There's this new guy.

[Gimpyrks]

Hey everyone. A quick recap of why I am even posting in this part of the forum. For four months this summer I had begun to hang out with a man, and I really liked him, a lot. I have never experienced love, but I'd have to say that is the closest I have come to falling in love with someone. Many things lead up to it ending. Me going 2000 miles to go to school (even though it was never a spoken issue), some loose ends on his side, and a cascade of things that happened the week before I left. I have only talked to him once and after he didn't reply to an apology e mail, I gave up and set no contact.

 

I really thought I was over him. I feel like I'm ready for dating. I have been talking to this guy from my home town and he is friends with an ex of mine (different ex, this ex and I are still friendly towards each other). He seems like a really decent guy, but a lot of times when I talk to him I can't but help think of my ex...and how I still think to this day that we were perfect for each other. I know that it's over, and no matter how "perfect" we were together, it won't bring him back, but I can't stop these thoughts and I feel awful about it.

 

Any advice? Normal?

[MakeItCount]

When did it end with the other guy? It's definitely normal though. Sounds like your reasons for breaking up were out of your control and the "what ifs" are eating at you. That's probably the worst, other than being left for someone else I guess. It's always tough to get over those demons.

 

I think though, as long as you're still comparing guys to your ex, it's probably a good idea to take this REAL slow. Hang out, enjoy yourself, but make it clear you don't think you're ready for anything just yet. Just take it day by day and see if this new guy matches what you need.

 

Good luck.

[Gimpyrks]

Thanks MakeitCount that sounds like terrific advice. The guy I am talking to is back in my home state and I'm 2000 miles away from there, but I will be back for Christmas break, and I would like to meet up with this guy, not as a date though.

 

I'm not sure if I even want to bring up the 'taking it slow' idea to this guy or even talk about my ex, it's even painful to talk about it to my super close friends and I just don't want questions being asked really.

 

I'm not sure if he left me for someone else, I thought that but without proof I don't want to jump to conclusions. The last time we both had contact was beginning of September. I guess I just still have hope that he will contact me over Christmas break and things will go back to normal? It's silly to think that I know.