Girl has a boyfriend but is continually showing interest in me..What do I do??

[satoristory]

Hi everyone, I have a situation that I really need some advice with. So there is this girl whom I met after she introduced herself to me at school. I talked with her briefly and she dropped out and lost all contact with her until about a month ago. We became good friends incredibly quick, went out to a bar the first time we hung out and wound up stayin up till 6am. We have so much in common and generally was the first time I had ever felt so comfertable with a girl after just meeting them. From that night on we have been talking, texting or hanging out every single day since. She let on right away that she had some "unfinished business" and had been dating on and off again with a guy for a year or 2. Which didnt bother me at first, but over the past couple weeks I've been developing feelings for her. We've gone out quite a few times since and we've both been very flirty with each other. However as of late her guy and her have seemed to gotten back together. Even though she has told me this she still keeps in constant contact with me, and I do truly enjoy talking and seeing her. We've hung out numerous times since but she won't actually admit that she is back in a relationship, and everytime the guy is brought up it is never anything positive yet she says she loves him.

I played cool for awhile but eventually she said she knew I liked her, but that she already has someone else, yet she calls me everyday after she gets out of work, we stay out late togther when we hang out and shes invited me back to her place on more than one occasion though nothing happened besides laying down with each other. From someone who maybe has been in this before, is this girl attracted to me?

I told her my feelings for her the other night, she didn't respond back but the next day she called me and we went out later in the evening, we've casually talked about it but it seems as if she is still expressing interest in me, she remembers things that are goin on in my life, we generally connect as if we've known each other for years. I don't know where to go from here

I told her I would respect her relationship but that I do care about her and like her as more than a friend. I would have figured that she would have made an attempt to see or contact me less if she was truly commited to her guy, but I cant figure this out. Is she just that cool of a person to where it doesnt bother her, or does she actually seem like she feels the same way as I do based on her actions?

I am curious if anyone has an opinion or advice to give me, I don't want to barge in on a relationship, but I do care about her and could see myself with her and becoming serious. Should I pull away alittle bit, express my feelings to her again in hopes she might tell me how she really feels? or just attempt to remain friends?

[Fudgie]

You won't be serious with her if she has a bf. Keep being friends with her but I'd work on distancing yourself. If she asks why, tell her that she knows about your feelings, and you don't want to have them for someone who is in a relationship, so you're backing off. Her response will say a lot. If she tries to keep you around and not break up with the guy, then you know that she's fine with having an emotional affair essentially. Says a lot.

[Snowy]

She's basically cheating on her boyfriend. Does he know about you two? Would suck to be that guy.

 

The truth is, she is in a relationship which means she either stays in that or leaves to be with you.

 

You never know what she's doing right now. She could be:

- keeping you as a spare tire

- keeping you as an ego boost

 

 

So basically you should tell her to make a choice. If she decides to stay in her relationship, then you should leave her and move on.

[donpeel83]

As others have said, she is likely using you to boost her ego or have as a safety net in case she bails on her bf. Personally, I would distance myself from her. If she has issues with her current relationship then she owes it to herself and her BF to be honest and to work on this first.

[top bloke]

If she wanted you she would have made it clear by now instead of ignoring you when you told her how you felt. She cant have both of you and must make her own choice. Walk away and save your sanity

[MySecretName]

You don't want a girlfriend that has a boyfriend, already - trust me.

 

Not only will it lead to cheating on her part, and the possibility of this boyfriend finding out and kicking your ass... but if you two happen to get together in the future - you're going to be very insecure.. knowing how you two got together and knowing what took place for you two to be together. It will eat at you and anybody she talks to will feel like a relationship threat.

 

Ride it out. See where their relationship goes. Ask her if her boyfriend knows you two hang out, and if he thinks it's okay. Stay friends.. but don't cross the line to intimacy until she is single, my friend.

[Darkvader]

There is this girl i've been in love for that long 10 years I guess.

We know each other way back before college and became friends but our relationship as friends is not that much before but after college we became quite close, until her family knows about me also her friends, she was in a relationship on and off but never with me, i tried to make her feel I like her but she doesn't bother minding it at all. She left before for 2 years due to work related we keep in touch but not that much until she met a guy and they became a couple and I also found someone else. She came back last 2018 and we keep in touch again but but our relationship as a friend grows we became more comfortable and close a little level up. Last 2020, we did hangout that much for the first time since her boyfriend was away and also mine. She just knew Im in a relationship for 4 years already she was shock why I didn't tell her. During those hangout last year we savor all the moments we did things we don't usually do, we cuddle, we hold hands, that was the time she tried to feel everything and give chance about on how i feel towards her.

Now we continue to call and text each other even have late night talks, she told me she likes me but doesnt want to act on it or show it that much since she is in a relationship and i've heard they are planning to get married. I love her that much but why is she still keeping me? why does she allow that we call and text a lot? Why does she flirts back sometimes? What should I do?

 

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it seems like she sees you as a great friend. She has a BF so not much you can do.