Pisces72 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 If you don't want to be with her in a relationship then there is no point being friends with her, you have expressed how this hasn't helped. You don't need to be there for her to 'heal' that is something she has to do by herself. But 8 guys? Blimey, i'm suprised you are still hanging around after that knowledge, i personally wouldn't. And she cant say her sleeping with this one guy, as far as you are aware, wont develop into something else, there is a high chance it could. Winner!!! What foresight! Link to comment
winniethepooh Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I told her last night that out of respect for her bf and herself that xmas was probably a bad idea and she responded with.. "Do whatever it is you want, he doesn't need to know, we don't talk about our exs. I dont want you to do this for me out of pity." Whatever the details are of your Christmas arrangement, I think her comments are a very good reason for you to bail. And stop all further communication with her. I don't have the energy to try and dissect that verbal abortion I kinda want to just call off the whole thing Kinda? Definitely! but I don't wanna come accross as rattled, or weak. Who cares how you come accross? Anyway, I think it comes accross as weak if you DO go and spend Christmas Day with her after what she said. Im just gonna get this day over with and say bye. She knows that I will be vanishing, I've made that clear...she still wants to stay friends, which I still find strange even more so now that shes in a relationship. No, it's not necessarily strange. Sounds to me like you're providing emotional support for her. Our conversation ended with her saying, "I think in the future we will be friends" To which I responded.. "The futures not ours to see..I'll know when I'm ready." And that was that... hurry up Dec 25th, this is getting annoying. No, that was not that, unless you make it so. Don't see her on Christmas Day. Link to comment
winniethepooh Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Also find it interesting how in just a few weeks she goes from saying how she doesn't want to date anyone while in school to, I'm dating but its nothing serious, to I'm in a relationship! Interesting? I guess. Surprising? No, not really. Leave her alone. Link to comment
peterepeat Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 dont spend Christmas with her its only going to keep the wounds open with more question. just go NC release yourself from her and maybe do the friends when all is good. but you probably wont want to be chums when your all healed. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Wow, what a thread. Glad you are not spending Christmas with her. I would advise that you move on from this girl forever unless you are OK with an open relationship (which you aren't). Link to comment
Pisces72 Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 No, not into the open relationship thing. I'll put a stop to this and initiate NC. I'm interested to see how I feel about this whole thing a few months from now.. I'll use this thread to update if anything interesting happens and document my progress. Thanks again for all your advice everyone. Link to comment
Pisces72 Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 Hello everyone Well lets see, Its been quite awhile since I've last posted. Just wanted to stop in and say I'm still alive. Alive and doing well! Its been about 3 months of nc now with my ex. I've moved along pretty good. Thoughts of her drift into my head daily but it doesn't invoke any emotional reaction in me so I know I'm nearly healed. Enjoying the single life and living my life on my terms. I haven't met anyone else yet, haven't been looking. Work has been going great and still keeping up my routine with the gym. Lost about 35lbs and have put on muscle. 6'0 and about 210 now, a frigging tank..look and feel good!! Its funny reading back to what I was saying a few months ago, boy I've come along way. I can truly see how venomous she was too me. In the 6 months since we have been broken up, I know that since I've taken the time to be alone and heal properly..the next special girl that walks into my life I will be able to give 100% of my new and improved self. Thank you to all of you for your invaluable insight and advice. It really helped me. I smile everyday, life is good! Take care all. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Awwww thanks for the update....what an awesome guy you are...your ex lost out big time!!! Congrats! Link to comment
Pisces72 Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 Ty both! I'm sure I'll drop in from time to time, love the people here. JA0371, you're far too kind =) Link to comment
thousandyear Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Congrats!! So nice to see a happy story on this forum... I'm feeling happy just reading your update You give the rest of us in the earlier stages of this healing process hope! Your ex likely has no idea what a great guy she just lost... someday when she realizes, she'll regret big time... Keep up posted on your future happy developments and insights! Link to comment
Pisces72 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Hello my friends! Well its been almost a year to the day since I last posted. Thought I would pop in and give an update over the past year. I started dating again, none of them really went anywhere other than one girl whom I have been dating for the past 3 months. She ended things on Sun night saying that she has feelings for her ex still and she doesn't think her and I feel the same for each other. I suppose it just wasn't meant to be. It hurts to feel like you have been rejected, especially since we never had an argument and things seemed to be going well. She was a very strong headed woman who hadn't had much experience in relationships with men and it was tough for me to feel fully at ease with her. Perhaps I was paranoid and it showed from my last relationship and I'm still not ready for a partner. I think she picked up on this and decided to end things. Intend on staying single now for a good long while. Reading back over this thread and how I was feeling last year makes me realize how much I have learned since my last breakup. I have the tools to properly move past this and since it had only been a few month relationship I think I can shake this one off quick. I got the "I think you're amazing, all my friends say the same, I want to be friends still" speech but I know thats rubbish. I never said I wanted no contact but neither of us have contacted one another since Sun night and I don't intend on responding to her if she does contact me unless its about something meaningful. Other than that life is pretty good, job is still going well and time to start dating the gym again!! Hows everyone else doing? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Aww ... sorry for how you are feeling. But glad that overall you are doing better. What do you think you need in order to be ready for another relationship? Link to comment
tryharder83 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 thank you for taking time and for sharing your success to us.. you have certainly done alot of positive things keeping in mind that you are doing it for you.. and becoming a better person.. alot of us needs this kind of inspiration thank you again OP. Enjoy your new life Link to comment
Pisces72 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Aww ... sorry for how you are feeling. But glad that overall you are doing better. What do you think you need in order to be ready for another relationship? Hello again Ms Darcy and thank you. Thats a good question, I think I need to find someone who is just more compatible with my personality. I wear my heart on my sleeve, very sensitive and emotional person. I think I tend to focus more on keeping my partner happy that I neglect myself. Link to comment
Pisces72 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 thank you for taking time and for sharing your success to us.. you have certainly done alot of positive things keeping in mind that you are doing it for you.. and becoming a better person.. alot of us needs this kind of inspiration thank you again OP. Enjoy your new life Thanks, I'm continuing to evolve. One day we will all get to where we want to be hopefully. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Hello again Ms Darcy and thank you. Thats a good question, I think I need to find someone who is just more compatible with my personality. I wear my heart on my sleeve, very sensitive and emotional person. I think I tend to focus more on keeping my partner happy that I neglect myself. Do you tend to attract "hard" women - who are more emotionally unavailable? Link to comment
Pisces72 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Do you tend to attract "hard" women - who are more emotionally unavailable? The last two relationships I have been in, they both definitely fit that bill, yes. Link to comment
Pisces72 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Why do you think that is? Sent you a pm so we don't clutter the forum Link to comment
Pisces72 Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Oh my how so much can change over a few years. Reading all of this, it seems like I was a completely different person. I have learned and grown so much since. I do remember the kindness shown here by the users, and to anyone suffering, It will get better. There is no magic answer but please do NOT stop living life, dwelling on a lost relationship. I regret the wasted days, and hopeless nights. I can remember so well..the endless questions, reading, searching for something that will fix that dread and utter void left. You need to just let go and allow it. Be thankful you are so aware of these intense feelings. You will love again, and hurt more. And one day you will look back as I am right now and chuckle at how silly it all was. Link to comment
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