Being friends with ex

[dave1981]

After cooling off for a while after break up, we are speaking to each other via email (which she initiated)

 

I know being friends with ex is not good idea, but if the reason you broke up was due to lack of communication on my side. should I still keep in contact with her

 

I still want her back .

 

thanks

[digdug]

After cooling off for a while after break up, we are speaking to each other via email (which she initiated)

 

I know being friends with ex is not good idea, but if the reason you broke up was due to lack of communication on my side. should I still keep in contact with her

 

I still want her back .

 

thanks

 

I don't subscribe to the thought that you can't be friends with your ex. There are heavy opinions on either side of the argument, and I agree with both. I just happen to think that if your relationship was strong, not diluted, and built on a solid foundation, you can be friends, and sometimes can't help to be. You know each other inside and out, and sometimes having that kind of friend can be the very best kind. I don't think that just because you slept with someone, and shared intimacy with, that you can't look at them the same. Why can't you? I think that comes from within.

 

With that being said, go with what makes you feel good. During this break have you taken time for yourself? Have you set boundaries for yourself with what you expect from your girlfriends, friends, family? These are important, because if you haven't, you will go back to being the same old you. I am assuming you have changed your ability to communicate of course. That is not an easy thing to conquer.

 

Communication is key, and if you've learned to open up more, and having her as a friend fits well inside your boundaries, I say go for it. You have to make YOU happy first, and if this does it, go for it.

 

Be careful not to get your hopes up, and don't look at it as a reconciliation. Look at her as a friend. Friends can be forever.

 

Good luck to you,

~dig

[jolbell69]

If you are ok with it - then it's ok!! Do what feels right Dave - because it usually is. Are the emails about the relationship or just small talk?

[DN]

In your case it might have a beneficial effect, so I would go for it, at least for a while and see what happens.

[CindyTime]

Dave,

 

You've received some great advice already. I agree with the others.

 

I am in that situation now and now have 3 months of experience with it under my belt. It's tough, but yes, it is possible. I am over in the Healing forum if you want to keep up with my journey and my challenges. I try to post updates every couple of days.

 

Happy to help.

[dave1981]

I do accept its over,

 

I'm quite a quiet person at times , I'm comfortable sitting in silence with her, but this annoyed her. But the thing is, she never mentioned anything and I admit I sometimes wasnt as open as I could have been

 

 

 

 

 

Just small talk , telling me how she is doing, asking how I'm

 

I never brought up anything about the relationship, she says she wishes things could have been different, I hope your family dont hate me

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks, I will keep in touch with her, i'll see how it goes, and see if I can cope

[jolbell69]

Good luck Dave!!

[digdug]

Good luck!!!

[nikos2012]

Any ex that has broken up with me, I can rationalise, especially if they are honest, and have ended up being friends with them, at least til things fade away gradually. Except my current ex (who I dumped me about 6 weeks ago - we can;t be friends cos she never really told me why we broke up except that ws freaked out by intimacy). I wouldn;t want to dismiss the experiences we shared even if we are not going to be together in the future.

 

I've not been friends with GF I've broken up with.