Books helping post break up

[dumPI]

I wanted to share a list of some books I've read or I am currently reading. I linked to the books in Amazon and copied the excerpt. Then I added my own view about them.

 

 

To focus on you

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If you're plagued by guilt or worry and find yourself falling unwittingly into the same old self-destructive patterns, then you have "erroneous zones" -- whole facets of your approach to life that act as barriers to your success and happiness. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer can now help you break free!

 

If you believe that you have no control over your feeling and reactions, Dyer reveals how much you can take charge of yourself and manage how much you let difficult situations affect you. If you spend more time worrying what others think than working on what you want and need, Dyer points the way to true self-reliance. From self-image problems to over-dependence upon others, Dyer gives you the tools you need to enjoy life to the fullest.

 

-> It helped me identify negative thoughts which created bad patterns in my life in many levels: love, work, etc. I think it's a must if you feel something has always been wrong with you and you want to break free from low self-esteem, lack of confidence, insecurities, fear of commintment, your past controlling your future, guilt and worries, expecting validation from others.

 

 

 

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The Clinically proven program for making close friends and finding a loving partner. Principles of Cognitive Therapy applied to eliminate the negative thinking and low self-esteem caused by shyness and loneliness. Case stories, sensitive advice, exercises step-by-step.

 

-> It helped to see how loneliness and being alone are two different things as well as to think about why we have those inner assumptions made in the past which we consider 100% true (I need a partner to be happy, living alone for a long time will cause me to be alone forever) and they prevent us from feeling good and getting what we want out of life. I am currently reading it. But it's very interesting because of the case studies and the techniques teached.

 

 

 

 

 

To focus on relationships

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If the relationship you have with your significant other is defined more by companionship than passion . . . if you love each other deeply but are not deeply in love . . . if you feel that something's missing or is no longer there . . . then you could be experiencing ILYB (I Love You, But . . .).

 

In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You --a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall--partners and individuals who have 'fallen out of love' or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results.

 

This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together. Marshall's research is one of the few that delves into what causes relationships to 'cool' or for emotions to be 'dulled.' So much more than a quick-fix guide, I Love You, but I'm Not In Love with You empowers couples to emerge with a better understanding of themselves and each other, and ultimately build a stronger, more passionate bond.

 

-> Learning what can cause the ILYB ... sentence, learning mistakes one may made: never arguing, expectations of a perfect relationship, not understanding the stages of love, understanding that sometimes the relationship is not the problem. Understanding that people can fall back in love given the right conditions. Very interesting exercises for couples feeling this loss of love. Even some chapters for couples both dumper & dumpee regarding having the talk, coping day to day, feeling guilt, bonding again, how to make sense of an ending.

 

 

 

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Being single or married has nothing to do with whether you need to feel loved! Everyone has a God-given desire for complete and unconditional love in all relationships. Originally written for couples, bestselling The Five Love Languages continues to revolutionize relationships. In The Five Love Languages Singles Edition, Dr. Gary Chapman adapts this powerful message to the unique needs of single adults.Understanding and applying the five love languages will enhance all relationships. Whether it's parents, coworkers, classmates, roommates, siblings, dating partners, or friends, The Five Love Languages Singles Edition provides tools to give and receive love most effectively. Includes a study guide that's perfect for small groups, workplace studies, and book clubs.

 

-> Just started reading it. Understanding that people are different and express love in different ways. Which one is mine? Which one was my partner's? What do I expect of her? What did she expect of me? Was I providing it?

 

 

 

 

To focus on dating

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Maybe that special someone is not as far out of reach as you think. Maybe what you need are a few effective strategies to finally make the right moves. Even if you’re very shy, a little on the quiet side, or simply not the social success you’d like to be, Love Tactics is here to help.

 

This book presents dozens of techniques designed to help you win the love of that special someone. With each tactic, you’ll find yourself becoming more enthusiastic, confident, and eager to approach the person of your dreams in an effort to win his or her love. Then, for those who have already found a romantic partner but have lost or are in danger of losing that person, the authors present tactics for winning back a lost love. The dream is in sight—and Love Tactics is all you need to make that dream a reality.

 

-> Very interesting for those who feel like they can't or don't know how to "play the game". Interesting how low self-esteem, idealization & asking for validation might make us repeat mistakes once again while dating or trying to get dates. It encourages to forget our fears and give love because if we do it from the bottom of our heart, no one would resist that power. There are 69 different "tactics": be independent, unpredictable, take your time (go slowly), be first to show interest in the other. One very interesting part of the book is devoted to "Winning Back the One you've lost" with advice on how to start a healing conversation, cut your losses, decide if it's worth it, insisting without pleading, etc.

 

 

 

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An eBook that gives steps and tips on how to approach, meet and interact with women naturally. It revolves on transforming a man to be authentically confident.

Table of Contents/ List of Topics Covered:

- 3-step technique to get rid of fear

- get her to notice you

- become The Selector

- never be in 'the friend zone'

- become a master conversationalist

- two types of guy women wants

- strategy in tapping into your authentic self

- how to ask out a woman

- honing your listening and observation skills

- the power of attraction momentum

- best places to meet women

- getting rid of approach anxiety

- three key things that attract women

- top 5 things that will repel women

 

 

-> Fear, fear, fear, fear ... always this damned fear is preventing us from getting what we want: attract, re-attract ... if you don't fear you'll do what it takes without paying so much attention to the outcome. Outcome is not related to your value.

[dumPI]

I am currently reading

 

link removed (a free preview to read in scribd)

 

Available for the first time in paperback, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.

 

I find it amazing because it deals with commitmentphobia and how fear of commitment is there for everyone of us even when being with "the one" (remember there is not any "the one"). I haven't finished it yet but I found some parts very interesting like this one called link removed

[Donovan79]

Good stuff, man, thanks

[Coconut Twin]

Have to say, was a bit skeptical of Eckhart Tolle but.thought I'd give him a try.

 

The book I bought isn't specifically geared towards break ups but more to self awareness and how to create a better life for yourself and to understand the 'pain body' and the part it plays in fuelling the ego- whether its arrogance, self wallowing...He talks about how the ego effects us in somtimes the most undesirable of ways. Not your usual psycho babble self help book.

 

I know when I was severely upset months ago after the split, it was like my pysche was not intact. My eyes were glazed, my soul was dark and my thoughts got the better of me. My 'pain body' was taking over my everyday life. Until I realised that its not about hin, its about me.

 

The books called 'New Earth - Create a better life' by Eckhart Tolle

[miss_sunshine86]

The best one I've read is Don't call that man.

 

It is really helpful.

[Donovan79]

The best one I've read is Don't call that man.

 

It is really helpful.

 

I'll check it out.

[triste0508]

I have the book and the mp3s...but i started reading/listening ...but I didnt understand ...i felt it was a little complicated !!!

 

 

I read and listen to "the secret" just for some positive thinking aspects !!

 

I am starting to study about a Japanese life philosophy called Seicho-no-ie ....its about positive thinking and actions also!!