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me and my ex were together for 6 yrs on and off and 3 months ago we broke up but kept in contact, everytime we start trying everything will be fine then she will say we need to go our separate ways then a few days later she will end up texting and hanging out then bam say it again . well this past weekend she slept over 4 nights in a row everything finally seemed we were heading in the right direction had a great time together and the next day she texts me saying i just dont wanna do this anymore your my comfort zone and thats isnt ok... i dont nderstand how we could have such a great weekend and her sleeping over all weekend then the next day say that too me and that we need to go our separate ways and that shes sorry... im very hurt and confused... can someone please give me so advice or opppions...

 

 

p.s. we had very long talks before she said this before started staying over those 4 nights we talked ofr 2 hrs and discussed us , i asked the big important questions in my eyes .. if she loved me? if shes attracted to me??? she said yes i said please be honest even if it hurts me, she said said she was being on honest and would tell me even if it would hurt me, she said she was scared for it to fail again and wishes she had a guarentee.... i know her mom disappoves of us and thats where shes living since she moved out 3 months ago, and her father told me who doesnt live in the household that her mother is the one putting things in her head.....

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To me, she does not want to be together with you anymore. Simple as that. She is having a hard time with the speration, and thus keeps coming back, but after a couple of days, she realises that she doesn't want to be with you and is just there to not feel bad about being broken up.

 

It does seem that you do want to be together with her, but unfortunately I don't see it happening. So I think you need to be strong and tell her straight up. Don't come back unless you are coming back to us. And stick to it.

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Maybe she misses that part of being with someone who does care for her which conflicts with how she somehow resents you for whatever reason which causes her to come up with the comfort zone thing.

 

There is a likelihood that what her Mother is saying to her is influencing her erratic behavior as well.

Some people can be quiet suggestive/persuasive/manipulative if they do not like the partner of their family relative, or even a friend for whatever reason.

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well i planned on starting the NC but she texted me and came over for a little bit tonite and hung out, i confronted the situation and she said its that one min she wants to be in a relationship the next she says she content with being alone....i said then ur heart cant be in it anymore she said thats not true, she says she likes tings about us and doesnt like things bout us... i asked about the dislikes and she said she doesnt like the routine of us... i basically just said we im done trying to win ya back i submit and thrwoing the white towel.... i didnt know what else to say....

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  • 9 years later...

Look the problem you have is, that you keep giving her what is expected from a relationship! I explain, why be in a commitment? When she can get all the percs of one without commitment! Stop fckng with her give her the no contact and go out and post that ***! If she wants to be with you she will stay because she sees you're moving on! But if you keep entertaining it you will lose her for good! Basically she's giving you time to man up and be a little more emotionally stable and strong to handle her! Sorry to say she's seeing weakness and that's why you getting the hot cold reactions from her. Good luck but grow the pair already and you will see a major shift on things! 

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