Ex (now friend) taking advantage?

[cjmcm]

I've been split from my ex for half a year now- I ended the relationship and we've stayed friends since. I don't want him back- I'm with someone else now- but I still care about him.

 

My issue now is I don't know where to draw the line. He has noone else in his life- his family abused him when he was younger and he has no real close friends due to a severe social anxiety disorder. I've had a call almost every month asking for help- mainly financially. His job's messing up, his hours have been cut and he's always been absolutely awful with money. Yesterday I got another call saying he can't afford to go to the dentist and was in agony- could I possibly lend him the money for it. This is the first time he's actually asked for money- usually he describes how bad his situation is and makes me feel guilty.

 

I do care and I don't want him to go without or get chucked out of his house but I'm on a lower income than he is and can't afford to keep doing this. He is there for me when I need him and we do still get on, but I'm starting to feel like I'm acting the fool and he's taking advantage.

 

I want to help him and be there for him as a friend, especially as he has noone else, but I don't know how to address this with him without hurting him even further. Any suggestions?

[Lithp]

What is he using his money for if he's making more money than you but needs to borrow? You can be there for him, but next time he asks just let him know you yourself are short and can't afford it - maybe suggest other solutions for him, but tell him it isn't possible for you to fork over any money. If he sticks around you know he's your friend and could just use a bit of help. If you stop hearing from him though I am sure that would be your answer.

 

I have a couple friends like that... they are usually good for it eventually - or I will lend money for something and next time we go out, they pay, but typically they are just awful with their money.

[DylanNotorious]

There are times in life where you just have to say no. This is one of them. You can't afford to keep being his bank. He is taking advantage of you because you always say yes. Don't feel guilt tripped anymore. It's not your problem that he is awful with money, he needs to learn to stand on his own two feet. Don't be afraid to have that conversation with him. Surely he must know you will finally turn around and say no one day. Make it today.