When should I, or should I already have kissed her?

[pixelpaste]

Went out with a girl and I really like her, we got lunch and talked for about 3 hours. I found that we have much in common. When we departed we hugged. Should we have kissed? lol when is the average dater supposed to kiss? 1st date 2nd date 3rd? We have another date later this week.

 

Thanks

[camus154]

Do it on the next date.

[The_Seeker]

If she is a slow dater, don't kiss her yet unless you want a slap accross or punch on your face.

 

If she is a fast dater, then kiss her on the next date.

 

By kiss, you mean by make out.

[pixelpaste]

I appreciate your advice, but um how do you know whether someone is fast or slow? I mean, she seems pretty straightforward (she initiated the meetup). We shook hands in the beginning so this is sort a blind date situation.

[camus154]

You don't. Which is why you man up and kiss her on the next date. You're not going to get slapped.

[The_Seeker]

You don't. Which is why you man up and kiss her on the next date. You're not going to get slapped.

 

YEA YOU WILL GET SLAP. It depends on her culture, or who she is as a person.

 

Depends what type of girl she is as well.

 

If I were you or a guy, I would play it safe unless she keeps HUGGING you constantly. That's your move to give her a kiss.

 

If you move in for a kiss, and she pushes you to back off. That's a sign to not go in for a kiss next time. It's her move.

 

Trust me, I know.

[camus154]

Lol, I doubt it. And if you do, so friggin' what? Seriously, men need to quit being such weenies and take some chances in life. What is it with everyone wanting to play things so safe and wanting all kinds of guarantees before asking a girl out or calling her or making a move? No wonder women are bored to tears with us.

[pixelpaste]

I'll go for the kiss on the next date. She can always push me back or slap me, and a push could just as well be a slap anyway. When I look at it from another perspective; for certain kiss her, it seems unreasonable that the relationship will collapse if that option turns to a fault, especially since we get along so well. Right?

 

thanks you two

[camus154]

Good for you, guy. You kept your man card

[BlueEagle]

You just have to go with your instincts. If it feels right then go for it. By that if you sense she's into you. I wouldn't wait any longer than the third date though. I waited until the third date on my last relationship, but earlier that night we were holding hands. That's a good indicator before you go in for a kiss. Will she let you hold her hand? If so, it might be the right timing. Whatever you do though, just don't ask if you can kiss her. It's a real mood killer that I think most women would agree on! Good luck!

[The_Seeker]

Lol, I doubt it. And if you do, so friggin' what? Seriously, men need to quit being such weenies and take some chances in life. What is it with everyone wanting to play things so safe and wanting all kinds of guarantees before asking a girl out or calling her or making a move? No wonder women are bored to tears with us.

 

Dude, I'm just warning him.

 

It's not being weenies or anything. It's called being respectful.

 

Those women who are bored are the ones are seeking "someone that challenges them constantly." You seriously wanna be in that type of relationship that go for it.

[The_Seeker]

I'll go for the kiss on the next date. She can always push me back or slap me, and a push could just as well be a slap anyway. When I look at it from another perspective; for certain kiss her, it seems unreasonable that the relationship will collapse if that option turns to a fault, especially since we get along so well. Right?

 

thanks you two

 

LOL Let's hope she doesn't know karate. That be bad.

 

If she pushes you, I wouldn't go for it again.

[The_Seeker]

You just have to go with your instincts. If it feels right then go for it. By that if you sense she's into you. I wouldn't wait any longer than the third date though. I waited until the third date on my last relationship, but earlier that night we were holding hands. That's a good indicator before you go in for a kiss. Will she let you hold her hand? If so, it might be the right timing. Whatever you do though, just don't ask if you can kiss her. It's a real mood killer that I think most women would agree on! Good luck!

 

Seriously, don't play by the rules.

 

OP, go what works for you. I'm just warning you, if she is the type of girl that likes to take dates slow and getting to know you, then PLEASE respect her boundaries.

 

Holding hands doesn't mean she wants to kiss you. She might like you but doesn't mean it's the right time to kiss.

 

I disagree that it's REAL MOOD KILLER. Come on you're getting to know each other by the third date still.

 

Then again, it depends on the girl. I'm pretty sure the girl knows when to push/slap a guy if she doesn't want to be kiss.

 

So OP, it's up to you.

[figur]

If it feels right, go for it at the next date. Nothing forceful, so go in with a bit of a smile and see if she reciprocates. She may not go for it, but her reaction will let you know if she just isn't ready or decides that now she hates you.

 

My own example with current boyfriend: 1st date: he initiated a hug and I am not at all a hugger, but went for it. Nice embrace, we had really hit it off. 2nd date: awkward kiss on his part that I somewhat avoided cos I wasn't expecting it and it went to my forehead. 3rd date: I kissed him first which culminated in sleeping together.

 

So...there are no rules. Just go for what feels right.

[BlueEagle]

Holding hands doesn't mean she wants to kiss you. She might like you but doesn't mean it's the right time to kiss.

 

No, it may or may not necessarily, but it shows she is at least open to more affection. He needs to go with his instinct. Only he will know by the vibes she is giving off if he feels she is open to it.

 

I disagree that it's REAL MOOD KILLER. Come on you're getting to know each other by the third date still.

 

Asking a girl for permission to kiss her while on a date just seems to reek of a lack of confidence, which can indeed be a mood killer for women. I would think most females would tend to agree and would welcome to hear their feedback. Instead, take a risk, be bold, IF you're picking up good vibes from her. Of course it varies from girl to girl, and it's okay to go slow while getting to know someone and absolutely to be respectful, but I'd caution not to play it too safe lest you might find yourself banished to the "friend zone." Just my opinion though. Do as you will, OP, only YOU will know if and when the timing feels right to go in for the kiss. It'll just feel right.

[The_Seeker]

LOL To some girls may seem a lack of confidence, but to some, it might be cute.

 

Screw the friend zone. You will know when you're a friend zone when the persona automatically ignores you.

[Glowguy]

Second date is the ideal time. If you don't do it by the third date then it's game over.

[The_Seeker]

Second date is the ideal time. If you don't do it by the third date then it's game over.

 

Ha ha, maybe something is wrong with me.

 

I didn't kiss my first boyfriend until the the third month.

 

But good luck to the OP!

[Glowguy]

I didn't kiss my first boyfriend until the the third month.

 

Wow slow down there tiger! I hope for his sake it doesn't take that long. I've gone past three dates before kissing but only because the attraction wasn't there and it definitely wasn't going to work out anyway. If I am attracted to her then I feel compelled to do it quickly.

[The_Seeker]

Wow slow down there tiger! I hope for his sake it doesn't take that long. I've gone past three dates before kissing but only because the attraction wasn't there and it definitely wasn't going to work out anyway. If I am attracted to her then I feel compelled to do it quickly.

 

Ha ha, lol that's such an oxymoron.

 

It did. ;] We ended being together for a year.

 

LOL It depends on the girl.

[epsilon2x]

You're not gonna get slapped. She obviously likes you enough to go on a date and hangout for 3 hours. It's not like you are trying to have sex with her, it's just a kiss. Go for it on the next date.