healthyguy Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I'm curious on this topic... In a committed, long-term relationship, what would you say best fits you in terms of sexual activity during a woman's period: A) No sexual activity whatsoever (she doesn't feel sexy / hugs only) B) Hands only (and what frequency?) C) Blow jobs and hands for both (and what frequency?) D) Sex with restrictions (and what frequency?) With my current girlfriend, my answer is (A) and I get absolutely nothing other than hugs and a few kisses during that time of the month. To me it seems excessively cold since my girlfriend knows I have a high sex drive, and I'm just wondering if that's normal... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Dep on the girl. Some are really horny during that time.. and will go at it... Some only want to in the shower.. And few told me don't even wanna be touched during that time.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I was always very horny during my period so that is when sex happened ALL THE TIME! I just made sure things stayed as clean as possible. I used the Instead Cups and could have sex anytime with no mess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Women are different. i'm at my most turned on during that time BUT there are the occasional month were I don't even want to be touched. i'm sure she doesn't mean for it to come off cold. Most women just feel overly blah and bloated and moody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 E) I jack off. No bloody mess to clean up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 E) I jack off. No bloody mess to clean up. Why u hit it in the shower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 C and D for us. I give him BJs almost daily during that time and we occasionally have sex in the shower or on top of a dark towel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryHGirl Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 My ex and i would do it the most when i was on my period. Anytime, anywhere. For some reason when we did have sex on my period, i didnt bleed as much. My current bf is kinda grossed out which is dissapointing because when i am on it thats when im the most turned on, but its not an issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhenWillILove Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Supposedly, sex alleviates cramps. Woohoo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Depends on the girl and depends on the guy. For me, during the first 2 days, I don't want any sexual activity whatsoever. That's because of the heavy bleeding, tiredness, cramping etc. I just feel kinda crappy at that time. After that, I'd be OK with with pretty much anything if my partner wanted to...BUT he doesn't. He's disgusted by my period so when I'm on, sex is off. Actually, that suits me fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedDress Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I don't think it's fair to pin it on the girl. It depends on the relationship and the people involved. In the past, I've had sex during my period, no problem. My current bf is not into it at all and would prefer just hugs and kisses (it's only a few days and he likes to be able to reciprocate). Occasionally I'll get shower sex during that time... but it's really occasional. But... at the end of the day... even if we all say it's great, we are not in your relationship. If she doesn't want, she doesn't want. It's not fair to pressure... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I agree with the above. Also, it's fair to point out that for some women, sex can be uncomfortable or even painful during their period. Like RedDress says, it's not fair to pressure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
healthyguy Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Interesting responses so far - thanks. I would never pressure for sex, either. That's totally up to her if she's comfortable with it. When it's not heavy, I'm always up for shower sex, towels, etc. and have done so with ex's. With my current 5-year relationship, it's zero. No sex, very little affection, and no hand, oral or anything for 6-8 days every month. I just wish I had some option besides masturbation.... Seeing on here that many women are very into it during their period, and others at least help their BF out here and there with oral/hands, makes me feel like I'm in the small percentage of guys that get completely rejected, which sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Just depends on the girl, but absolutely no contact whatsoever would put me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Interesting responses so far - thanks. I would never pressure for sex, either. That's totally up to her if she's comfortable with it. When it's not heavy, I'm always up for shower sex, towels, etc. and have done so with ex's. With my current 5-year relationship, it's zero. No sex, very little affection, and no hand, oral or anything for 6-8 days every month. I just wish I had some option besides masturbation.... Seeing on here that many women are very into it during their period, and others at least help their BF out here and there with oral/hands, makes me feel like I'm in the small percentage of guys that get completely rejected, which sucks. If sex is fine during the rest of the month, I'd just accept that while you don't like it, it's how it is. Menstruation is different for every woman. Other than during her period, how is your sex life? I understand that it's annoying for you but just like you're getting rejected by your gf, loads of women out there are rejected by their men during their period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
