HoliPoli Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Guys need to be needed, wanted, desired and understood as much as any female. Just because a lot of them are programmed not to show it doesn't make it less true. Well good thing neither one of us are men. Some people just want to fight pointless arguments in the hopes of accomplishing what? It's all difference of opinion. You keep telling yourself you're correct and you will be. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 A friend of mine and I had an interesting conversation about this, and I wanted to know what other women thought. Ladies, after a good first date, how long do you generally wait before contacting the guy again? (and I mean with something thoughtful, not just: "Had a great time, bye." I typically never contacted the man unless for some weird reason I forgot to say thank you or we had discussed my contacting him because he needed some sort of information from me. Link to comment
JewelCat Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Many women are behind the times, or are princessy types, and won't contact the guy - which can mean they miss out on great guys. Agreed. I emailed my boyfriend the day after our first date, and we've been together for almost 5 months now. I know 5 months is still a little early, but i know if we break up anytime soon, it wont be because I, "took away his biological need for a challenge," or anything like that. I made it clear I wanted to see him again, and a few weeks later, he wanted a relationship with me. No negative consequences from me reaching out to him first. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Agreed. I emailed my boyfriend the day after our first date, and we've been together for almost 5 months now. I know 5 months is still a little early, but i know if we break up anytime soon, it wont be because I, "took away his biological need for a challenge," or anything like that. I made it clear I wanted to see him again, and a few weeks later, he wanted a relationship with me. No negative consequences from me reaching out to him first. To me, making it clear would have been calling the person and asking him out on a date - that's great that you reached out to him and that he wasn't put off by it but it's a little different when a woman calls a man the day after a first date to plan the second date. E-mail itself is indirect and if a man sent an email like that to a woman the day after a first date without asking her out, then the assumption would be "he is probably interested but until he actually plans a second date it's anyone's guess". I also think there's a difference between a thank you email or an email showing interest on the one hand and a woman who keeps asking the guy out (i.e. takes the traditional man's role) without letting him ask her out. But maybe it's different with the "younger" set. 5 months is a nice amount of time and, of course, if things were not to work out it wouldn't be because you emailed him! (But I hope they do work out). Link to comment
AnnaN Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 It has been always the guys that contacted me after the date to arrange a second one. Almost all of them texted me that they had a great time immediately after the date. Most of them also were texting things like you are very pretty, very sexy, I'd like to see you again etc I hadn't been on a date for the last 4.5 years till this week. I went out with a guy I barely knew (he was insisted on dating(, we talked about our lives, hobbies, interests etc, I can tell he is a little shy, he didn't expressed anything else and then he didn't contact... 3 days after the bu, yesterday, he initiated chatting on facebook, asking me how I am doing, and what I think about our date. I said I had a good time, he said the same and that was it... he didn't suggested a second one. It never happened to me before, and it is not the best thing to happen to you after your first date in so many years! Link to comment
DN Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Perhaps he thought you weren't interested. You didn't call after the first date and when he contacted you you didn't invite him out or even suggest another date. He gave you every opportunity and you blew it. Link to comment
John3572 Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Contact him when you want to. It's only too soon if he doesn't like you you. You don't determine that, he does. Why waste time on playing games? Link to comment
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