fighting in ldr s how come they last longer and seem harder ?

[jakdax]

Ok so I know I haven t been in an ldr that long compared to most of ye .But this is a problem I'm finding . Dont wanna sound sexist though but probably will .

 

So I was meant to have a skype date with my gf .We ve been going out a year near enough and ldr since september past . Anyway she was really busy and i understand because she s being examined in collage this week and has to have lots of work prepared . I'm meant to be going over next weekend for her birthday anyway so i really didn't see the point of fighting that she s no time for me seeing that she ll go outta her way next weekend for me and want to go sight seeing and everything all for me .

 

I went online around 9 , had been texting her until then and she generally is finished her work by then anyway and I hate going on and just being there waiting for her to finish so we can talk esspecially if i ve to wait online for a few hours . Anyway she was super busy and video called me so basically i cant do anything else apart from stay on my laptop because if I turn on telly she ll give out bout the noise it makes and i dont care enough to pay any attention to her (even though she s too busy to talk to me ) . So I just stayed on my laptop. Went on facebook and u tube . found a few songs and sent them to her which she always liked but was bored of it so stopped luking up songs after and hour then went to c who was on facebook and started chatten , well her friends tbh. My friends dont stay in on saterday nights and never have so doesn't leave a whole pile to do. Anyway was slagging her friend and telling her bout my plans to go over to see my gf .

 

At the end of the conversation her friend told me to say hi to my gf and that she couldn't wait for her to come home. I did this and well i got the cold responce back which means she s not impressed (probably cos she thinks i pay more attention to her friends but bare in mind, she s to busy to talk to me herself maybe i get a sentance ever half hour ).

 

So then anyway I did luk for someone else to talk to , but didn't find anyone . It didn't surprise me though only reason i go on my laptop is to c my gf (something she doesn't believe ) . So i lay down waiting for her to finish and eventually she did nearly at 12 .It was late but I didn't mind , so i asked her to show me her work .

 

It s not that I understand it or anything but just to show an interest . Anyway she shows me then shows me a spider diagram she did on her laptop for a presentation and she told me that she s to do another one tomorrow so i just said ,'Why didn't you do it today when u had the layout and all made up ?'

 

Well did I get it , so i said sorry but she refused to accept and i asked her what more does she want and she said to come home . Now i know what most of ye are gonna say because lets face it easiest answer is to say yes come home so i ll book ur flights and collect u at the airport.

 

However this course she s doing gets her , her dream job . If I let her come home then i will always be blamed for her not succeeding so i held my ground and told her i was going to bed and we could talk tomorrow

 

I never sleep when we fight , which well seems to be every weekend . Dont wanna push blame because there are times when it s mine but it s like the fact we re not together causes fight s . Fights that well dont make sense to me. I dropped outta school to work so i m not the most educated person , but surely the fact ur in an ldr should mean u fight less ?

 

Anyway i came back online to make sure she wasn't on , brooding tbh because it ll mean she ll be tired today and make her work harder.

 

She was online and still refused to accept my appology and the usual thing happened . I got dumped. Now i m not surprised by this either seems to happen once if not twice a week . At first i was patient because it was adjusting period .Then when i thought it had gone on long enough I pushed for acceptance that this is us now and nearly had it but then her granny died.

 

Now i know she still greaving and getting it hard to accept but it would be nice not to get dumped every week or have to fight so i have two questions.

 

Does anyone have any tips ?

 

and is acceptance just something women find harder to do ?

 

i have two sisters and there the very same when it comes to something they dont like where as i and my brothers tend to get on with it.

 

I really love this girl , wanna spend my life with her . So some help would be great and thanks in advance and sorry for those I offend .

[aaronstone]

Hey

 

Sorry to hear about all your relationship problems. Believe me I've got into a few fights of my own having been in a LDR for 7 years. You need to be understanding while she is under school pressure. I know that it is difficult but she will graduate eventually. My girlfriend and I would get into similar arguments while waiting for each other (both of us were on busy schedules in college)

 

We'd always set a certain time to meet up via skype or msn messenger, our rule was that if either person was going to be more than 15 minutes late then we would reschedule. A simple rule like this prevented alot of frustration and actually made our relationship stronger as we both considered each other's time.

 

What bothers me about your relationship is that you said "it would be nice not to get dumped every week" Your relationship should have alot of communication even when you get into an argument (I know it sounds impossible). You two really should have a discussion about that since it is hurtful to you and if she is committed to you then she shouldn't be brining that up all the time. I have a feeling that is a signal that she is feeling insecure about the relationship.

 

Hope that helps