Confused and just lost

[MicahJ]

First of all Happy Thanksgiving to all who have taken the time to read my problem.

 

Not really sure how to set this up, to where I make sure you guys get enough or the right information to give a clear picture on your guys feedback to me. So I'll just start where I noticed the problem starting.

 

So I returned around the 10th or 11th of this month from a work trip. We set up plans for that weekend when I got back. Everything at that point is going well. I get to see her, hang out with her and have/enjoy sex with her again for the next 4 days . So on Wednesday, that night we ended up just cuddling. So once we got settled into bed I started to make some advances and get her going but she just was not going to budge about it. She said she was tired, fine. I don't expect her to perform on a daily basis, I get that people get tired from there day or they may just not be in the mood at all. If I'm tired then I won't make plans to come over and tell her that I don't want to fall asleep on you and not be able to perform, and then its done with and no wondering about it. So anyways.....So we decide to see each other on Friday but I fell asleep from a long day. So I asked her what time she stayed up til doing homework and if we are hanging out tonight. She replied with 1245 and that was all. So I texted her again asking are we hanging out tonight. no reply again. So I texted her a few more times all in a short span and then decided to right her this long text about her being different since I returned from my work trip. Actually after we spent the 4 days togeather after I came back. So I write this text saying you've changed, your not the same person since I left about three weeks ago. And if you have planned to drop me by just not texting me anymore, just say your done and we can both get on about our lives. Cause I don't want to be strung along. Her text messages have have gotten less and less existant to me and also for a bit just one word or two words texts since I have returned from my trip, that is why I sent her a message like that. I just feel something is different now. So after I sent her that long message she calls me up and was like whoa, slow down there, she said she had gotten busy with some things around the house for that hour that I was trying to get ahold of her. And that she didn't have her phone near her. If she didn't hear the text then at the very least heard her phone ring and just ignored it. I've gotten busy before and I still hear my phone ring or hear my text messages come in. So after we talked briefly about my message that I sent and the reason she didn't reply or call back sooner was because she was busy at home and didn't have her phone around her. So I took that in consideration and believed it. Now I'm happy for a bit cause her story isn't far fetched and I got to hear from her. So we make plans to hang out on Saturday and I text her if we are still good for Saturday and she says yes it will prolly be around 9 or 10 cause she is out with her friend and her kid. Well I text a few more times and she finally texts me back saying she's getting back from destin with her friend that was around 9, so I ask her again are we hanging out tonight? She replies with when I get home. I get a text from her around 1130 and I'm at her place by 1215 or so. So she just opens the door and I walk through, but there is no hug or kiss and she goes back to finishing her homework again. So I sit down and for about 10-15 minutes it was silent with a few words exchanged. I was withdrawing somewhat at that point, then she places her leg on top of mine and I feel assured she is still interested. So she finishes up and now we are cuddling in front of her tv and I suggest we head to her room and she's giving me a hard time about it and laughing but we end up getting to her room. So we settle in and again, she is not wanting to have sex and just wants to cuddle, that is where I get somewhat irritated, cause it has been 5-6 days since the last time we had sex. So I tell her what's the issue, what's going on. And she says she is tired and looks at me and takes my arm and wraps it around her body. I mean it's not like she had to go to work the next day, she could sleep in. So I just flat out ask her if she wants me to leave and she says no, then a few seconds later she asks is this all you came over for, so of course it wasn't, and I said no. But at the same time it's been 5-6 days since we last had intercourse and I was wanting some. So she asked me "what was wrong" and "I stated what I wanted and again saying she is different now" and she doesn't defend herself really when I say that. She just said "I will get you in the morning". So morning came and I was ready and same thing happened again, some more excuses of "let me wake up first" but she had to of been up cause her kid was hungry, so she isn't going to let her kid starve! So she makes her kid food and then hops back into bed curls up to get some sleep and I'm laying on the bed like * * * . So we end up just talking about the chain of events that are happening and I'm telling her what I've been thinking for the last week and a half. So we open up dialogue and start to hash this out. She told me that my jealousy and suspicion was getting to her. Okay, in my defense though, if I didn't care for her I wouldn't be jealous and i'm not an overly jealous guy either. Just enough to show I care. But I did have some doubts about there being another guy for quite a bit and I would ask her at times if I'm the only one or if she had any other sex buddies. And I just kept having those same feelings and those some questions would come right back to me asking them. So I finally told her the reason why I had those doubts and she explained to me and I felt better for not holding it in anymore, but I just still believe there are some lose strings still on that subject. But I'm biting the bullet on that subject whether or not its false or true. So with all that had been said she stated I'm starting to give her a creepy vibe and I'm thinking to myself I can't believe she said that. So she suggests we start over, and to take it down a couple of notches. But as I recall, when we first started after the first time we had sex was she was always wanting to know when I could come over and she would make time. As of lately not so much.. I've asked her if she wanted to end this and she doesn't reply or that please tell me if its not working out instead of just not calling or texting me anymore. We had a a little argument last night about her canceling plans last night to take her friend to the airport at 4 am the next day and that I noticed that she didn't feel bad about canceling plans We could have hung out but she decided to hang out with her friend instead of me. And how I feel she doesn't seem to want to make time for me now. At one point in the convo, she said if you think I'm not interested then fine think what you will. She doesn't talk about feeling or emotions with me. Then when I asked her if it was over, she tried to turn it around on me by saying that I want it over since I keep asking her that question...Well that's about the whole story, just tired of typing now and getting this off my chest.

 

Additional notes says she is still attracted she just has issues about the jealous and suspicion part. And I guess now about how if she doesn't respond to my text immediately how I go in this panic mode and start to blow up her phone. just seems weird to me that she never has her phone on her or I need to find something to occupy my time with. Bad thing is guys, I have fallen for this girl and she knows it. Cause I have told her all my feelings for her, she's just not on the same book as she puts it. She wants to slow it down. Not sure what that really means though.

[offplanet]

Can you put a few paragraph breaks in next time plz because it was hard to read! Anyway, this looks like one of those situations where you should go by a person's actions rather than their words, and listen to your gut feeling that she seems to have changed towards you but doesn't want to come out and admit that. You might be better of to back off from her and see if she comes back, and if she doesn't, there's your answer. I could understand her wondering if it's all about sex for you, as you seem a bit pushy about that. Maybe that's bothering her, or maybe she's not on the same page as you re sex. I get the feeling you might be more into her than she is into you. A lot of people don't see that, and then get a shock when the person breaks up with them. It might be better to break up with her before she breaks up with you, because the way things are going, you might drive her to that conclusion.

[valentina]

I agree with offplanet that you do appear quite pushy on the sex front....i realise it had been 5-6 days but sex is not a right its a privelage! I think maybe your girl is feeling a bit overwhelmed, she has a kid and school to deal with too. It seems quite feasable that she would have had a lot going on around the house and missed your calls/texts. I can understand that when you fall for someone you want to be with them as much as possible (sexually too) but I think you just need to take a step back and allow her to catch up with you.

 

Valentina

[MicahJ]

I may seem pushy about the sex, but we started this as a FWB, so that is all it was. But I ended up with feelings for her.

[MicahJ]

Yeah, sorry about that. I will put paragraph breaks the next time.

[MicahJ]

So today I finally got a few texts from her and that made me smile, but I noticed she didn't answer any of the questions as far as are we over? Can we hang out tonight, or can we discuss the matter. She is just avoiding those questions.

[MicahJ]

Hey I was wondering If I could get more advice from you.