something about this girl...

[AloneInSf]

been single for a year, but decided against hunting to focus on school ;D.

Women are a distraction especially since i tend to put in A LOT of energy if a relationship develops.

 

So, upon taking massive amounts of science classes (i'm pre-dental) i stumble upon this study group,

with this cute girl with green eyes. She's of mixed decent, half filipina/half white.

AMAZING green eyes, reminds me of Big Trouble Little China....

 

So, cut to the chase, we end up becoming lab partners and we study a LOT, like till 4am every day for the past 2 weeks.

More occasional flirting, lots of time spent together, but i keep my space.

 

There is something about her though...she has a 4 year old daughter, and is still in a separated relationship due to living situations.

She is also talking to another guy.

 

i'm keeping my distance, but she always want to hang out, which i always decline.

 

Tonight i'm watching the Twilight movie with her, her friend & boyfriend.

 

What to do ENA?

[Madara87]

Be yourself don't ask about the other guy just be yourself

[White]

don't watch twilight

kidding.. Um do some flirting see how she reacts. If she's cold get over it. Good luck

[Gimpyrks]

Keep your distance emotionally until her "thing" with her boyfriend is 100% offically over. It's not worth getting into a relationship where they are "seperated" but living in the same house, or just separated and not offically over. I've been there and done that and no matter how much you trust the person, there's always going to be something in the back of your mind wondering if anything is really going on between them two.

 

Best of luck!

[BrowneyedMan]

She sounds nice !

 

If you are interested in her then flirt with her. While she is studying with you or is in the lab with you, she isn't with her ex-boyfriend or the other guy. So each time you have her to yourself like that is your time to shine and make a good impression on her without any competition around. It sounds like she's already somewhat interested in you, or she wouldn't ask you to hang out so much. To get the other guys out of the picture you 'simply' need to appeal to her more strongly than those other guys.

 

I think you're sending the wrong signal if you keep declining to hang out with her and keep your distance. I think you want to be social with her at least occasionally, so she doesn't get the wrong idea about you. But you also want to get as much 'alone-time' with her as you can (even if it's in the lab..), during which you should aim to find out as much about her, and what she truly cares for, likes, etc. as you possibly can. Then show that you care about that too, or understand, and she will like you for it. ...a clue is her 4-year old daughter: the daughter is probably the most precious 'thing' (-for lack of a better word-) in her life. So if you take an interest in her daughter, asking how she's doing/getting on, that might well make a very strong appeal to your girl and set you apart from the other guys. ..many guys don't realize just how important their children are to young 'single' mothers. ...talk to her about the daughter once, be interested, and then another time, when you're alone with her again, bring up the subject of her daughter again of your own accord, by remembering something she told you about her daughter the last time. And then maybe tell her something positive that you foresee for her and her daughter in their future. I'm sure this will deeply impress your girl.

 

If you can, over time, show your girl that you are the best option for her, then she will choose to be with you, it's as 'simple' as that.

She might still be emotionally attached to the ex, but things also must have gone awry with him at some point or he wouldn't be her ex. Things haven't gone awry with you and her, and that is your advantage over him. ...the other guy you want to 'eliminate' by a) spending more time with her than he can, and b) showing her that you are the better option.

[Capricorn3]

If you can handle getting involved with a 4 year old in a relationship, AND remembering that the father will always be in the picture (which has the potential for a lot of drama), then go ahead. Just be aware that it is very rarely ever plain sailing when children and ex partners are involved. I would head in the opposite direction on this one. That said, I agree with Gimpyrks above - for now, keep your distance until you know things are 100% over with the boyfriend/father.

[AloneInSf]

oh yea, one little detail. I'm also separated and my 9 year old daughter lives away from me... but i tend to take to situations as if i'm single without a child since i don't let "random females" get involved in my personal life...