Setting uo for a fall?

[daranka]

My girlfriend and I were together for almost 3 years, she had been rather distant for going on 6 weeks, finally the last 2 days she didnt contact me, then boom it was over.. this was on Sunday.

 

A little about us both, when we met I'd been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and ADHD, I was a recluse. She is very outgoing, strong personality type, and had a steady job working from home. My feelings for her have only grown stronger over the time we were together, and until recently it was the same for her. We've told eachother we are the love of eachothers lives, and will always be together. She lives in the middle of nowhere, has 2 horses, 2 dogs, multiple cats, and a pig.... she lives alone (though the plan was i would be there sometime in the new year). Her work about 2 months ago changed their policy and she was no longer allowed to work from home, She now has to travel for 1.5 hours to the office, work 10 hours, and travel 1.5 hours back.. ontop of this she has no drivers license and so is either reliant on people helping or she catches the bus. Her family are very unsupportive and hate that she lives where she does, so support from them is almost nonexistent. Now I've been trying to get her to let me come there and ease the burden for a while, but she would never let me... I've been working my ass off getting professional help i need so that I could be with my love, and she didn't wanna hinder that.

 

Now, her work is in a very busy period, they are sending her on business trips almost every week, which she has to fund herself, (expenses are paid in the paycheck). This month has been hell for her, but the last week capped it all off when she had no money. Now I had noticed a steady decline in affection from her end pretty much since her work changed this policy and she had to work from the office,and of course I at times was affected badly. Now consider all this crap she is dealing with, she broke it off with me on sunday, told me she just can't feel anything atall right now, everyday is a struggle... I totally understand. She doesn't remove me from anywhere facebook.. msn... nowhere, I struggled to deal with it the first 2 days, but today I figured i want her in my life whether it's friendship or love. She told me she wants me to move on (and I know it's because she doesn't know what her future will hold) The thought however that keeps in my mind however is that when she sorts things out, can we reignite the flame... and i feel like this is setting myself up for more heartbreak. Do you think it's entirely possible that among that anxiety / stress / cloud of depression she is in right now, her feelings for me are still there. I'll point out she told me she still loves me, but not enough for a relationship, since all she can think of is fixing all this crap going on right now.

 

My thoughts are that i continue with my progress as planned, keep the contact and offer support when she needs?

 

Sorry for the jumbled writing!

[LBP]

It's possible, but that's quite a thing to bank on. I think your best bet on this is to be supportive and provide her with relief from her anxiety rather than exacerbating it. Doubtless she's feeling a lot of pressure from your affection, and that pressure has turned into anxiety, depression, what have you. I suggest waiting for a while, a good while, and then calling her up. When you call, be the funniest, most positive guy alive. Make her laugh; help her forget her troubles. Even better: Help her remember that her troubles will pass.

 

Warning: Calling her is in no way guaranteed to work. It's possible that she has already checked out and that there is simply nothing you can do. So, like I said, risky thing to bank on. Could end real ugly, real painful emotionally.