes things harder.

Link to comment

Its soooo hard!! do you think there is any hope?? or am i delusional! what if he never contacts though if i dont




Cute - WAIT! Don't contact him! Seriously. Don't. He'll come around. You don't have to mark the calendar with months but give it a week. And then another week. Try to be strong. It's hard. I know.

Read this

It helped me alot.

Link to comment

Cute - Let me put it like this, only you know whats right for you. I can't tell you. I swore I wouldn't contact my ex - but I did it anyway but now I wont. But I have a plan! If he doesn't contacts me within... well... three, four months then I'll just text him saying "Hi, how are things, would you like to take that cup of coffee now?" and then see what happens. We cant change them. If they don't come back - that's their choice.

It sucks!!!! I feel just like you! But I'm starting to get better.

Link to comment

NO don't do it cute!!!! You are in the panicky phase but truuuuuuust me he will not forget you!!! Definitely not! Although having said that at the end of the day it's up to you! I know that I would probably have sent him a message saying something along the lines of asking if I had done something wrong but I have always acted on my emotions and I'm not sure if that was the right or wrong thing to do....more often than not you do not get the responses you want.


Do you what feels best for you but try to keep your emotions in check and think logically about the situation (I know easier said than done!!!) We'll be here to support you

Link to comment

Do you mean "growing" or "growing UP"? Cuz I feel that my ex has a lot of growing UP to do.


I got the same thing...On NYE, he was falling in love with me, couldn't be happier, for 3 weeks..everything was great. Then BAM. I get blindsided with "the feelings aren't there", a little over 2 weeks ago. I am still reeling from it.


I still want to sit him down and ask if he was just leading me on.


My ex is 26. I'm wondering how old all of your exes are, the ones who ALSO blindsided you with "feelings have changed" b.s.????


And yeah, I feel it is b.s. Either they didn't feel for us, and led us on...or they care about us but they've found someone else, or something we don't even know, has happened.


Seriously, you don't stop loving someone THAT quickly. Not unless someone else came into the picture or the other person did something terribly wrong.


These guys may just be too immature to REALLY commit.


another main problem with these kind of guys = we came at the wrong time of their lives! They obviously have a lot of growing to do...
Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...