healthyguy Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 If sex is fine during the rest of the month, I'd just accept that while you don't like it, it's how it is. Menstruation is different for every woman. Other than during her period, how is your sex life? I understand that it's annoying for you but just like you're getting rejected by your gf, loads of women out there are rejected by their men during their period. Agreed. If sexual frequency was good the rest of the month, I would be fine with nothing for a week (okay, maybe helping me out in some way without sex, once during her period, when she's feeling up for it). We're only having sex a few times a month (3-5) and I have a much higher drive (would prefer 3x/week). I've tried everything suggested from other posters in previous posts (from not being needy, no pressure, to being romantic, doing things for her, housework, massages, a million other things, etc.) and nothing seems to change her. She has no past abuse, it's not the pill, etc. I guess I just have to accept that I'm with someone with a low drive and lots of sexual boundaries...or move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Ahh, that is unfortunate. Unfortunately this kind of problem is difficult to resolve and there's no right or wrong. I do understand where you're coming from though because I'm in a similar situation. In my relationship I have the higher sex drive and like you, I only have sex maybe 3-5 times a month (been less lately!). I would definitely like it much more but I'm able to accept that his sex drive is lower (always has been) and it wont change. I don't feel resentful and although I'd like a more frequent sex life, for me there's no pent up frustration. You're right though. You either need to accept things the way they are, if you're able to do so (and nobody would judge you if you couldn't) or move on. Never an easy decision. It's unlikely that romantic dinners or anything else will change her sex drive, and if they do, it'll only be temporary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I don't do period sex. No way, it's all bloody. And I don't like condoms. My boyfriend will get BJs when I'm on my period and he can cum in my mouth too, no problem. I personally don't want anything to happen to me "down there" so he'll just get his BJs and I'm fine with cuddling/breast fondling for a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Sounds like different sex drives - majorly - you guys need to find a compromise or this could become a major problem. Has she given a reason it's only 3-5 times a month? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
healthyguy Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 Good points, Saffron. Fudgie - your man is very lucky. Optomistic Girl - Yes, the incompatible drives have become an issue. She seems to think that's a perfectly fine amount (once a week, sometimes a little more or less). I've made it clear that I would love more and want nothing more than to please her body, tease her, be close with her, etc. on a regular basis. She has an orgasm 90% of the time we do...she says she loves it once we actually have sex, but she rarely ever has any desire/drive to want sex. I'm just an affectionate / loving person and she's not. What once was a small issue seems to have only grown with time She dictates when we do and I get rejected more often than not, regardless of how I approach initiating intimacy and/or sex. We cuddle almost every day, but it's like someone turned her drive to near zero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoGGYtREAts Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 @ OP; This confict goes on in alot of relationships, tho in your case the large gap in your sex drives definitely complicates it much further. As to your original poll it varies month to month and even day to day during my wife's cycle. Some times it's impossible to give her enough, other times she wants nothing to do with it, or is only interested in certain things. It's just one of those natural things you have to come to terms with on some level. That all said, im getting the impression that if you could come to a nice middle compromise during the rest of the time it would be easier to deal with those few days a month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 So has she always been like this since your relationship began? Is she taking any medications though could be interfearing with her sex drive? How old is she? She def. shouldn't be the only one controlling how often you have sex. Even with a lowered sex drive, she sounds like a selfish lover and there really isn't much you can do about changing that unless she's willing to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
healthyguy Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 It was VERY frequent in the first 2 years together (roughly 2-3x per week and regular oral/hand on top of that). She isn't taking any medications and she's mid-late '20s. Taking the pill and/or being off of it has had zero impact on her sex drive, since we've had 2 years of 3-5x per month, one year with her on the pill, and now a year with just condoms. Yes, I'm not sure I'll be getting much affection/sex from her, as things have been this way the entire second half of our years together... I wish there was something I could do. I have been open/honest about it, but she doesn't want to pressure/force herself into having sex when she's not interested. I agree with that, but if the roles were reversed, I would be doing more to ensure her needs are met. Doesn't seem to be much of a priority for her, so the sexual power unfortunately lies in her court Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Libido does wane within a relationships but she should be making more of an effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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