Hope happens.

[Promises10]

To those who held on to hope, to promises... to those who were left for someone else... to those who can relate... Did you ever hear from or see your ex again? Did you use NC? How much time did you spend apart before hearing from or seeing your ex? Any stories of reconciliation from those who can relate?

 

My ex promised that I would hear from him, that I would see him again... I want to believe him, I want to have hope that his promises are sincere, but I know that I shouldn't, especially considering that he left me for someone else. I've made the very difficult decision that we all wish we didn't have to make... to begin to let go, to begin to move on, and to begin to heal... if I do ever hear from him or see him again, then I'll know his promises were sincere, and if I don't, then I'll know he wasn't who I thought he was.

 

Please post any stories of hope, of promises, or of reconciliation so that maybe, just maybe... holding on to hope isn't such a bad idea after all.

 

I hope to come back here one day to let others know that having hope and believing promises is truly something worth holding on to.

[Furbys]

Can i just say that perhaps when he said he will contact you in the future this will be when his new relationship doesn't work out. So if he comes back because it didn't work out, don't class that as hope working. It would just mean hes going back to someone he knows would want him back.

 

There is nothing wrong with having hope, when people split up they always hope they will get back together, but people split for a reason.

[Madison12]

I held out hope for a while. We were engaged with a whole wedding planned. I was shattered. Here's the thing. I hoped for love. And I found it again. With someone much more suited for me. I got my happy ending and it didn't have anything to do with my ex.

 

I know this is perhaps not what you are hoping to hear. But your ex is not the only one out there whom you can love deeply. Please believe this.

[toby17]

He's said you'll hear from him again, see him again. He didn't say you'll be together again.

 

You're selling yourself short by waiting for someone who has left you for someone else. You're better than this. I know it hurts but by thinking about yourself as desperate you're hurting your own pride, damaging your own self-esteem.

[chados]

my ex initiated contact after 2 weeks, and then again after 3weeks, yesterday, 4 weeks after the breakup i called her, she was working, she texted me a few hours later, what did you want when you contacted me?, i asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee and she said yes. she sounded happy. i cant say that she wants me back, but i've never experienced a girl that would take this much interest in me after they broke up with me. and even agree to meet up.

[AnnaN]

My ex told me that he loves me and cares about me and he wants to have contact, maybe have a coffee together some time when we both feel ready. He never said anything about getting back together.

It's been more than 3 weeks, I contacted him a week after bu just to see how he was doing, he told me he was glad to hear me, he wanted to call me ,too, but it was too soon and too difficult for him. (really? you dumped me, remember?). I texted him on his birthday and he called be back to thank me. That was one week ago...

 

I started losing hope the last two days. For the first week, I was really hoping we will be together again. They only moments I felt relieved and better were when I was hoping and picturing us together in the future.

He didn't leave me for anyone else, he is not even looking for someone else, so I can't hope that his new relationship won't work out and he will come back.

In fact if he's not interested in a rebound, his next relationship may be successful. Although he said he wants to be alone for a year or so...

 

It helped me a lot to hope for the first days, it was the only thing I had, but now I am trying to let hope go away, it doesn't help me to move on, I feel stuck, and I can't concentrate on my own things like job or studies.

But it is hard...

[chados]

sorry to hear that, its hard when a person tells you they dont want a girlfriend this for a year. im not sure but i would guess on 1. he still loves you but just wants to be alone for a year, sounds weird to me, i love relationships. or 2. he just dont wanna hurt you. whatever you do don't chase him. i wish you the best

[Promises10]

Is it best to NOT believe his promises? That way, if I don't hear from him or see him again, then I won't be as hurt as if I were to believe his promises? and if I do hear from him or see him again, then it will happen when I least expect it (and hopefully, when I no longer want to hear from him or see him again)?

 

Also, is NC my only option? As much as I want to contact him, as much as I want to believe his promises, is he the one that needs to initiate contact?

[mhowe]

Look at it this way --- believe that he meant it at the time he said it --- but life has a funny way of just happening. By the time you hear from him again, it might not matter to you at all. I know that seems hard to believe right now, but it could.

 

Just move on with your life --- and yes, he is the one that left you. Accept that. You "checking in" at any point in the future just makes it seems as though you cannot accept that fact.