flamaze13 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Hey! So I’ve been friends with this guy for about two years now. We met through a class but he continued to talk to me all the time online, and we went out for dinner a couple times at the beginning. We spent a lot of time apart, as he was in London this summer and I was in China. When we were together for one night, he took me out on a date and we made out for several hours outside and probably would have gone farther. We didn’t talk about it again, but spent a lot of time together watching movies, although he was very careful to not touch me. It was weird. He did kiss me goodbye when I left for England. We became insanely close while I was away for three months, him definitely pursuing me although with the warning he didn’t know what he was looking for. When I came back home, he picked me up in a suit, held my hand all through a fantastic dinner, which was over $150. We went back to his place and “watched” movies….really just made out for a few hours. He told me that he did not want nor expect to sleep with me. I made him dinner about a week later, and it again turned to tons of kissing. He wanted me to stay the night, just sleeping, but I declined. He playfully attempted to get me to stay, but I laughed and went home. He invited me over the next night and I accepted. We did just a lot of kissing. The he started pulling back. After a couple weeks, where we were more distant, we got together and he sat as far as possible as he could from me. “I think you are more of a friend, I’m so sorry.” He was in a scarring relationship with a girl four years ago and doesn’t think he’s capable of doing it again. I knew this from the beginning, as he wasn’t ever interested in anybody outside of a celebrity crush. He doesn’t date people, period. I asked for some time because I saw him as more than that, and he panicked but agreed. It lasted all of five days before he messaged me again, and I decided just to swallow it and have one of my best friends back. But then last night I slipped up. I asked him why he was avoiding me, which he was doing. He said he’s “exercising his right to be by himself,” which was like a slap in the face considering how he always came to me in our friendship for everything. “I just can’t be physical. I’m sorry I led you on. Why isn’t being best friends good enough?” I asked him what happened after I stayed the night. “I really, really missed you. I wanted to see if we were compatible, I guess. But you are much more than the physical stuff to me, which is why I guess I don’t want it. I can't do relationships and I hate complicated, and obviously I care or else I wouldn't be continuing this conversation. I have been nothing but honest.” Ugh! "When I was in a relationship, I was boyfriend of the year, but my happiness relied on others. When she burned me, I changed and now my happiness is solely dependent on me only at the expense of relationships." So every rule says that men cannot be just friends with women. I know that we find one another attractive, just by chemistry and by the fact we are both really good looking. I’m in deep here guys. I’m considering pulling back again, but it really sucks to be in this position because being his friend should be enough…. But it’s not. I want to be with him, and bang him crazy, and he doesn’t. Link to comment
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