ElizabethB Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I try to find my answers. And this might be one of an option why I did fall for him at first place. He was just a friend when I found out how terrible sick he is. I felt bad for him; I felt like he needs someone to have and care about him. He was lonely at that time but had his walls which I tried to break down. Well, for a while I did. After some time I ended up heart broken and all I can think of is, what made me fall for him at first place. Can you fall for someone this way? Just because you want to make their life better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Because you are a "caretaker" type and it helps you to value yourself by giving of yourself to another. Thing is --- you cannot fix another being, no matter how hard you try. And no one wants someone in their life because they feel sorry for you. Think about it -- would you want someone to be w/ you because they pity you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 One part of me fall for him because of that, or helped me to look at him that way. But after all, I love him for who he is even though I do worry about his health a lotl. I know it sounds weird but it is not pity why I would love to being part of his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awoken Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Because you are a "caretaker" type and it helps you to value yourself by giving of yourself to another. Thing is --- you cannot fix another being, no matter how hard you try. And no one wants someone in their life because they feel sorry for you. Think about it -- would you want someone to be w/ you because they pity you? I would tend to agree. It does sound like you are the type of person that likes to look after others. Forgetting about looking after yourself first, emotionally. So you invest all your time in this person and then they turn around and break your heart. Well thats how this situation reads. Don't go beating yourself up about it. You should be proud that you have a caring nature. I guess you just have to be aware of this and try not to let others take advantage of this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 Thanks! I tried hard enough to make him happy. Even now I hope he will find someone who will be there for him. I wish him nothing but best and it is killing me that it ended the way it did. He is 11 years older, permanently impotent and with me in my late 20, with no kids - I would give up that part of my life for being with him. But it was not enough. I was not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 You are looking at this wrong. He was not enough -- not you. And you are too young to give up your potential future for a man that does not value you. That does not make you value-less -----it makes him incapable of seeing beauty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 Mhowe, thank you very much for kind words. There is much true in them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
im_the_undead Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Yes, of course. Most often our compassion for a person turns into something so much more. It's a delicate situation, I would say, since I've been in love with someone I felt sorry for as well. I felt it was my duty to take care of their heart. The guilt of not doing so is what kept me going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
im_the_undead Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Also, my sister dated an impotent man he was outwardly social, and friendly, but in the end he revealed himself to be a sick individual. he cheated on her, which is weird to me, because my sister is beautiful, young, and he was not attractive and in his 40's... not to mention, IMPOTENT. why would he cheat on her knowing he had a good woman on his side? all i can come up with is that after living an entire life impotent, he had some mental issues which hindered his ability to be confident and fully happy. he had to fulfill his needs by trying to pick up as many women as he could. i feel very sad for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Is this man your husband of ten years? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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